The River: Part 3

Peeling my eyes open seemed like the hardest thing to do in life right now. I knew I had to wake up. I remembered strong, warm hands holding me, the inhuman blue sparkling eyes, and now I felt the warmth of someone that I did not know, but also did. I could feel the soft touch of a hand on my head, slowly moving my soaking wet hair from my face.

I could hear a rough but smooth whisper say, “It will all be okay.” I don’t know how I knew that voice, but I did. It felt like something that had been missing from my life. It doesn’t make any sense.

When I left New York a few weeks ago, I knew I wouldn’t be back. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to go back. I loved living on the Upper East Side in my small studio apartment. I loved being able to see Central Park from my window, but when my dad passed away a few months ago, my life was torn in two. He had been there for me my entire life. My mom left us when I was about five years old. Dad told me that she loved me, but I knew she never wanted kids. She was a Broadway dancer who loved the spotlight and also loved the men. She wasn’t the type of person to be able to live a family life, but she cared for my dad and tried her hardest. In the end, she just couldn’t handle it.

She left my dad a note that I found when I was a teenager snooping through his drawers that said, “Kyle, I am so sorry, but I tried. I really did. This just isn’t me. I really did care for you, but I am not cut out for this. Tell Sarah whatever you want, but please don’t have her contact me and please don’t come looking for me.”

My dad always told me how much she loved me, but he insisted on taking care of me while she chased her dreams. He told me one day she may come back. "We just have to hope," he would always say. He never dated or seemed to have an interest in anyone else. I think he just didn’t want to give up on the idea that she would come back. He got cancer a few years after I graduated from a private arts college. I was working at MoMA as an art curator and loved my job, but every second of my spare time was spent with my dad. I loved him more than anything, so when he passed away a few months ago, it hurt more than anything. I thought some time away would be good, and his dad was from Fort Collins, CO. He had a cabin set back off the river that was mine when my dad passed away. I thought it would be good to take a week off work and go back there. We used to go all the time, but when he got sick, we could no longer go. It had only been a few years, but it seemed like forever ago when I got there. I felt more alone than I did in my apartment in NYC. There was something deep in my gut telling me to stay. I did not know why, but the warm feeling of the man holding me felt like this was the reason.

I compelled myself to peel my eyes open. Each movement stung, and my body screamed out to me to stop, but I had to know what was going on. I had to meet this man. I opened my eyes and looked into the sparkling blue eyes. He looked into mine, and we shared a moment that was unexplainable but perfect and pure.

Something just felt right, but why?

To be continued...