The Squirrel's Prayer
A tongue in cheek variation on "The Lord's prayer"
Our father in Heaven,
Hallowed is your name.
Your kingdom come (and not this crazy cold snow; unless of course your Kingdom is this snowy sh-tuff, to which I have to ask "why".)
Your will be done (Unless it's your will that I sit here as cold as hell trying to eat this nasty frozen bug while I try to remember where I buried a whole sh-tload of acorns just a few weeks ago)
On Earth (as in where on Earth did I bury those nuts.)
As it is in Heaven (I know I didn't bury them there, so moving forward.)
Give us this day, our daily bread, (HEY! Yeah! I can go for that too. Come on, just a few scraps of bread on this cold winter's evening. Pwease!)
And forgive us our debts (That's right, I have a lot of forgiveness coming my way, a whole lot.)
As we forgive our debtors. (You have GOT to be kidding me! Because if that's the ticket, I'm in deep sh-tuff here!)
And lead us not into temptation (you don't have to, I'm always in the thick of it.)
But deliver us from evil. (like that crazy cat that likes to chase me)
For thine is the kingdom--. (Yadda, yadda, yadda. Now, can we have a little talk about refreshing my memory as to where I buried those stupid acorns before they begin to grow into a blessed tree?)
About the Creator
Timothy E Jones
What is there to say: I live in Philadelphia, but wish I lived somewhere else, anywhere else. I write as a means to escape the harsh realities of the city and share my stories here on Vocal, even if I don't get anything for my efforts.
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Comments (3)
lol not bad! funny too!
Oh, I like this. I have a version of this prayer, too!
Very funny microfiction.