The Tea Party

A post office in a small, country town has more hustle and bustle then that of its ilk in bigger cities. These small town folk are more traditional in their communication methods. They don't care much for email and instant messaging. They want to keep some of the old ways alive and well, and that's what they do. They would see parcels sent by raven or carrier pigeon, if they could. Some things are to be preserved, almost like an elegant piece of art. This comes much to the chagrin of Allie, a young courier. It baffles her how much mail can be exchanged within such a small population, yet it pays her bills, so there's not much complaining to be had. "Allie," an older man shouts out, "is your head floating about in Wonderland again?" Allie jolts in her chair, pretending that she wasn't just dozing off, "Harold, what's the route looking like today," Allie asks as if she has any interest in her work. Harold hands Allie the route list, "here." Allie looks it over and her expression sours, "what's with the extra stops?" "Tom hasn't come back from his vacation, and no one can get a hold of him," Harold answers, "I had to split his workload again. Also, this brown paper box came in and it's not listed." "So, why are you telling me? Return to sender," Allie scoffed. "I'm telling you because it's a special delivery, Allie. It's not listed because this isn't a routine stop. Doesn't mean there's no postage on it. Why would we send it back," Harold went on. "Okay, okay. Just tell me where it's going," Allie demanded. "10 6th Street," Harold answered, "I'll write it down." Allie watched Harold write the address on the box, "the eccentric looking house all the way at the end?" "That's the one. We never had mail go to or from there, so hence the 'special delivery' talk," Howard explained. Howard went on to badger another employee, so Allie took the box and headed out. She passed by the Missing Persons board and hoped her colleague, Tom, doesn't end up there. Allie loaded the brown paper box in her van, amongst the other parcels. She got into the van and shuffled through the invoices to get them in order. It was time for her to start her day.

Allie was almost done for the day, she just had that special delivery left. She headed down 6th Street and the rows of houses stopped, leaving much space between the last house and the rest of them. It was as if the rest of the neighbourhood wished to stay away from the weird house at the end. Allie pulled up to the multi-coloured house of insane flair and went to grab the brown paper box. She made her way up the path and to the gate. As cartoonish as the house looked, it gave off an unsettling vibe. Allie opened the waist-high gate and was startled as a white rabbit ran across her path. She caught her soul as it almost left her body, "don't do that, little guy. Almost gave me a heart attack." The white rabbit seemed frantic, zigging and zagging around the yard. She figured she must have spooked the poor thing, as well. Allie proceeded up the walkway and to the porch, and she felt she was being watched. She looked around in her paranoia, to find a cat staring at her. She let out a sigh, as the cat meowed and did what looked like a smile. That's an odd cat, she thought to herself. As she was about to knock on the door, she heard a man laughing and talking around the back. Allie headed around the side of the house and to the back. She figured the owner was in the backyard, so she'd make the delivery there. In the backyard, between some hedges was a table with a tea set, and a man talking to a hare. Allie was quite taken aback with this image of certain insanity. She wanted to deliver the package and be on her way. "Ahem," she exclaimed to catch the man's attention. "Oh me, oh my, my dear hare. We have a guest," the man gleefully declared, "but shh, lest the Queen divorce your head from you shoulders." "Sir, I have a package for this address. I just need you to sign for it," Allie quickly said. She was very uncomfortable and wanted to leave. "Ooh a box? What's in the box? What's in the box," the man repeated. Allie couldn't help but let out a little snicker. "My inquiry was comedic, it seems, my dear hare," the man added. "Sorry, it was just a movie line," Allie confessed. "Ooh a movie. I do love movies. Come sit. Have tea and tell me all about this movie," the man requested as he pulls out a chair. "Um, it's not very appropriate for a tea party. Don't wanna ruin the mood," Allie said. "Very well. Some tea, at least," the man asked, "and perhaps a game of cards?" Allie felt more at ease then when she initially arrived. It went against all instincts, but she was very quickly warming up to him. Yet, the day was long and she wanted to head home, "maybe another time. Signature," she requested as she handed him a pen. The man took the pen and flung it over his shoulder, into the hedges, "ah, a slip of the hand, you see? Now please sit and have some tea." Allie was frustrated with that little act, "I'll have a quick sip, but I need that pen back asap." "Chester, my dear boy. Fetch the lady her writing toy," the man declared to the weird cat from earlier. The cat smiled and ran into the hedges. "Ah there, you see. Chester will soon set you free," the man continues to rhyme. "What kind of cat is that," Allie asks due to his ability to look as if it smiles. "Hmm, a Tabby British Shorthair, I do believe," the man pondered, "and say, what is your name?" "Allie," she answered. "Theophilus," he responded in kind. "Nice to meet you. Here's your package, by the way," Allie gave Theo the box. "Ah yes, do have a seat, while I open this gift on my--," he paused, "well, it's not my birthday, so it must be my unbirthday. Ah thank you, Allie, for joining me on this momentous occasion." Allie just smiled. Theo poured her a cup of tea and handed it to her. He began to open the box as she sipped the tea. She instantly berated herself in her mind. What if he spiked the tea, she thought to herself, yet she felt compelled to drink. She put the cup down and looked at the hare sitting across from her. She didn't know why, but she nodded in acknowledgement to the hare. Theo opened the box and was elated, "tis a tea set! How divine! The beautiful enchantress has outdone herself again." Allie really pays all of his continued insanity, no mind at this point. It bothers her that she seems to be losing all reason. "Am I going mad," she says out loud, shocking herself. "Mad as a hatter, I say," Theo says before Chester returns with the pen, "ah Chester, what is that you say? Most of us are indeed mad here? Ah yes, I have noticed that we are not all there. So, Allie, where do I sign?" Allie gives Theo the invoice, "right at the bottom--," she stops to let loose a loud shriek as a mouse walks along the table. "Oh no, that would be trouble. Trouble indeed, perhaps for us double," Theo suspiciously whispered. The mouse ran off the table as Chester chased after it, the hare following behind, as Allie jumped back. She seemed to get back to her senses, "please just sign this." Before she could give him the invoice, an elegantly dressed woman with a big head and rosy cheeks stormed out of the house, "Theophilus," she screamed. "Yes, your majesty," he responded. "Who is this child that wanders into my garden," the woman inquires. "Allie, y-your majesty. She delivered a new t-tea set for additional g-guests," Theo stutters along, "we were to have s-some more tea and play a game of c-cards." "Oh, cards you say," the woman states as she opens her mouth wide, and dislocates her jaw. A blinding light comes from her mouth and tries to consume Allie, whom was just stunned since the woman's emergence. Theo, pushes Allie out of the way, "no! Allie is my friend!" Allie backed away further as the light from the woman consumed Theo and turned him into a deck of cards, dropping to the ground. Allie screamed and started to run off, with the woman now chasing behind. Out, as if from thin air, Chester latches onto the woman's face and scratches multiple times. The woman grabs the cat from his scruff and tosses him aside. Allie got to her van and quickly starts it. Chester mounts the gate and smiles to Allie. She mouths "thank you", as the woman saunters closer, and proceeds to drive off. Allie's mind is staggered after what she just went through. How was she going to tell Harold that she didn't get a signature, she thought. Her mind couldn't comprehend what had just transpired, so she just drove off, and contemplated about her reality at work. Maybe her head was floating around Wonderland, as Harold put it.