The Voice on the Commute

Mable bit her lip as she looked at her car, the chill of the morning slithering past her clothes and sinking deep into her skin. She was on her way to work. In fact, Mable had to be there in about ten minutes. She had to leave now if she wanted to get there on time.

But…

She would surely…

A shiver overtook Mable’s body, prompting her to leave the cool spring morning and get into the car. As she started the car and buckled herself up, Mable told herself that maybe today would be different. That maybe, just maybe…

She wouldn’t hear the voice.

As she backed out of the driveway and headed to work, Mable shook her head to correct herself. Mable wasn’t schizophrenic. She wasn’t actually hearing a judgmental voice criticizing her. She knew that the voice came from the dark depths of her imagination.

But why did her imagination always use the voice of her ex-boyfriend?

Well...Jayson wasn’t technically her ex. Hard to be when they hadn’t officially dated. Sure, they had gone on dates. Sure, Mable had at one point in time wanted to see him seriously. But by the time she broke things off with him, they hadn’t kissed, snuggled, or even held hands. Let alone conversed whether they were on the same level, or had the DTR talk. Heck, she stopped seeing him during their third date. So, at least in her eyes, they definitely had not been dating.

“But you said yes to a third date!”

Mable gritted her teeth as she stomped that memory down where it belonged, determined to concentrate on the road so she could get to work safely. Her boss and coworkers were nice, and she needed the money. Just focus on that…

But apparently, stomping that line from the past wasn’t enough as the whole memory burst open, and Mable was powerless to stop it from unfolding as if it was happening all over again.

**

Mable had been happy as she and Jayson shopped through the grocery aisles. They were going to make tacos for dinner at his house, and he had thought it would be fun if they shopped for the ingredients together. And it had been fun. Well, mostly fun. Ever since a couple of days ago, there had been an uneasy feeling, a feeling that Mable had ignored because, well, it was stupid. She was probably being unreasonable.

But then her old friend Meggie showed up.

It had been a total and pleasant surprise for both of them, not having seen or heard from the other in years. They immediately and quickly caught up, and after getting Meggie’s new number, they left, swearing to hang out later. Mable recalled feeling joyful because she had honestly never expected to see her again, when she turned to Jayson.

He hadn't been smiling.

**

Mable tightened her hold on the steering wheel, both in preparation for the rest of the memory and for that one, stupid, upcoming spot in her commute.

**

“Well, that was rude of you.”

“Rude? I...I introduced you. We talked for only about two minutes. At most.” Mable told him, feeling incredibly confused. She could understand if he had been feeling left out, but…

“Which was too long. You should have just brushed her off. Told her that you were too busy. With me,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

**

Mable exhaled, recalling not liking his hand there, but letting it go because she had been too confused by what he was saying.

**

“But...but I hadn’t seen her in forever! And...just brushing her off like that could have hurt her feelings. It was only two minutes!” she exclaimed. Jayson sighed, but any hopes that he saw her point quickly died with his next few words.

“She is really pushy, huh? It sounds like she isn’t actually a friend. Sorry for saying you were rude earlier. I realize now that she was just pressuring you to talk to her. Sounds like a pretty toxic person.”

Then he held out his hand.

“Here, give me your phone. I’ll erase her number for you. That way, you won’t feel obligated to call her. And you won’t feel guilty about it either. Don’t worry, I’ve got your back. I am your boyfriend after all.”

**

Even now, Mable felt anger boiling inside her at those words.

And that one spot was still a minute away.

**

“B-Boyfriend? We’re not dating! Not yet!” she said incredulously.

“But you said yes to a third date! That means we’re dating!” he cried. Mable then realized that the red flag she had seen two days before really had been a red flag. And the flag she was seeing now was bright crimson. She had to break up with him. But when? She wanted to do it now, but he had driven her here...wait. She could walk home from here. It wasn’t that far.

It certainly beat spending another second with him.

“Well, then I guess I’m breaking up with you. Right now. Goodbye,” Mable said as she shrugged Jayson’s hand off and walked away.

“Hey! You can’t just leave! You owe me an explanation!” he cried after her, though she didn’t dare stop.

**

He had tried to go after her. Her back had been turned away from him, but she heard a male store employee come up to him and stop him, which Mable was forever thankful for. Mable had been able to walk home, though it was kinda a long walk. But she had needed it to sort through her whirling feelings. By the time she got home, Mable only felt stupid for ignoring that first red flag.

If she had, she wouldn’t be hearing his imaginary voice beside her when she reached the highway.

Which was coming up right now.

Mable breathed in deeply as she kept on driving. In order to get to work, she had to drive on the highway...for less than a minute. It was one of those, just-need-to-get-to-the-other-side kinda deals. But unfortunately, Jayson’s first red flag had been getting annoyed at other drivers for not going fast enough. At the highway entrance ramp. Where the speed limit was forty.

At this exact spot.

You’re not going fast enough!

And there it was. It was annoying, persistent, and it only happened at this one spot. Mable hated it. She hated speeding for the sake of speeding. She hated that she had ignored that red flag, thinking that Jayson was just getting annoyed at the other drivers. Mable knew that she did from time to time.

But her instincts had been right. She hadn’t been oversensitive. Jayson’s ‘small’ moment of road rage had been a sign of his controlling behavior. And to think, she had just stayed silent, not wanting him to judge her for going over forty on this part of the road-

Wait.

Was that what was going on?

Mable started to merge.

You’re merging too-

“Shut up,” Mable said, her eyes still on the road. The voice quickly stopped, but Mable knew that it was too early to celebrate. So when she successfully and safely merged onto the left-most lane, she risked a glance at the empty seat beside her.

“You aren’t a good man. You were already trying to cut me off from my friends. So why should I care what you think?” Mable said firmly, surprisingly feeling calm despite all the annoyance and anger she had felt before.

Then she turned her eyes back on the road.

“I am doing my best to make good driving decisions. I will not let you or anyone else pressure me to do otherwise. So just shut up, leave, and never come back. If you do, there is no point. You have no power over me.”

Mable didn’t hear the voice again for the rest of her commute. Of course, she had exited the highway by that point.

But it was okay.

If it dared to come back, Mable would just fight it off even quicker.