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The Unforeseen Withdrawal

Dollars Ex-Machina

By Ian VincePublished 3 years ago 1 min read
Top Story - June 2023
The Unforeseen Withdrawal
Photo by Brock Wegner on Unsplash

In the unforgiving heat of noon, Marcus and Stella contemplated the imposing structure of SunTrust Bank. The bank so impenetrable its vault opened right there, on the banking floor. A charming misdirection; there was another vault door beyond it.

Marcus strolled into the bank, won smiles and trust, while in a nearby café, Stella, the tech prodigy, circumvented the bank's security protocols and provided Marcus with the digital bonafides that would allow him through the first door as a security consultant.

While Marcus strode into the vault, Stella infiltrated the bank's network, disabling alarms, closing the outer door and accessing the second door sub-routines.

The inner vault’s door opened. The inner vault was empty. More misdirection. The bank was a sham.

In the café, Stella's screen flashed an incoming transfer, four times their expected haul. With it, an anonymous message: “They moved the money. I helped you steal it. I'm your fan.”

She stared at the message, shocked, then grinned. They had an ally, a ghost in the machine.

Crestfallen, Marcus slumped in defeat. Stella slid into the driver’s seat, and showed him the laptop screen. They roared off into the heat, the wind singing songs of an impossible heist.

Microfiction

About the Creator

Ian Vince

Erstwhile non-fiction author, ghost & freelance writer for others, finally submitting work that floats my own boat, does my own thing. I'll deal with it if you can.

Top Writer in Humo(u)r.

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  2. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  4. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (11)

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  • 𝐑𝐌𝐒3 years ago

    I love this one. You wove a great tale of intrigue with an efficiency of words. Well done!

  • Pamela Williams3 years ago

    Amazing heist! Congratulations!

  • Whoaaa, I did not see that coming! That was fantastic! Loved your story! I've subscribed too!

  • ThatWriterWoman3 years ago

    You managed to get a huge amount of information into these 200 words! Well done!

  • Wow! Thank you Kim, Alhassan, Dana, A., K.C., and Clyde so much for the amazing comments! I'm very early on in a journey towards fiction and it's heartening to see I got one right.

  • Kim Loostrom3 years ago

    Fun and suspenseful! Great job with the challenge!!

  • Alhassan Friday3 years ago

    nice one

  • Dana Crandell3 years ago

    That's a very nice twist. Well done and Congratulations on Top Story!

  • A. Lenae3 years ago

    I love your language in this! The heist itself seemed to be written with the rhythm of a dance, and then your last sentence was so victorious and filled with intrigue. Well done!

  • K. C. Wexlar3 years ago

    nicely done - i like the AI component would you read something I wrote also on AI? appreciate any feedback! https://shopping-feedback.today/fiction/my-ai-alibi%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/span%3E%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3C/div%3E%3Cdiv class="css-w4qknv-Replies">

  • Clyde E. Dawkins3 years ago

    Very awesome bank heist story!

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