The Unconditional Contract

Do you know that of all the people you have kissed, she was your favourite because she didn’t flinch when you curled your hand around her neck and tightened. she said, “I break the law because I’ve never broken a heart and I want to know what it feels like to be the brick and not the window pane.” she touched you the right ways and lingered until you craved her as badly as a hungry wolf craves the taste of a deer. She was the burning sensation in the back of your mind and it thrilled you to feel so courageous and do things you never would have dreamed of doing with me. When she was drunk she’d dress up for you, all straps, and lace, and stockings. and when she was high she’d dress down for you. All skin, and skin, and skin. And then there you two go! She would never mind you saying dirty words in your ears, she would never mind dancing with you, for you. You always loved her. You always loved her guts. You always loved how she would manage you. She? Well she is beyond loving and longing, beyond senses and sentiments, beyond jealousy and triumphs. She is what you made her. She is what you dream of when you are with me. She is exactly the one you ll never possess but ll be with you forever!

Her presence surely excites the world out of you, but its her words that make the most damage. “Meet Me!”, the power of her words were so tremendous that you almost felt the sickening of the every muscle in your body. The words didn't only touch your ears, they pierced in your body leaving you paralyzed. Your stomach started churning. It had been years that you touched her, felt her close. You took another drag, another puff of cigarette. "I could never forget the smell of her", you thought. But to be true, at the moment, the distance, the dust, drags, days and doormats were the only things smell familiar. Everything but her!Your hands started trembling with the thought of touching her deepest curves one more time. Your blood started gushing through your veins with the slightest realization that she was gonna submit you fully. She remained a powerful lady with her words and equally with sex. The manipulation she enjoys...You loved getting manipulated by her. "12 mins more!" You calculated.. There was not a single minute that you thought of flying your car off. You had always been a patient man. But these 12 mins were making you more sick. More nervous. More attracted towards her. Oh the idea of meeting her! And alas, there you were, knocking her door. The world ll never see how you pounce at her and play and smell and fuck her. The love you two make, the chemistry you two share, the intimacy......and the door opened for beautiful her. 'When is she gonna stop biting her lips?'And her inviting looks... But then she asked "Why are you wearing a wedding suit?"

..and then you thought of me! Like a flash of the lightening, I struck to your mind. For the first time you thought of me when you are standing before her. We were about to achieve the one ultimate dream that we dreamt together. For the first time, you were getting married and the urge in you placed you in front of her, instead of me.

Here, I was thinking about my unique wedding altar, my perfect wedding dress, my bridesmaid, my hair, my wedding ring. And there you were, all electrified to meet her? You closed your eyes! "Holy shit! Couple of hours?!" That was the only time left between your desire of becoming one with her and the chastity you show to the world; between your wedding vows and your lust.

She, on the other hand, was looking beyond your wedding suit and a bow tie. She was noticing your cheeks and lips, looking at your hair and eyes, gazing at your flesh and soul. She smiled and asked "Do you want me to wear a wedding gown too?" How could she make a fun of such an unpleasant situation? Why she had such an unnerving effect on you? Why couldn't she be normal? Or more precisely, why was she so aberrant as not to see a man with a wedding gown, who had forgotten about his own wedding supposing to reunite with her?? How could she be ready with her claws polished and emotions all toxic, to lure, seduce and provoke? I always hated her guts.

That day, you had asked her to dress up like a queen, only to undress her. But the moment you saw her all glamorized in her best costume, you saw her beyond flesh and skin. There was something remarkable about her that struck you that day. The ultimate thought that came to you was so superfluous in your account…you discarded it at once! You again concentrated on her body. You couldn’t help but to kiss her. Your fingers graced her. Your lips circled around her neck. You whispered in her ears “Be Mine!” She couldn’t help, but love all that you were doing. You married to her long before you were married to me. You danced, laughed, made the most of what you two had left. Then you left her behind, for good.

She died that night. The night you both called it ‘through’. She did not even know why she had to die. She always listened to her instincts more than anything else. Remember, when you two started seeing each other secretly, she used to stand at the roof of the topmost building and used to ask you to kiss her there? She could easily influence and arouse you to join her and kiss at the cliff of that roof-top. But when you left her, she did not influence you, instead she encouraged you to leave her. Her heart also left her that night. She missed you. But she missed who she was more. She visited the spot where you two used to lay, with tears in her eyes. She couldn’t help but wonder, had she not let herself die that night, who she would be today. She experienced everything with you. All she wanted was a walk on the streets holding your hand, a kiss not on the secluded roof-top but in front of a crowd, a visit to the places she loved sharing your side. She wasn’t an insecure lady for sure. She just wanted to become me. …and I always wanted to become her!

- Laleeta