This Takes The Cake

I watched as he greedily ate the chocolate cake I had worked so hard on. I wanted him to believe that I was upset that he had taken my beautiful creation as his own, but it was a fight to keep my smile hidden.

My plan was working perfectly. We had been trying to find some way to destroy this evil man for months. Our dreams were about to become reality. I couldn’t wait to watch the stages of his death.

My revelry was broken by his booming voice. “Hey, bring me milk to help wash down this cake. Quit staring at me.” He gruffly threw a napkin at my face. I stormed off and grabbed the milk. However, the milk was also a “special mix” I had premade just for my special visitor. I smiled secretly over the glass as I poured it full. The cyanide was the perfect additive that wouldn’t alter the taste of the cake or the milk.

I served the milk to the hulking man named Yosef with as much restraint and disdain as I could muster. He grabbed the milk and spilled some down the side. He quickly slapped me as my punishment. “Stupid woman, making me spill my milk. You should have known better than to fill it so full.” He always seemed to spit as he belittled us all. His reign of terror was about to come to an end, and I couldn’t wait.

My name is Renada and I live in a small community of the hillbilly ran village of Scenic, Kentucky. Yes, that is the name, and no, you have never heard of it. It is in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. I was born and raised in this shithole and over the last few years, as the population left for greener pastures, the city became overrun by a bunch of backwoods hillbillies that call themselves the Scenic Sevens.

Their main goal was to bully, harass, and steal from all of us that tried to run a business and to eventually boost our tourism back up out of this level of terror. Unfortunately for all of us, they were brutal and threatened horrible things to anyone that dared go against them.

The Scenic Sevens had been reigning their terror on all of us for too long and the law-abiding citizens had finally had enough. We had “cooked up a plan”, see what I did there? Okay, enough of my bad jokes. I ran the bakery in town and got regular visits from the idiots. If I didn’t serve them and do it with a smile, I usually paid for it by having half my money stolen and a case or two busted up.

Yosef and two of his brothers were the main terrors and no one in our town dared stand up to them. They had too many weapons and had no problem killing or setting fires.

But little did they know that the citizens of Scenic were about to take back their town. It was going to happen in the least suspicious way possible. Baked goods were always associated with wholesome images and happiness. Once Yosef was taken care of, if the rest of his gang didn’t imbibe in the food festivities, the villagers had other plans for them.

Yosef yelled at her again before focusing back on the cake. “I guess I will forgive you this time since you made me this amazing cake.” Yosef glared at his younger brothers before barking at them, “Sit down and join me in enjoying this amazing cake that Renada made for us.”

The brothers sat down and cut off a generous slice of the decadent chocolate cake. They each gave each other a fork salute before diving in to their individual slices. “Bring us all a glass of that milk, don’t be selfish,” Brandon blustered to her.

I happily served all three of them a glass of the milk. I had hoped that the other four would be invited to join in the festivities, but no worries. They would soon join the rest of the gang.

The other town members were moving into place to finish our plan while the three leaders polished off the entire two-layer cake and half a gallon of milk. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself. The cake was amazingly beautiful, and despite being full of poison, I knew it was one of my highest sold cakes (obviously without the poison) I made.

Now we waited. The heathens got up from the table, and only broke my serving platter this time. “That was for spilling my milk.” Yosef spat out before snickering with his brothers and heading to the door. That was all the further they made it before the cyanide began to do its job.

Yosef was the first to go down, followed quickly by his brothers. The other residents moved in quickly to help me move them to the freezer in the back. Once the deed was done, the team of citizens rounded up the rest of the gang and forced them into city hall.

The rest of the group were easier to round up and force into the main waiting area of city hall. The citizens then tied them all up before I presented our case to them. “Welcome Scenic Sevens. We are pleased you agreed to meet with us on such short notice.” I said it with just slight disdain in my voice.

I continued, “We are tired of your reign of terror on our small town. You have been spared so far. But the county cops are coming in with plenty of information we have presented them with in the last several weeks. So you won’t be going away quietly. As far as the brothers go, they will no longer be bothering anyone. However, we won’t pin that on you gentlemen as long as you admit to what you have been doing for the last three years to this town. You go peacefully, and you won’t succumb to the same fate as your fearless leaders.”

The remaining four men looked around rather fearfully, and looked at each other for some sort of guidance. When none came, they lowered their heads in defeat.

“Okay sounds like you have made your decision.” I said triumphantly. Cheers of relief and joy rang in my ears as the town people celebrated getting our town back.

Jonathan joined me on stage and gave me a bear hug. “Renada, we can’t thank you enough. We never would have gotten rid of these bullies if you hadn’t come up with this brilliant plan. We would like to make you an offer.”

I wasn’t sure what this offer would be, so I smiled nervously.

“We would like you to become our mayor. You are the only one that can help us recover from this reign of terror and help our small quaint town begin to shine again.”

How could I refuse such an amazing offer. Despite all the terrible things that had happened in our community, I still loved our little hole in the wall and wanted to see all of us succeed. It seemed that no one was immediately concerned about the three men we had currently chilling in my freezer at the bakery. So I guess the rest of our clean up could wait.

“I would be honored to step into the role.” I can’t help myself, the next thing that pops into my head has to be said, “This takes the cake.” Jonathan and the rest of the town folk broke into laughter with me as the county police rolled into town to arrest these terrible men.