The Paradox Epiphany

A short story by Shaun Cooper.

A Paradoxical Epiphany

I've decided to think of a story. If I could hold a pen to paper I would write it down. Or if I could manipulate a typewriter or one of those computers but alas that is not the case so I will just tell myself this over and over until it's like I have memorized a story. Why? Well, lack of much else to do and reflection I suppose.Twenty years ago this was fun. I used to travel all over the world. I can remember standing in the Pope's study at The Vatican, I've stood in The Lincoln Bedroom and watched The commander-in-chief work in The Oval Office. I have even watched The Queen study her own aging body from her private bathroom in Buckingham Palace. These days are not the same. It never occurred to me the importance of human connection. That's not true. I knew, of course, it was important, just I thought it was not so important for me. I feel like I'm losing my mind. It's not just that no human being can see me is the problem. I think that I no longer have any ambition. Why would I? I CAN HAVE ANYTHING I WANT! No that's not true, is it? I want to be seen and heard. I can't ever get that back.When I landed the job at the lab it was… well I guess it was my dream realized. Is it not funny that dreams can turn into nightmares? Twenty fucking years I have been invisible. That is not a metaphor, I am invisible. No one can see me and not like in the movies either. I cannot be heard, I do not eat, I cannot touch or feel anything. I do not sleep. I simply am.It is not with me though that my thoughts are occupied. It's him. It would not be true and right to even consider him a friend I guess. He never knew me, never saw me. Never even knew existed. And yet I loved him dearly. What a shining beacon of a human being. So damn funny So talented. I am getting ahead of myself here.I'm not sure what brought me there, It was during the time I call the great wandering. It was somewhere on the backside of the 80s. I remember it was summer and a lovely evening and I would even venture to say on that particular night was a cool breeze and the smell of the ocean.Of course, maybe I am romanticizing as the truth of course was I could not feel the breeze or smell the ocean but that's how I remember it anyway. It was Venice California and I was simply strolling along as I do and taking in the sights and sounds of the people at that time. There were jugglers, singers, joke tellers, screaming preachers, beautiful girls, and muscle-bound strongmen. Venice Beach in the 80s was quite a sight and what it was then is gone now. Things always change and that makes me sad. On this night though it seemed quiet and peaceful and in the distance, I heard the most beautiful piano music playing. It drew me, It called me. I followed the sound. I approached the source of this enchanting melody. It was coming from the inside of a restaurant. A sign out front read 72 Market Street Oyster Bar and Grill. As I entered this charming place I could see that it was not only I who was enchanted by this music but everyone's eyes were locked on the man at the center of the room under the spotlight and though every table was full of food and drink it all went untouched and people seemed to be transfixed on not only the music but the man himself. This seemed a bit of magic and I decided this is where I shall be for now and just see where this all goes. He played that song for a bit more and I thought to myself here is a genius, what I would not give to make music such as this. He must be some great concert pianist visiting from perhaps England or France I thought. Then just when I thought my heart would swell to a level of emotion that I simply wasn't sure I wanted to feel... he stopped. The room erupted in applause and he smiled, stood, and took a little bow. He said “Oh Thank you very very much” He spoke in an English accent and I am not sure why It surprised me but he was very short, maybe just 5 feet tall or a bit more. I guess it surprised me because something about his presence was so large and commanding. Just then someone shouted, “play the Arthur song!”He said, “what's that?” He smiled “oh these people don’t want to hear the old stuff do you?”Oh please, Dud” someone screamed. Dud… who the hell is this person I thought.The restaurant erupted in applause again and he said “Alright alright keep your trousers on!”Everyone howled with laughter and this struck me as interesting. It just seemed this human being could not help but be funny. I could tell that people simply loved this man and I decided right then and there that I would spend some time around this human being. Then he sat back down and said, “Arthur has a particularly terrific theme” his voice was so friendly and for lack of vocabulary to describe was sweet and pleasing to the ear. He went on, “Very melodious and haunting I think, and it was sung by Christopher Cross who made a rather meteoric rise to fame with his album in America, he won five Grammy awards with a spectacular album, which I love and the rest of the world love and we are very lucky to have him here in the audience tonight”!!!Just then another man stood up and approached the stage during thunderous applause. “Dud” satback down at the piano and this man Christopher took a chair with a microphone. And I'll never forget the lyrics to this song which went like this. “Once in your life, you find her, someone who turns your heart around. Next thing you know your closing down the town. Wake up and it's still with you. Even though you left her way across town. Wondering to yourself, Hey! What have I Found? When you get caught between the moon and New York City, I know it's crazy but it's true. If you get caught between the moon and New York City, The best that you can do, the best that you can do is fall in love.” Now, of course, my words won't be able to capture this moment but it was beautiful and heartwarming and I suppose it affected me deeply. And just then it came to my realization this was the theme song for the film “Arthur” starring Dudley Moore. Oh my lord, this is a movie star I am watching tonight. This talented piano player is in fact, Dudley Moore!!!!!After that night I stayed with Dudley and it was magnificent. He was so witty and funny and kind to everyone he met and I was just in awe of this person who seemed forged out of light and goodness. I traveled with him to interviews such as Oprah and Joan Rivers and movie sets such as Arthur 2 on the Rocks and Crazy People, Like father like Son, and other projects he did.However whatever films and Tv shows he did his passion was always music and the piano...always the piano. That time was so thrilling and amazing. I loved to watch this person work and I admit to being starstruck by the company he kept. He was fantastic and amazing in all these roles and I was flabbergasted to enjoy his talent and wit for those years. Things always change. There came a time I started to notice something about Dudley. He did not seem quite himself. It seemed more difficult for him to grab a thought when in the previous years his brain was razor-sharp. Suddenly that blade had dulled and at first, just occasionally he would lose his balance. I of course felt completely helpless. I could not communicate to him my worry or concern as he could not hear me and he did not know I was even there. He continued to work but it was a growing concern between himself, friends and family, and even those professionals like his agents and managers. Then he was having trouble remembering lines and was fired from a very big motion picture called The Mirror Has Two Faces. They believed that Dudley was drinking and this was the most devastating thing that ever happened to this kind, sweet and talented man. This was the point that Dud realized he was sick. He went to Doctor after Doctorand for a few years could not get a diagnosis. Around this time I watched it become more and more difficult for this genius to play his beloved piano any longer. He braved on so courageously and came to understand that what he was suffering from was called PSP or Progressive

supranuclear palsy (PSP) is a degenerative disease involving the gradual deterioration and death of specific volumes of the brain. The condition leads to symptoms including loss of balance, slowing of movement, difficulty moving the eyes, and dementia. Eventually, Dudleycreated a charity to help find a cure for PSP and also bring music to those in hospitals and prisons, until the very end he was the most decent and kind man I had ever had the pleasure of knowing. There was one more breathtaking and beautiful moment though at the near end of this brilliant man's life. In June 2001, Moore was named a Commander of the British Empire, an honor bestowed upon him by the Prince of Wales. He was at the time unable to speak and in a wheelchair but I do believe he was happy and very proud. Then I am very heartbroken to say but he died on the morning of 27 March 2002 as a result of pneumonia, secondary to immobility caused by the palsy, in Plainfield, New Jersey, at the age of 66. That morning he started to breathe very strangely. I walked near to my very best friend in this world and listened to him. He said “I know you are here and guess what? I can hear the music all around me” and then he was gone. I was standing there with the shell of a once vibrant and talented concert pianist and movie star. I held my hand in his and said “Dudley I love you” “May Your Beautiful Soul rest in peace. I stayed there until the whole awful thing was over and the coroner finally took his body away. I Stood in his home for hours and considered how this is possible for a man like this to die of a disease that ravages the body of this kind of talent. I wondered if God is real then why would he let this happen. And finally, I moved on. I began another chapter of the great wondering. A few months later I happened across a store selling Tvs and a news story being played on those TVs.“Respected Scientist committed to a mental institution, the news anchor said. This was my old boss at the lab!!!! In a mental home, I thought? I found the address of this Physiatry hospital and traveled there with the utmost haste. I simply knew that I needed to know why he was there. I Found his room with not much trouble as I can usually go where I want and can figure things out very fast these days. I entered his room and he was not there. However, writing was all over the wall. Many Many letters addressed “Dear Sam” “Dear Sam” “Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“DearSam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“DearSam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“DearSam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam”“Dear Sam” and the words that followed shook me to the core. Because that is my name. It is my name. I am sam. I know you must have gone into the particle accelerator. I know this because you were very curious and you simply disappeared. Sam if my thoughts and calculations are correct you now are invisible and must resemble a ghost.PLEASE AROUND ANY HUMAN YOUR PROXIMITY WILL DAMAGE THEIR CELLS AND BRAIN!!!!! IT IS A SIDE EFFECT OR CAUSE OF THE RADIATION YOU MAY KILL SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!!This thought came racing into my mind as if it was a freight train. I could not breathe or move or think. I would kill myself if I could.I have murdered Dudley Moore.

The End.

By SC.