The Prettiest Pussy

She always wants more.

She would not leave me last night. Always making me aware that she wanted to be petted. And, not just any ol' way. First, you start with gentle stroking to the right side, then the left, then you stroke straight down the middle where it's extra sensitive and a firm swat on the behind, but not too hard. Then, repeat, repeat, repeat several more times until it's just too sensitive to go on. A slight nip and it's over. If toes are cold you caress them gently to warm them before doing anything else. At certain times, the toes scrunch and get caught in the blanket at hand. Sometimes the effect lasts for hours, but sometimes a short while and it all begins, again.

This is how Tifa, my son's cat DEMANDS to be pet. She's been spoiled since she came into our home and it's just known that whatever Tifa wants, Tifa gets. We love her and she is family.

Tifa had a rough life coming into this world. She came from a family with many animals some of which were human. But, Tifa did not know what awaited her the day her "Knight in a Pink Floyd t-shirt" with his mom would show up to her rescue. And, none too soon as the baby pitbull who was no longer a baby planed to have her for lunch or as a rag doll shake the sh*t out of it rag doll toy.

It was a rescue mission as there were several kittens, dogs, birds, and cockroaches dancing all over the walls even in the clean laundry.

At first, other kittens ran up to be held. All of them were cute. A couple were all gray. But, unlike the other kittens, Tifa, saw her knight and went straight for his heart. She put all her tiny little nails right into his chest flesh. She nestled and would not, would not let go. So it was over. She was coming home to the Knights castle. The Pit Bull and other dogs were slobbering at the gate as if to say, "Hey where are all you humans going with my lunch?"

Since Tifa did not want to let go of him, the knight cajoled her into standing onto his shoulder while he drove the Sonata of love home. She stood on her tiny fours so perfectly looking onto traffic, but not nudging one single bit.

Other humans took notice of this tiny kitten on this long-haired blond knight's shoulders and smiled. She was such a sight. Her head was too big for her tiny body. She needed some food for nourishment, but she tried her best to get on. So the knight stopped at the Pet Smart store and bought over a hundred dollars of kitten stuff. He even bought kitten-style mother's milk at $7.50 for two ounces.

Tifa was famished so the knight opened the little carton and placed the milk into a pretty pink kitty bowl with a matching placemat. She licked it all clean as fast as she could. She lifted her big head with whiskers wet with mother cat's milk and thanked the knight profusely. Meowing and staring straight into his eyes. She was very happy. She looked so tiny on the carpet. Her head tilted to its side as it was too heavy for her scrawny body. Still, she had charm. She had 4 white socks two shorter ones in front and the longer ones in the back. How it should be. She had the prettiest face with a white even streak going from the middle of her head to around her mouth. Her nose was pink, but her eyes were real cat eyes. They were green with golden streaks and flecks of brown. The kind of eyes that would entice any bird.

The tip of her tail was white, her chest was covered by a pure white bib. The rest of her was black with brown stripes. Some formed the shape of "the Perfect Circle" the knight's favorite band at the time. Tifa had one huge problem she did not know to relieve herself so the knight carefully took her to indoor plumbing she wasn't accustomed to. He applied clean litter in this huge plastic box, the most expensive scent-free kind. He scratched at the litter as if he were going to use it. He took his hand and gently placed her paw in the litter. He showed her gently how to scratch. She watched him, and then she got in the box still unsure, but she gave it a try. She scratched a little and could no longer hold herself in, she peed. She peed a lot for a little kitten the size of a tennis ball.

She got sleepy so she joined her knight in his bed. The knight awakened the next morning with his hair looking like Bozo the clown's hair he had to immediately shower. Apparently, as a favor to her knight, she licked every strand of hair on his head one at a time. Many strands fell out from all the stress and never grew back. The strands were too afraid to return.

Tifa grew and grew and finally, her head was no longer bigger than her body. She would retrieve balls to the knight and leave him her precious strings to form linear lines to her food bowl. She would go out with him where ever he went. She took her place on his shoulder everywhere. People were all smiles when they saw the pretty kitten on this young man's left shoulder. And, the plus was all the pretty and not so pretty girls would find their way to come and say hello.

But, it had to stop one night as Tifa and the knight had to attend a party. The knight took extra care to make sure she had her favorite salmon pate and water dish. So when other people were drinking way too much some became interested in Tifa. One of the guys who was 4 times the size of the knight and as tall as the tallest basketball player came over and thought Tifa should drink some water so he grabbed little Tifa who was squirming and was pushing her face into her silver water dish. He attempted to press against Tifa's wishes and the knight came to her rescue. He said, "Hey, leave my cat alone. Can't you see that she doesn't want any water?" The knight's battle acumen was ready. His fists were filled with pulsating adrenaline. He was ready to punch this huge buffoon in the nose if he had to, even if this buffoon would have flattened him flat. But, it didn't have to come to that. So all was safe and sound. They returned home. All was well.

The next day, the knight bought Tifa a special gift. A little play mouse, not a real one though. Tifa was so happy she looked at the knight so adoringly and made her best effort to speak human and try to explain her heartfelt joy. So it was. Come to find she ate the whole thing. Chewed it up without anyone seeing it.

Next, a special tin of liver snaps weighing only an ounce but costing $5.00. The tin had opened the knight gave it to Tifa to enjoy, but Tifa's jaw was clamped shut. Never would she eat anything like that. No liver or big for Tifa, but a bit of bacon was okay.

Yet, another time the Knight made a mistake and made friends with Victoria and Tifa was peering out the window. Victoria was a beautiful white kitten that needed a home too. She was hungry too. The knight kindly gave some of Tifa's food to Victoria in a plastic dish. Tifa was upset. She immediately reacted with shock. Her eyes bulging and she had tears. She really did. She protested, "Don't give my food to her. That's mine." But, the knight didn't know what to do now.

He didn't know Tifa would get so insanely jealous. So we had two kittens now. Victoria was in dire straights. Somehow the heavens saw the dilemma and quickly took action.

The neighbor's niece who was a little tipsy came home and saw beautiful Victoria and was bewitched by her beauty. Kathy's motherly instincts came out as she longed for a baby for years. Now, Victoria was the next best thing. So she took Victoria home to her aunt who had a free caged parrot, bunny, and a whole slew of animals. The aunt threw Kathy out along with Victoria. But Kathy quickly found a place so everything turned out okay.

Tifa, on the other hand, didn't care what happened to Victoria. "Good riddance" and with a shake of her back paws she motioned "Good Bye!"

Tifa ignored the knight for a good hour. She was so hurt. But, she forgave him quickly when he gently cajoled her to come to sit on his lap and he would pet the pussy exactly the way she liked. Any other movement and she'd nip but not bite.

So years went by and Tifa decided to leave when the Pizza Delivery guy dropped off the pizza and out the door, she went.

Trouble is Tifa wanted to get out but didn't know where to go. So she went to the neighbors at the farthest end of the hall. They opened the door to her and let her in. They didn't know that Tifa had gone out of her mind. She began speaking this witchy weird language. She hissed and batted at them. She ran under their bed.

They didn't know what to do so they knocked on the knight's door first, who had just come home to find Tifa gone. He went to get Tifa, but Tifa displayed her multiple personalities. None of which were nice at all. More hisses! More noises came from under the bed. It sound as if the Mortal Kombat characters were beating up on some witches. But, the brave knight talked to her slowly and quietly. Tifa turned quiet. Then he put his arm out to her slowly and she shredded his skin better than a grater. So the knight left her and spoke with the couple. He decided to get his and Tifa's favorite comforter and get her. But, Tifa needed to simmer down a bit. Within a half-hour, the knight had reached for Tifa with the comforter and brought her back home.

Tifa was wild with fear. She had not recognized her knight because of her tears and glassy eyes. He spoke gently to her as she arched her back. He said, "Tifa, Tifa it's me don't you recognize me. It's okay." Well, somehow Tifa regained her senses. She awakened from her trance as if she came out of a drug-induced state. She collapsed in her knight's arms and he carried her around like a baby.

She has never run away again.

Currently, she has lost most of her teeth, can't eat dry cat food any longer, doesn't do zoomies much. She likes to cuddle more than ever and she now enjoys half a piece of bacon, but it has to be cut up into tiny little bits. She also likes a nacho Dorito now and then and every once in a while 1 Mc Donald's fry.

She loves to watch the birds outside as they tease her out the sliding glass window, but the knight likes the birds, too so he won't allow Tifa to go harm them. The birds know this so they dance in front of her right by the knight's outside chair. It's hilarious to watch.

As it is getting colder outside and even snowy, Tifa wants to go outside as she did in the Summer months, so she gets her way only to beg the knight to open the door so she can get inside while he finishes smoking his doobie or siggy.

Since Tifa has the run of the house, we now employ food service to meet Tifa's needs and tastes. What is so cute about it all, is that she recognizes her can's of food and will show her appreciation by rolling around at the knight's feet. Now, and then, she is allowed to get high on her premium "Wowie Howie Organic Cat Nip." Tifa lives the good life.