The Tale of Alfons

It was Autumn in the Bryll forest--a most beautiful combination of time and place--which is why Alfons had chosen this particular time of year to make his way from Stadt'Val to Stadt'Har. The trees here were beyond lovely; Their silver trunks towered one hundred feet up, and, this being Autumn, their fallen leaves turned the ground at their feet into a sea of gold. As magical and full of life as this forest was, the only sign was the vague chirping of birds every so often--that is, apart from Alfons' own steps, squeaky rolling of cart wheels and the hoof clops of his...particularly large and furry traveling companion, Bartemus. He was a bull, and not just any. He was the largest anyone had ever seen! At least, the largest Alfons had ever seen. He didn't like to brag, you know.

You see, Alfons had a particular mission in Stadt'Har involving this Bartemus. Alfons had just come of marrying age, and it was custom in his land to gift strong lads like Bartemus to the farmers of Har in exchange for their daughter's hand. And oh, did Alfons have his sights set on a pretty one. She had visited Stadt'Val about two years past. He had her name: Aria Oslo, and he had a vague idea of where to find her. Perhaps it was a fool's quest. Perhaps, Gods forbid, she'd already married. But Alfons banished those nasty little thoughts from his head and just kept walking...until he noticed a figure approaching from the side of the road.

"Good day..." the man said, his voice like the hiss of a snake. He was cloaked in all black and his face was hooded.

"Good day," Alfons responded, but he did not stop. The Dark Man followed him.

"That is a fine animal," the Dark Man said. "At what price would you be willing to part with him?"

"Thank you," Alfons replied, "but he is not for sale."

"Pity," The Dark Man sighed. "Then perhaps you'd like to purchase something from me?"

"I doubt you have anything I need," Alfons laughed pompously.

The Dark Man wagged a bony finger in Alfons' face. "Oh, I wouldn't be so sure of that, lad. Headed to Har? 'Tis a long journey through Bryll yet. You will have to spend a night, maybe two, in the forest. That there beast will conjure all manner of things that want to swaller him, and you, whole!"

"Get to the point," Alfons groaned.

"I hunt monsters for a living. For a small fee, I could travel with you and keep you safe."

Alfons wasted no time thinking about it. He instead gestured to the sword hanging from his hip. "I am quite capable of fending for myself. Now go away before I use it on you!"

"Now, now!" The Dark Man threw his hands up. "No need for that, son. Say, would you at least allow me to travel with you? It is a lonely road."

"No." Alfons responded.

"Suit yourself." And with that, The Dark Man turned back to the trees.

"What a creepy man," Alfons said to Bartemus. Bartemus, being a cow, said nothing, of course.

It was not long after that another fellow traveler appeared on the road. He was headed the same direction as Alfons, only very slow. He seemed to be fidgeting with something. As Alfons approached he heard cursing and grumbling, and began to make out all manner of equipment--this man was carrying what looked to be an entire laboratory on his chest! Beakers, winding tubes filled with who-knows what, and everything was bubbling over and sputtering out all over the road.

"What on earth are you doing?" Alfons asked as they passed.

"Oh, w-well," the Scientist stuttered without looking up. "I-I-I was just attempting to concoct a most p-p-p-peculiar potion when the tiniest speck of Bryll leaf landed in my s-s-solution and...f-f-fiddlesticks! What a mess!"

Finally the scientist looked up and noticed Bartemus. "Oh my!" he cried. "What a f-f-fine specimen!" Like lightning he threw his equipment in their proper places and closed up his mobile lab. He began to circle the cart.

"What are you doing?" Alfons growled. "Get away."

"Ap-p-pologies, sir." The Scientist said. "I have been in need of a s-s-specimen of this c-caliber! B-b-but I would never dream of doing this to an animal I did not own, so--"

"Not for sale," Alfons barked. "Even if he was, I don't even want to know what you're planning to do to him."

"I only need a d-d-drop of two of blood, you s-s-see. I am attempting to c-c-concoct a most powerful healing potion--"

"I don't care what you're a-tuh-tuh-tempting to concoct!" Alfons mocked. "Get gone. Leave my bull alone."

"As you wish, sir. May I at least travel with you?"

"No!"

And with that, the Scientist slowed his pace and was eventually far enough behind that Alfons could no longer spot him.

"What a strange man," Alfons said to Bartemus. Bartemus, being a cow, said nothing, of course.

It was not long at all--almost immediately, in fact, that a third man sprang from the bushes, shouting gibberish and waving his arms. He was enormous, and I do mean enormous, nearly twice as tall as Alfons and thrice as muscular.

"Good Gods!" Alfons cried as he recoiled.

The man then let out the deepest bellowing laughter, slapped his knee and pointed at Alfons. "I got you! HA-HA!"

"Are you serious?!" Alfons was furious. "What are you thinking, terrifying a fellow traveler like that?"

"What am I thinking?" the Strong Man repeated as he caught his breath. He scratched his chin. "Uh, not much. How about you?"

"I see," Alfons sighed.

Alfons went on, and noticed the man was following him.

"Listen, I am well past being tired of company on the road. If you could kindly scram, that would be preferable."

"But why you want me to...uh...scram? Look at my muscles!" He flexed and grunted excessively. "I bet I could lift this cart and this bull like it was a feather! Ha-ha!"

"I doubt that," said Alfons. Not a moment later the rope with which he led Bartemus was yanked out of his hands. He gasped and turned to see that, indeed, the Strong Man was holding both Bartemus and the cart over his head, one in each hand.

"RAAAH!" The Strong man laughed. "Told you!"

"Put it down! Put it down!" Alfons stammered, his face ghost-white and yet somehow red with rage at once.

"Ok," The Strong Man said, shrugging, and placed a terrified Bartemus, as well as the cart, back on the road.

Alfons bent down and snatched his lead from the ground. "What are you thinking, idiot? You could've hurt my bull! You have no idea how important he is!"

"Look, bull is fine," the Strong Man insisted. "Besides, you know you're impressed!"

"The only thing I am impressed with is that the Gods could create someone without a brain that still walks and talks! Go away!"

"Say," said the Strong Man, "Is he for sale? This is just the kind of massive, heavy thing I need in order to impress at the weight competitions."

"No, he is not for sale," Alfons groaned.

"Fine. Where are you going, friend?" the Strong man asked. "Can I go too?"

"Go away, I said!" Alfons cried. Finally he drew his sword. "I'm not your friend! Away! Get gone, for the love of the Gods! Leave us be!"

And with that, the Strong Man, visibly upset, sulked back into the trees.

"What a stupid man!" Alfons said to Bartemus. Bartemus, being a cow, said nothing, of course.

It was now nearing dusk, and Alfons pulled the cart into a small clearing to make camp. Before long, the forest was pitch black beyond the light of his fire. As he cooked and ate his dinner he did not think about the odd men he had encountered, nor did he care to wonder what they were doing now. Eventually, he decided to lay his head down and sleep.

He awoke in the deep dark of the forest, just as dawn was breaking, to the sound of crunching leaves and cracking branches. His fire was fairly dim--he could barely see a few feet in front of him.

"Who's there?" He called. He was answered only by a deep growl, and glowing red eyes in the trees. Alfons stood and drew his sword, and began to shout as loud as he could, in the hopes of scaring the thing away, but it was no use. The creature stepped into the dim light of the fire--a werewolf, just as he had suspected.

"Go away!" He screamed--but you can't yell a werewolf away. Alfons simply watched in horror as the monster descended on poor Bartemus.

But the creature had only landed a single swipe of its paw when--SLICE! There went its head! The beast fell over, quite dead indeed. Alfons blinked and looked around for the culprit.

"Hhhhello," came that familiar snake-like voice from the trees. It was The Dark Man! He came into the light of the fire, wiping his sword. "I told you I hunt monsters for a living."

"And it seems you weren't lying," said Alfons.

"Seems like I was a bit too slow, I'm afraid," the Dark Man continued solemnly. "Nothing I can do about that."

"Oh, poor Bartemus," Alfons sighed, kneeling down to the beast. He could tell the bull didn't have much time left.

"I think I can h-h-help you there!" From the dark approached who else but The Scientist, with all his equipment ready to go. He knelt beside Bartemus. "If I m-m-may?"

Alfons nodded. The Scientist simply collected some blood from Bartemus' wound and added it to his mixture, which bubbled and bubbled until it transformed into a beautiful swirling golden liquid which glowed even brighter than the fire! He took this potion and poured it on Bartemus' wounds. Alfons was amazed--in an instant, he was healed.

The Scientist frowned at the sight of tired old Bartemus. "It may be a little while before your friend here can walk again."

Alfons puzzled at what he was to do. He could not keep going, nor could he return home, without his cart.

It was almost no surprise when a man twice his height and thrice as muscular came walking into the scene.

"Methinks I can help with that," he laughed. He gently hoisted Bartemus up and onto the cart, and lifted the whole thing onto his shoulders.

"I don't understand," Alfons sighed. "Why are you all helping me? I have done nothing to earn it!"

"Are you kidding?" the Dark Man laughed. "I've been following you this whole time! This area of Bryll is simply swarming with werewolves, and you don't stand a chance! You think I'd just let a fellow traveler get eaten? No, sir! Plus, this wolf head will fetch me a fine price."

"This p-p-potion," added The Scientist, "will h-h-help everyone in my village that has come down with a n-nasty p-p-plague! If anything, I owe you."

Alfons turned to the Strong Man. "And what of you? You gained nothing from me. I was nothing but rude to you."

"You were?" asked the strong man, a look of genuine confusion across his face. "Uh... if I'm being honest, I already forget every word you said! I'm just happy to have a friend! I'll carry this wherever you need, if you'll let me."

Alfons thought for a moment, then nodded. The four traveled together to Stadt'Har, giving what they could and receiving what they needed, sharing their own individual story, be it of monsters and danger, science and magic, or...lifting heavy things.

Bartemus, being a cow, said nothing, of course.