The Sweet Tale of Wretch and Zed

Immaculate genius, furor through the city; and, with much to tell, he elaborates his plan openly:

“Today, I have much to tell.”

The city ignoring his open dialogue, he decides to venture a different alternative.

“If they won’t hear me, then I shall speak louder.”

Marching back into the city, Wretch speaks through a megaphone, full-blast.

“Today, I have much to tell.”

City folk still passing by; ignoring every glimmer word that is uttered by Wretches’ glorious mouth.

Wretch becomes outraged and appalled by such disrespect, that he has mulled over, yet, another idea within his immaculate, discombobulated mind!

Storming to the closest technological store, Wretch purchases every speaker and amp that the store clerk recommends!

He quickly flounced back to the city to only see that the townspeople crowded the entire time square.

Wretches’ mind couldn’t comprehend with what was happening! He mumbled with confusion, “What’s the reason to the gathering of these various people?”

Being intrigued by such regard, he hurried over to the center of the city to see what the big commotion was being spoke about!

“DRATS!” Wretch said boldly and loudly. “This man that shimmers before these people, he is only selling bar soap?” Bewildered Wretch.

“If these people are sparked by bar soap, then I must sell shampoo and conditioner for their crown of glory!”

Hurrying to the market, Wretch purchases every shade, shape, and texture of any shampoo bottle and conditioner he could lay his speculative, little fingers on!

With much thrill and zeal, Wretch said to himself, “Now! I will be heard by these people that crowd the entirety of that ghastly time square.”

Eagerly excited to fasten and connect the amps and speakers, Wretch finds himself in all parts of time square bellowing out his new and approved product!

But, quickly, Wretch noticed that he forgot to plug-in his new and advanced equipment!

“‘These city people will now hear the voice of Wretch Knucklehead!’ ‘I will bellow out the most thrilling sound; I will sing louder than any professional orator; and, I shall speak with much glee and glamour, that not even these people will be able to ignore such fathomable and remarkable beauty.’ ‘I will be known as, ‘Wretch Brillianthead’ until the day I leave behind my dearest legacy: Here lies the man of utmost brilliance, intelligence, and never-ending, forever and always, a zealous attitude of the most highest greek god: Immaculate Wretch Brillianthead of the loser, aching, peasant little human beings, that’s finds their abode on the third planet within the milky way solar zone.’”

Being lost in his own little mind, Wretch didn’t even notice that the people, who had gathered in time square, gradually disappeared.

“Poor Wretch,” said a homeless man across the street.

Zed, who had been watching Wretch from the time he was a young lad, had grown fond of Wretch. He felt as if he had to watch over Wretch as if he was his own.

Being quick to analyze the situation, Zed hurried and grabbed Wretch by the hand and started galloping and skipping into time square!

Wretch being sorely confused asked, “What are you doing homeless man?”

Zed being full of wit responded, “You’re about to get your audience, boy!”

Wretches’ eyes opened wide, but he had no idea what to expect!

Before you knew it, Zed was out in time square pleading and begging to the people, “I’m a poor wretched man; in need of much money! Will any of you be kind to help?!” Zed pleaded with his fake tears, then quickly winked at Wretch as if it was a cue.

Wretch still confused by this facade, Zed grabbed Wretches’ hand and boisterously said, “OH SIR, 5000 dollars!? You are too kind and generous!”

Wretches’ eyebrows slightly twirled up, his smile half crooked but full of light, and his smile as bright as the starry sun itself!

Wretch boisterously said out loud, “Ole, homeless man, I will always be kind to you! But you must know that this product I sell is the reason to this sweet, blissful giving!”

Then the people suddenly and quickly gathered around to see what product Wretch was giving to the homely, homeless man.

“Shampoo and Conditioner of many shapes, size, and texture, and much more all at your disposal!”

Quickly, the people started throwing 5 dollar bills, then 10s, then 20s, then it was a downfall of 100s; then, out of a place of shadows, a business man pleaded a deal!

Wretch was so pleased that he made that old fool his business partner, and to this day Wretch and Zed have made over 1 trillion dollars in excess, with the same act they performed in that small time square!

And this is the power of true friendship, aside the fake zealous, resilient egotism of one individual, human being.