The Revolution will be assisted by the next available representative
A dastardly scheme unfolds against the innocent residents of Virginia and the supply-side economics they hold so dearly within their hearts. But can one well-intentioned retail worker spare his home state from destruction?
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After falling into an industrial vat of Marxist dogma, mild-mannered, middle-of-America suburbanite Lane Wilson was transformed into…
Communistress!
Will Free Market Man, aided by his sixth sense the Invisible Hand, catch wind of this traitor in time?
All right. That’s enough exposition.
Truth is, you can only spend so much time on one automated help line after another before you realize the truth: there is no human operator behind this hold music. They only want you to believe there is, that you can’t hang up so close to finally getting help.
It’s how they keep the masses compliant, bearing depravity after depravity for the promise of a better tomorrow only one more sleep away.
How fitting that I should confront my old foe once more:
“You have reached the Department of Homeland Security. For threats against the mainland United States, press 1. For threats against Alaska—”
1
“You have selected…”
The opiated masses that Marx had once called on for his revolution didn’t even bat an eye as I walked past the grocery checkout lines, speaker phone listing off 48 states so DHS could better assist me with my threat.
Never mind that they lived in the state I would soon be wiping off the map.
Fun fact about centrally managed economies: they still require cash. My scheme was no different.
And yet, when presented with the opportunity to advance his station in the capitalist hierarchy, the orange-clad cart wrangler told me he had instead turned in the wallet I had left behind to customer service.
Very well, I concluded. Perhaps the masses aren't all beyond saving. I’ll be a bit more surgical with the opening blow.
I hung up on DHS and dialed a new number.
The same robotic voice greeted me:
“You have reached the Federal Reserve…”
About the Creator
Stephen A. Roddewig
Author of A Bloody Business and the Dick Winchester series. Proud member of the Horror Writers Association 🐦⬛
Also a reprint mercenary. And humorist. And road warrior. And Felix Salten devotee.
And a narcissist:
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Comments (3)
Oooo, this pieces together well with the one you published today! Will you be doing more with this WIP of yours?? Could make an interesting novella!
you had me at dastardly...
Oh my...have you written the winning piece? Even if it's not...this is bloody marvellous. It kinda reminds me of an even more on the nose, obnoxious Orwell type thing. Love everything about this, Stephen. Well bloody done. Will be back to handshake on Top Story.