The social butterfly

I remember a time when I danced happily upon the winds of the honey which dripped from your charming lips.

It now seems like such a long time ago, when happy lived for a while where hearts flutter and life sings beautiful songs. Tributes we made to those places where soul mates and forever lives. Together we both said...

Always!

The winds changed course...storms began to form from angry skies...the gods of same old same...the familiar...needed a new breath to breathe.

Volcanoes erupted...bringing the fiery embers of another's embrace. Hurricanes blew through our rafters made of straw...the wolf huffed and puffed, blowing it all to hell.

Goodbyes echoed in forgotten chambered promises.

Off to time we went, charting new courses.

We met again...One year later. You suggested reunion.

No...Absolutely not. Hell....NO!

I allowed, gave myself full permission to enjoy my freedom...the joy of Effervescing in jubilation. "I am alive, bitch world which tries to break me, I will always rise...no matter what mountains you may throw at me. I will continue this stubborn, wicked little thing called life and there is nothing you can do to stop me...

Except Death of course. (Insert smiley face here)

I am celebrating the quirks and imperfections which makes me human...that gives me the ability to, love, dance, cry, fall, pick myself up, dust myself off, maybe enjoy a joke that is so belly shakingly funny, it makes me pee my pants a little. You know the kind, that which makes you surrender your tightly wound body to the wild abandon of joy.

I am human, liberated...happy to be the perfect blend of independence and non-dependence. Maybe I can fix my own leaky faucet, and open my own jar of pickles. Because, you know, 'I got me some balance'.

In life's grand theater, there are moments of expectations and non-expectations...one-sided views of partnerships or life friendships. The art of thinking the other a mind reader, where simple misunderstandings and miscalculations lead to situations which can be as fantastical as a unicorn riding a rainbow. We somehow forget that we are mere mortals, not endowed with Mystical powers.

When a partner says “I’m fine", he/she/them/they (whoever), actually means “I’m hungry, tired, and slightly annoyed because my team lost...but the other should already know that". Mind reading somehow added to the list of celestial powers.

That was our lives back then.

Oh, how I wish that I could whip up a gourmet meal with the ease of a celebrity chef. I would appreciate the friend or partner who knows that, but also be totally cool with pizza and beer on game night. Bonus points to be given if one can make a sandwich that rivals said partner's mom’s.

I can look like I just stepped off a runway, even if I'm just going to the grocery store. Or don my trusty Sweatpants. Are they the chic, Instagram-worthy kind. Well, I will let you decide...they work for me...I do not give a flying fig what anyone thinks.

BTW, what really is a flying fig.

Turns out it is actually a Spanish thing. From Fico (fig), a gesture of contempt made by placing the thumb between the first and second fingers. SOOOOO!...turns out there is another F-you sign which we have been neglecting.

"The fig sign is a mildly obscene gesture that uses a thumb wedged in between two fingers. The gesture is most commonly used to ward off the evil eye, insult someone, or deny a request. It has been used at least since the Roman Age in Southern Europe and parts of the Mediterranean region, including in Turkish culture. Some countries in Asia, Slavic cultures and South Africa use it too. It is used playfully in Northwestern Europe and North Africa. Countries such as the US, Canada, Australia, Libya, Tunisia and Czech Republic, use it to pretend to take the nose off a child.

But I digress here. A bit of chit-chat along the way to humanhood.

So Sayonara...Goodbye...Arrivederci and Heck No. I give you the Fica.

Where is it written that I should be your Emotional Rock...be a pillar of emotive stability, ready to offer sage advice and a comforting hug at a moment’s notice. To laugh at your terrible jokes and join in spontaneous dance parties at only a moment's notice.

As the Social Butterfly, I should be the life of the party, effortlessly charming everyone from your boss to your childhood friends...and be perfectly content with a quiet night in, watching your favorite action movies.

Am I not also Multi-Tasking like a Queen...Juggling a career, household chores, social life, and still somehow find the time to listen to your latest work drama. All while looking fabulous...for me, not for you.

I am definitely not 'The Tech Guru' you expect me to be, nor know how to troubleshoot your computer issues, set up the latest gadgets---still, am I not still impressed when you show a new app you discovered. As If! I am just as great at what I excel at. Did you even notice?

In reality, these expectations are as mythical as a dragon’s treasure. We are all wonderfully complex and unique individuals who defy simple categorization. Free to be who were were created to be.

I do not need to change to fit any stereotypical facade which others have written upon their blank canvas of expectations of me.

And I finally realize...I am quite happy...found...existing in my own space.

Something deeply familiar and unacceptable has changed, or maybe the fact is that nothing really has...except me.

I again feel my invisible wings fluttering.

Now, if you will excuse me...step aside please.

I need to soar!