Fiction logo

The Plank - micro

Saturday 17th August, Story #230/366. I have done a longer version of this for the Overboard challenge. The story outline is much the same, so if you'd like to enjoy the longer version properly, I recommend skipping this one. Or reading the longer one first to avoid spoilers 😁 I have a couple of questions for you in the author's note at the end.

By L.C. SchäferPublished about a year ago Updated about a year ago 3 min read
The Plank - micro
Photo by Kameron Kincade on Unsplash

Sunshine cast a golden hue over the ship. Captain Jake's stance was starched by salt and pride, yet fluid to match the sway of the deck.

For a fleeting moment, he was no seasoned sailor, battle-scarred and wily. Only a smooth-cheeked boy, gazing at the horizon.

Scowling, he set his jaw. A man doesn't waste time on such things!

"Captain!" The voice broke his reverie.

“Yes, Calder?”

“ They say it’s time for a change in leadership."

Jake kept his eyes on the horizon. "Gather the crew," he said. Calder nodded and moved away.

At the railing, Jake stared into the faces of his brothers, feeling betrayal's sting.

“You dare to plot behind my back?” His voice lacked a fearless boom.

“We’re tired of scrounging for scraps," Calder said. "There's loot out there. We want a Captain who'll lead us to it.”

Nostrils flaring, Jake breathed slow to steady his bruised heart.

Finn leaned close to Calder, whispering. Calder barked, "Seize him!"

Jake lifted his blade, but it was useless against so many. They're my brothers! His hand faltered. I don't have a pirate's ruthless heart.

"I'm Captain!" he yelled, writhing with Fat Harry's sat on his back.

"Tie his wrists!"

Jake's grizzled exterior dissolved in the breeze, leaving him small and weak.

Calder shoved him towards the Plank. Jake remembered his disdain at how others snivelled and scraped along it. The cheers when they went over, the smile stretching his own mouth.

Now, fear sharpened his gaze onto the far end of it. It looked higher from here. Scarier. It felt wobbly and rough under his feet.

"You'll pay for this!"

"Shut up and walk, Jacob," Calder jumped on the far end, sending Jacob sprawling, face-first, into the dirt. Tears stung. He hid his face against the ground for a moment, stilling a sob.

"Jakey's crying!" Calder squawked.

Staggering to his feet, Jacob heard it: "Jaaaaaaacob! Tea's ready!"

Max Calder nodded at Paul Grayson, who stepped forward, a flick knife in his hand, to cut the cable-tie, nicking Jacob's wrist.

"Run home to mummy," Max hissed. "Tomorrow, I'm Captain."

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Word count excluding title, subtitle, and authors notes: 366

Submitted on Saturday 17th August at 16:07AM

A Year of Stories: I'm writing a story every day this year. This one continues my 230 day streak since 1st January.

Please consider lending your support to the other creators on this madcap "a story every day" adventure. They're putting out excellent content every day!

Rachel Deeming

Gerard DiLeo

Please leave me a comment: Still avoiding first person! And still kicking myself, wondering if I'm being stupid, and that perspective would work better! Let me know what you think? And if you do read both versions, please tell me which you think works better?

Thank you

Especially if you are one of the wonderful people who has been staunchly reading these daily scribbles since the start of the year. I see you, and appreciate you very much indeed!

If you enjoyed this one, the very best compliment you can give me is to share it, or read another!

Here's an oldie:

If you'd prefer a wanky poem: dig⋅ni⋅ty

A recent Top Story:

My look back at July:

My reflections on the recent nonet challenge:

Here's my current Dollar Challenge:

And now for something completely different:

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Thank you again!

AdventureShort StoryYoung AdultMicrofiction

About the Creator

L.C. Schäfer

Book babies on Kindle Unlimited:

Glass Dolls

Summer Leaves (grab it while it's gorgeous)

Never so naked as I am on a page

Subscribe for n00dz

I'm not a writer! I've just had too much coffee!

X

Insta

Facebook

Threads

Sometimes writes under S.E.Holz

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insight

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

Add your insights

Comments (7)

Sign in to comment
  • Testabout a year ago

    I think this POV was perfect! You don't need first person to create a good story and this one is fabulous!! I think the third person POV is nice because it gives us as readers that step back to see everything and still feel sucked into the action!! Great work LC!!

  • I'm not a fan of first person POV. Because then I tend to forget the MC's name. I laughed at Jake then felt sorry for him, lol

  • Sonia Heidi Unruhabout a year ago

    think the pacing works better in the longer story, because there's more space to let the plot twist wind up. We also get additional significant information about the characters, such as Calder, which move him from run of the mill bully to Lord of the Flies territory. But in other respects I prefer the leanness of the micro version. More of the details are left to our imagination, and all the verbs and adjectives that made the cut have more significance. But both versions adeptly make the point: whoever thinks the world would be a better place if kids were in charge never set foot in a playground.

  • Cathy holmesabout a year ago

    I should have read this first. Because I read the longer one, I feel there's stuff missing. I know I would not have felt that way had I chosen this one first. Also, I think the third person works great for this story. I also think it would work just as well in first.

  • Lana V Lynxabout a year ago

    Came here after the longer challenge entry. I liked them both and they work well from the 3rd person perspective. Besides, who says you can’t write the same story from the first person perspective?

  • John Coxabout a year ago

    My own preference is 1st person. It narrows the perspective shared with the reader and makes it easier to really jolt with the twist. The only time I use the omniscient perspective is when I want the reader to see what the protagonist cannot. Although I enjoy dramatic irony, in the real world we are trapped in our own perspective. The biggest problem with 1st person is the unreliable narrator. Readers will sometimes miss the point unless it is spelled out for them. In other words, the omniscient narrator is more reader friendly. But still ….

  • Cindy Calderabout a year ago

    I like the micro version of this story just as much as the longer one. Well done.

Find us on social media

Miscellaneous links

  • Explore
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Use
  • Support

© 2026 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.