The Veil

When I was a small child I used to have this recurring dream, where the world was ending. There were brave men and women who tried desperately to save the planet from apocalyptic forces, yet the panic on their faces would paralyze me within my dreaming state.

I would vividly recall a little girl twirling and skipping within a beautiful and luscious green garden. She wore a dress that would balloon out as she twirled, and a thin veil was perfectly placed over her long brown hair. The girl would smell pink roses and was completely oblivious to the mad world which existed outside of her garden.

The war planes dropped bombs and flames would light up the sky, as sirens rang loudly through my ears. Yet in that protected garden where the little girl continued to play, a beautiful world remained. Such ignorance, such bliss and such a tragedy all played out in that one scene.

Eventually the little girl would freeze, and it was in that moment I would notice a heart shaped locket around her neck. Then just like that she would fade away, and I would wake up distressed, in the arms of my mother.

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I remember the first time I saw the world for what it was, a hologram.

It started with the moon, then the stars and eventually the entire night sky. If only we could reach out and touch the moon, then we would all know the secrets behind our existence so much sooner. The truth is eventually we look away from the moon, and everything the moonlight touches, and so we never focus on anything long enough to see things for what they really are. Subsciously we want to keep the illusion going, just like a little girl twirling and smelling roses in her own perfect garden, but eventually the destruction is inevitable...

The smell of roasted coffee beans were enticing me to take a sip of my coffee, yet I just stared at my cup until I eventually saw it for what it was, a holographic image. I slowly moved my hand towards the heat of the cup and watched in disbelief as my hand travelled through it. Like magic.

I heard footsteps as my husband entered the room, and just like that my reality had been restored. He kissed my forehead and my belly which held our soon to be first born child. He smiled and held out a box as a gift,

“Open it,” he said as I took hold of the box. I pulled at the white ribbon, which gently fell to the ground, and lifted the lid. Inside was a small dark velvet trinket box, and within that was the same heart shaped locket that had appeared in my dreams. It looked beautiful as it dangled on a silver chain, and with a single round diamond at it’s centre.

“You could put a photograph of the baby in there,” my husband said. A layer of love rushed over me. He then muttered,

“It’s merely a hologram”. I looked up from the locket into my husband's eyes,

“What did you say?” I asked quietly. He continued to stare at me but now with a confused expression.

From that moment it all began to change into a distorted perception of reality. The holograms continued, and I watched everything I set eyes upon, including my darling husband, begin to appear as holographic versions of themselves, before eventually fading away.

With my heart racing I walked into the bathroom and splashed cool water onto my face. I looked up at my pale reflection in the mirror, and stared long enough to notice the endless mirrors going deeper and deeper into another realm. The holograms around me were everywhere, and objects faded from reality to illusion.

I grabbed the locket and held it tightly as I ran outside my house. I took a moment to look down at my growing belly and tried to place my hand on the melon shaped bump, but instead my hand went straight through it, as though there was nothing inside.

I continued to run towards the sounds of sirens and planes. I gasped as I noticed that in front of me was the same recurring dream that I experienced as a child. However this time it was not a dream, yet it wasn’t reality either. It was a scene of a post apocalyptic hologram, and it was all just pretend.

Desperate to hold onto something real I clenched onto the locket but that too faded into a thin hologram, which would eventually disappear all together. I frantically looked for the beautiful garden from my dreams, still holding onto the slightest of hopes. Knowing instinctively where the garden was I walked through fading screams until I saw her, the little girl. She was twirling in the garden, at peace with not a worry to be felt.

As I approached her she stared at me, and I was grateful for the icy chill that made me realise I might still be alive. The heart shaped locket around her neck, with the single diamond was projecting fragments of rainbow light onto her small face. The light got so bright that she moved the veil from her hair to the front of her face thus covering her eyes. I pointed to the locket and she then opened it through a cross hatch. Inside were two tiny photographs, one of a baby and one of me. Tears flooded into my eyes. The little girl gently placed her finger over the top of the photograph of the baby, and her carefree expression changed,

“Daddy” she said, concerned.

It was at that moment I realised I had a son who was yet to exist, and yet he once existed. Time was not linear, and even time was part of the illusion that was masking my reality. It was in that moment when I realised nothing was coming and nothing had ever been.

With my final painful realisation I dropped to my knees. The garden and the girl became merely a hologram, before eventually disappearing. Along with the little girl, the heart shaped locket too disappeared. As my feelings started to fade, I looked at what was once a bed of roses within a lush green garden, yet all I saw was nothing but the fragile thin veil.

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