The Town With No Puppies

My device broke and I was without internet for two weeks and we are in lockdown. This is what came out. (Dialogue for the play is not complete yet but I am practicing until I get it right. Therefore, this is a narrative).

Characters

Tiny Pim - an animal lover on a course of action. Nothing really tiny about him but so the name goes, and goes. Well-intentioned has a heart of gold and knows everyone in town.

Ms. Forget It - a lady who couldn't tell the truth because if she did she would suddenly forget what she said. So she earned the name, Ms. Forget It. Barely aware, she thought hard to herself all the time and was often seen with a furrowed brow.

Mr. Itchy Scratchy - a man pretending to be a train conductor. Or was it the other way around? He wasn't either of those. He was really a doctor. He liked to scratch his head a lot with a look of puzzlement. Or he had admired his n'er do well so much that it was going to fall off. He was either doing that or sticking his hands under his armpits. Anyhoo, hence, his name.

Judge Hazzeloff - a widow yearning to be discovered on a reality show, he worked part-time at this judge thing. Kept an ounce of olive oil in his pocket for good luck and slathered himself in cologne.

Princess Geraldine - who lived on the outskirts of town and lavished in the sun eating cans of gravy, when there was any. For the most part, she listened to all the townpeople on her mega earphone and counted the days. 4o days and counting on bread and gravy. She longed to keep her dowry of puppies.

Mayor No-Nonsense - he was just always around, somewhere. A handsome and distinguished-looking man, everyone cooed over him.

The Matchman - a mysterious character. Some fashioned him to be all myth with no substance. Spent more time making sure his cowlick was flattened before knocking on any door to say who he really was. People cowered in the shadows at the mere mention of his name.

The Town Guards - there were three of them. Habitually in cahoots with each other. Their favorite thing to do was to tell stories and swap wives. Guard Ixnay, Guard Heavy-foot, and Guard No Name.

President Eduardo of the Bardo - the ruler of the land who settled all scores. Could melt the heart of any woman but only had one firmly attached to his hip. Intelligent, he kept a napkin in his pocket at all times.

The Setting

A small town of a few hundred people that had been in existence since the writer created it. Nestled between the countryside and a great lake. It had one park, one town square, an office that doubled as many things, and stage curtains to hide the rest of the place.

The Play

Once upon a time, there was a town with no puppies. They simply weren't allowed. There was a secret committee that decided this, "no pets ever!" was their motto. This town was like a big secret because everywhere else you could. They got together regularly to discuss the future of the puppy less town. Which was also illegal but since everything was a secret, well, you know.

Neither of the committee members could keep their mouths shut. The people of the town figured this committee out and kept their pets indoors lest the "Matchman," came to take them. Who he is was no one knew, he was most mysterious but show up at the door he would and threaten if he even heard a meow. The townspeople lived in fear. The punishment for owning a pet was jail and puppies or any animal put on death row. It was sad. So sad it was unspeakable. True towns villains even worked to wreak revenge on pet owners everywhere, getting in on the whole mess of things.

There was also no music allowed in the little town. What for, who needed music? No singing allowed either. What miserable lives without a song to guide them.

Children everywhere sighed. They sat and looked out the windows longingly for the chance to see an itty bitty bird flying around or maybe a fox, anything furry or with wings. They knew no way to domesticate because there were no pets anywhere. Occasionally, they would see a boy child wandering around with a flattened cap on his head, it was so old and withered. That was Tiny Pim, wandering to save the day or kind of.

Because they had no pets and music they had no way to enjoy life. So once every few months the townspeople would get together in the town square and go around in circles. This is what they did for fun. The town motto was "raise your hands in the air," so they did that too.

Tiny Pim bugged the snot out of Itchy Scratchy, I mean Mr. Itchy Scratchy. He was forever going up to him and holding out his hat saying, "please sir, can I have more food." Then Mr. Itchy Scratchy would give Pim the "look," and tell him to go and get all the stray cats in town so he could make money off of them. But Tiny Pim wouldn't bring him any pets to sell on the black market, he didn't want any money that way! Instead, he kept them all, the ones that would wander through from the neighboring towns. He kept all the cats, dogs, puppies, birds, and bunny rabbits hidden in his house.

One day Tiny Pim wrote a letter to the Big TV News and another one to the Government. He wrote, "what is to become of us? The rest of the world has puppies and music. Why can't we? Every house should have as many as they want. They were born equal too weren't they? Isn't this some kind of discrimination against animal lovers? Puppies like music also and music loves puppies." Tiny Pim sang to them all day in hushed whispers so the Matchman didn't hear him. We are well-to-do's too and mean well all the time and it would be more than well to have some puppies to buy.

President Eduardo of the Bardo was inspired by the young man's plea, He had all the answers and knew exactly how to help. "This is how to fix it, give the Mayor of the town a gift, a bottle of wine, and tell him to change the name of the town to the - Well To Do's Town. Well, he thought, the boy was absolutely correct. Everyone knows that well-to-do's like pets and everyone knows that well-to-do's stick together. That way everyone could buy one and each pet will have a home. "But you will have help in the journey," he wrote. "Seek help from those townspeople who look out the windows. Then go to Judge Hazslehoff and ask, what rules?"

* * *

Ms. Forget It sat with Guard NoName trying not to drool over the ham cooking. We are not sleeping together she told herself mentally, again. She did that a lot so she wouldn't forget. We are not sleeping together, Guard NoName and I are just having dinner together.

Scene change to Guard NoName's wife who was parked in their car around the corner. Chewing her Timmy's sandwich and listening in, surprise surprise she was also clairaudient. Meaning she could hear between the lines. She was parked there in case her husband came into trouble. She listened harder. It was taking him an awfully long time to pass the salt. Five minutes, then ten, she was starting to get nervous. He must be looking for the salt shaker, can't find it, hmmm.

On and on and on that night went. Itchy Scratchy sat at the train yard counting dollar bills.

Tiny Pim who was wandering around again considered, well, Ms. Forget it knows the Guards. Maybe there is a way to get their help and make this work. So next evening, he knocked on the door for dinner. Ms. Forget It forgot who he was and let him in. Now, she was entertaining Tiny Pim. He had told her his story before and gave her a hundred cats, in thanks. She hid them all. She had made a few calls. All was in order. They mapped out a plan.

Guard Heavyfoot dressed Tiny Pim up in a uniform and said he was new as a town guard. Then they sent him to the Mayor with a gift of wine and he drank it right up. While Tiny Pim was there he looked around the office casually. A little later after the Mayor went home, Tiny Pim snuck in the office and searched and looked for the paperwork to change the name of the town. Using the Mayor's computer then he took a screenshot and posted it on social media so it would be verified and that way everyone knew. Mayor NoNonsense was delighted. That was a great name, The Well To Do's Town. Love it.

The next day Guard Ixnay organized a parade to announce the new name. As he was doing this, Ms. Forget It and Tiny Pim sold dogs, cats, bunnies, parrots, budgies, a litter of raccoons, and even puppies to the townspeople. Then the Big TV News show arrived and filled the street with music. The townspeople were excited, acting like it was Christmas and they had randomly avoided pepper spray. In the milieu, Judge Hazzlehoff disappeared.

The town was so delighted and overcome that they danced around to the music with their new fur friends. They lined the streets with their pets on leashes, buggies, wagons, on their shoulders, and even atop their heads and headed to the town square singing obladi-oblada.

Not so far away Princess Geraldine sat on her lounger with all her own pets around her. She smiled at the sound of laughter, songs, and fun purrs, mews, pleasant barks, squeaks, and squawks coming from the town square and sang along to all the songs. She lovingly petted her own. While she awaited the arrival of Tiny Pim who was going to show her how to grow bread on trees.

The End.

For the love of puppies everywhere, this play will continue and is in the works.

Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental.

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Lachapelle is an eight-time published Author with award-winning poem entries in the past and is also published in magazines and journals. She loves to impart humour in little stories. Her books and writing bio can be found here:

Lachapelle Author Website

She is also a Rec Therapist and Life Coach.