The Sound of His Voice

"Your mother's murderer?! I don't understand," the aid said as she stood even closer towards her patient. She knew the rules about getting too close to them because patients like Victoria had lost their grasp on reality. Yet she was so intrigued by this story of affairs, betrayal and murder. Victoria had been so much more than she expected when she agreed to let her record the video.

Victoria's eyes widened and a huge smile spread across her face. "I'll tell you more. It was a few years ago. I was in my studio apartment when suddenly I hear, “Victoria!” This male voice called out to me from inside of the room. I looked around but didn’t see anyone. My heart began to race and I had legit goosebumps.

“Victoria!” the voice called again, this time it sounded closer. So I got up and walked towards the window. With some obvious hesitation I peaked out of the curtain. There was nobody not even casually passing by. “Who’s there?” I called once I turned around to look back into the empty space. Silence. Nothing. I slowly stepped away from the window and I could have sworn that I saw the reflection of a man. He had blond hair but his features were indiscernible. I gasped and covered my mouth. I was paralyzed with fear. I was afraid to speak. I was afraid to even turn around. I closed my eyes as my body shook and trembled. ‘I’m going to die,’ was the first and only thought that ran through my mind.

Silence. When I finally opened my eyes again there was nothing and no one in the room. I could discern nothing but my own reflection staring back at me in the mirror. It was a mirror that I had kept hanging in the bathroom door across from the window. I'll admit, I was afraid so I ran under the thin sheet that I had on my bed and bundled myself up. It was a childish way way to seek protection but what were my options?"

Victoria paused as she felt those familiar feelings weaving their way under her skin. A tear pricked her eyes and the aid walked over and rested a hand on her head. It was against protocol. They both knew it, yet neither of them moved.

"We can stop," the aid said gently. Victoria looked up at her and gained new resolve. She wasn't doing this for herself. She was doing this to try to save the world. "I can continue." she said.

"Ok, when you are ready," the aid said and moved back behind the camera.

Victoria pulled in a deep breathe and spoke, "The bed dipped as though someone else had started to get on it. Terror. Utter terror filled me as the dip increased and I felt this pressure on my hip. It felt like a hand had rested there. The pressure didn’t move and the room chilled even more. “You are so beautiful,” this male voice whispered into my ear. I trembled with fear and hesitantly responded to the voice. “Go away, you are scaring me,” I muttered under my breath. The weight of the hand faded and the dip faded as well. The temperature in the room warmed and yet I couldn’t move. I didn't move. Eventually I fell asleep.

Though, I'll be honest I had hoped that this chance encounter with the blonde haired man was just a figment of my imagination. I was not prepared for the regular onslaught of his affections. He’d visit me every night for weeks. It would sometimes present itself as a shadow of a man in the corner of my room. Other times I would see his face reflected in my mirror. His features over time had become more discernible. He was handsome and I don't know. I guess I had begun to wonder if my mind was creating this handsome gentleman to help me cope with my crippling loneliness. I’d hear my name called throughout the night in a desperate plea. “I need you,” this discarnate voice would whisper in my ear but I only ever saw his face in the mirror.

“Who are you?” I found myself asking one night. I swear I chastised myself for asking the question. It was hard to believe that anyone would willingly speak to no one yet that was exactly what I had done. “I’ve missed you,” he said. I smiled. Can you believe it? I f'ing smiled because if I was being honest with myself I was lonely. This voice seemed to be drawn to me and I needed to feel needed. The way he said my name sent shivers down my spine. It was hard for me to understand when or how it happened but at some point I had grown accustomed to the sound of his voice. The warmth of his hand as it would rest on my hip. The cool breeze that hit my ear when he whispered into it. In those dark moments I had always been so afraid of the shadows. With him, he offered me comfort during a turbulent time and I secretly yearned for some semblance of belonging. I ached for something to make me feel whole again. He gave me that."