The Office that never was...Spec Script

TEASER

EXT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - DAY

The parking lot is empty save for one car that is in the parking lot. It is quiet. The sun has been up for about an hour. It is a beautiful morning. A SILVER CAR pulls into the parking lot and moves into a parking spot near the door. Seconds later, a BLUE CAR pulls into the parking lot and moves into the spot RIGHT NEXT to the silver car. Out of the silver car comes OSCAR MARTINEZ. He is dressed casually, carrying his briefcase. He nods TO THE CAMERA. He looks over to the blue car and we see...KEVIN MALONE stepping out of the blue car. He is DRESSED IN SWEATS. Not casual at all. He doesn't carry a briefcase, but does carry a stack of papers with him. He ALMOST DROPS them, but saves it and then looks proud of himself.

OSCAR - "Good morning, Kevin."

KEVIN - "Morning."

EXT. TALKING HEAD - KEVIN AND OSCAR

They stand outside of the building talking to the camera.

KEVIN - "We're here on a Sunday."

OSCAR - "Us accountants were going to have to stay late every night this week in order to get our finances caught up before the end of the quarter and sent to corporate, but instead, we decided to come in on Sunday."

KEVIN - "I'm wearing sweat pants...at work."

Oscar looks down at Kevin's pants and then back up to the camera. He shakes his head.

EXT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - MORNING

They begin walking to the front doors but stop. Kevin points at the car in the parking lot.

KEVIN - "I thought you said Angela wasn't going to be here?"

OSCAR - "She told me yesterday that she wasn't." (to camera) "That's Angela's car."

KEVIN - "She's probably upstairs."

OSCAR - "That's strange."

Oscar and Kevin walk into the building. The camera turns BACK to Angela's stranded car.

CUT TO:

EXT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - NIGHT - FLASHBACK

We cut to the night before, no need for subtitles. We'll just figure it out.

THE CAMERA SHOT IS HIDDEN BEHIND TREES PEAKING OUT as ANGELA is STANDING outside of her car waiting for something. She looks at her watch and looks very frustrated as only Angela can be. Her car is parked in the spot where Oscar and Kevin find it. A RED CORVETTE speeds up and pulls next to Angela. She looks relieved but still angry throwing her arms up in the air. DWIGHT SCHRUTE is driving the car. He reaches over and opens the passenger door.

ANGELA - "What took you so long?"

DWIGHT - "I'm sorry. Paintball ran long."

Angela gets into the car furious

ANGELA - "Ew, you're covered in paint."

DWIGHT - "Not for long."

Dwight reaches over and tries to flirt with her, pinching her.

ANGELA - "No, stop it! Not yet!"

Angela closes the door and Dwight GUNS it and the car speeds away.

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN OFFICE - MORNING

Oscar and Kevin both walk into the office. Oscar looks over as they are walking in.

OSCAR - "See. She's not here."

They walk around the corner and now have a view of the ENTIRE OFFICE. There are a dozen people in the office wearing ALL BLACK. Almost pajama like outfits. There are a few white people, some black, some Asian, some men, some women. And then...CREED BRATTON is standing in front of all of them. He turns around and sees Oscar and Kevin looking like WHAT THE HELL? But they say nothing. They stare unable to move or blink.

CREED -(to Oscar and Kevin) "Oh, hey guys."

Oscar can't speak and Kevin can only "uhhh." Creed turns back to the group and puts his hands up in the air and then bows dramatically. The group does THE EXACT SAME THING.

CREED - "I'll see you guys tonight."

The group starts to disperse. As EACH PERSON passes Creed, they hand him a twenty dollar bill. He nods at each person. SOON...the room is empty except for Oscar and Kevin and Creed.

They stand there staring at Creed still as he begins to count the money. He smiles wide and then puts the money in his pocket. He nods to Oscar and Kevin. He walks by them as...

OSCAR - "Everything alright, Creed?"

CREED - "All good, my brother."

KEVIN - "Creed?"

Creed stops and turns back to them.

KEVIN - "Is that a cult?"

CREED - "A cult? Oh my. No. That's a good one, Calvin."

Kevin isn't sure if he heard Creed right, but is pretty sure he did. Calvin?

CREED - "See you Tuesday."

Creed walks out of the office and the door closes behind him. Oscar and Kevin have no idea what to say.

CUT TO:

EXT. TALKING HEAD - CREED BRATTON

Creed is outside the building talking to the camera.

CREED - "Yeah. It's a cult. I was promoted today. Worth the pay."

Creed holds up all the money that he was just given.

END OF TEASER

ACT ONE

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - DAY

EVERYONE is already at the office working. DWIGHT sits at his desk on the phone, PHYLLIS sits behind him writing on some papers, and STANLEY sits across from her doing NOTHING. Reading magazines, killing time.

CREED is at his desk snacking and MEREDITH is across from him. She is on the computer looking like she is actually working, but who really knows.

FROM OUT OF THE BREAK ROOM comes PAM. She carries a mug of tea and looks around the office. SOMETHING is different. Something is missing. She looks at the entire office floor and smiles - but it isn't a happy smile it is a I'M STUCK smile. I'm all alone now. She walks around the desks and then passes and old friend's desk.

JIM HALPERT's desk is no empty. She looks at it and that same lonely smile crawls across her face. She puts her hand on his chair. She attempts to push it in so that the others around her don't know that she simply wanted to put her hand on it. It was in that very spot where her and Jim kissed just days ago.

She gets to her desk and SITS DOWN in her chair. She stairs at the door. Jim isn't coming in, but for a second she thinks he is.

PAM (V.O.) - "So, Jim transferred to the Stamford branch and today is his first day. It's going to be weird. Yeah, I'm going to miss him."

She looks back at his desk. She lives in that long moment of a stare.

INT. TALKING HEAD - PAM

PAM - "Jim made this place a little more fun, yeah. He was a really good friend, but I'm sure this will give me another opportunity to become close to somebody else in the office. Maybe like Angela...or Dwight...or Creed...or maybe Michael will hire somebody new and I'll become friends with that person..."

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - DAY

Dwight is working at his desk and looks over to Jim's empty desk. Unlike Pam, the look on his face is overflowing with JOY AND HAPPINESS and the smile curls up his face as wide as a clown's painted mouth.

INT. TALKING HEAD - DWIGHT

DWIGHT - "Jim is gone. I won. Fact. He tried to beat me. He tried to humiliate me. He tried to defeat me. He could not."

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - DAY - FLASHBACK

DWIGHT AND JIM stand in the office. It is 5 o'clock and people are starting to filter out. WE DO NOT HEAR WHAT THEY ARE SAYING. Jim reaches out and waits for Dwight to shake his hand.

DWIGHT (V.O.) - "However...If I know Jim, and I do, I cannot let my guard down. I will not let my guard down."

Dwight slowly reaches out and takes Jim's hand. Jim is smiling and clearly being pleasant in his goodbye, but Dwight is so unsure of it still. He stares at Jim as if this is all one big trick.

DWIGHT (V.O.) - "Jim Halpert will be beaten. He will be beaten by me."

INT. TALKING HEAD - OSCAR

OSCAR - "So, Jim is gone now. This makes me a little queasy when I think about the quantity logical thinking people remaining in the office. At some point Michael is going to screw up catastrophically and Dwight is going to accidentally shoot somebody with a crossbow and Creed is going to get lost again going from his desk to the bathroom and Jim was somebody that could help. Now there's Pam and Toby, on a good month, and...Maybe I should transfer."

INT. TALKING HEAD - MICHAEL

MICHAEL SCOTT is sitting in his office at his desk. He looks sad and a little angry.

MICHAEL - "A long time ago, my old boss hired an employee that ended up being his best friend. Sure, they wouldn't hang out or talk, but Ed Truck was a dick. Anyway, that employee was me. And years later, I hired an employee that ended up being my best friend. And we actually did talk and hang out...at work. That employee was Jim Halpert. And now he is gone. Like the wind that leaves the open window."

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - DAY

Michael walking around the office. He stops AND LOOKS AT Jim's desk. He takes a deep breath and then looks around the rest of the people in the office and nods in satisfaction.

MICHAEL (V.O.) - "But the office must go on. It is time to replace Jim Halpert...unless Jim eventually comes back, then he'll be my best friend again."

INT. MICHAEL SCOTT'S OFFICE - DAY

Michael is sitting at his desk. There is A KNOCK KNOCK on the door.

MICHAEL - "Come in."

RYAN HOWARD, the temp, comes into the office and looks nervous. Not about what he is going to hear, but everyone is nervous to walk into Michael's office and have a private conversation with him.

RYAN - "You wanted to see me?"

MICHAEL - "Ryan. Sit down for me, please."

Ryan takes a seat and Michael STARES at him awkwardly. Ryan waits, not sure he needs to make the first move...

MICHAEL - "Ryan, as you know, we lost a very valuable employee last week in one Jim Halpert."

RYAN - "Yes."

MICHAEL - "Which means I also am looking for someone to take Jim's place...you know, as my best friend."

Ryan looks at the camera not wanting to say anything in response to that.

MICHAEL - "Unfortunately, with Jim leaving, it doesn't leave any open positions for a temp."

RYAN - "Okay..."

MICHAEL - "I'm sorry, Ryan. I'm going to have to let you go. You no longer work here. You have been fired. Goodbye."

RYAN - "You're kidding."

MICHAEL - "I am not."

Ryan GLANCES at the camera again and then back at Michael. He is trying to put two and two together, but Michael makes no sense.

RYAN - "Michael..."

HAHAHA Michael bursts out laughing and once again hits someone with a fake firing.

MICHAEL - "You should have seen your face. You really thought you were fired."

RYAN - "I didn't know what to think."

MICHAEL - (stopping his laughter) - "No. You didn't - I'd like to offer you a promotion, Ryan. You are now a junior salesman here at Dunder Mifflin."

RYAN - "That's great. I won't let you down."

MICHAEL - "I know you won't."

Ryan stands up and shakes Michael's hand. Michael DOESN'T LET GO.

MICHAEL - "I am also still looking for a new best friend."

Ryan looks at his hand being CLUTCHED by Michael.

RYAN - "Thank you for the job."

MICHAEL - "Okay? Okay."

Michael lets go of his hand. Ryan QUICKLY gets out of the office while he can.

MICHAEL - "I'll win him over like I won Jim. I win them all. I win them all over."

EXT. TALKING HEAD - JIM

Jim is standing outside of a brand new building. Dunder Mifflin Stamford, Connecticut.

JIM - "Well, I did it. I transferred. It was time for me to start new. And here we go. A brand new start. A brand new town."

He looks up at the building and then thinks the facts over.

JIM (not so thrilled) - "Same company...same sales job."

INT. STAMFORD BUILDING ELEVATOR - DAY

Jim stands in the elevator waiting for it to rise up to his floor.

JIM (V.O.) - "If it is anything like the old place, this will be great. I'll have a boss that acts like a ten-year-old. A desk mate that drives me crazy and I'll see the receptionist and...she'll be the next one that has me transferring somewhere else."

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY STAMFORD LOBBY - DAY

Jim walks into the office and sees that the receptionist is a man, DANIEL. Daniel is a young guy. Fashionable. He looks up to Jim and smiles.

DANIEL - "You must be Jim."

JIM- "I am."

DANIEL - "Josh is expecting you. I'll buzz him."

JIM - "Thanks."

Daniel picks up the phone and buzzes back to Josh.Jim looks at Daniel and isn't getting those same feelings when he saw Pam.

JIM (to camera) - "I think I'm in love."

JOSH, the manager of Dunder Mifflin Stamford, walks up to Jim with a big smile and a firm handshake.

JOSH - "Jim."

JIM - "Hey, Josh."

JOSH - "Good to see you again. You ready? I'll show you around."

INT. DUNNER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY STAMFORD - CONTINUOUS

Josh and Jim are walking through the office talking nothing important. They are smiling and Jim seems comfortable already. Josh and Jim clearly have met before the transfer. MARTIN AND TONY are standing off to the side and smile to the both of them and greet them.

JOSH - "That is Martin and Tony. And you'll get to know everybody else throughout the day, but here are a couple of our salespeople."

They walk up to a man and a woman.

This is ANDY BERNARD and KAREN FILIPPELLI. Salespeople. Andy is preppy and douchey and Karen is pretty and sophisticated.

JOSH - "Andy Bernard this is Jim Halpert. Andy is our Director of Sales."

JIM - "Good to meet you, Andy."

Jim reaches out his hand, but Andy stops him.

ANDY (struggling to speak at first) - "Ah, wait! I do nicknames. Nicknames is my thing."

JIM - "Okay."

Jim waits for another second and when Andy doesn't shake his hand, he lowers his.

ANDY - "Shorty J. Cause your tall and it's an opposite thing."

JIM (moving head side to side) - "I mean...sure."

Andy can see he doesn't like it.

ANDY - "Not a fan of the ironic? Okay, Tall...Tall Jimbo. Jimbo T."

JOSH (interrupting) - "And over here..."

Josh steps aside Andy and Jim nods to him. They walk away

ANDY (still to Jim) - "Tall Jumbo. Jumbo Jim. It'll come to me!"

JOSH - "This is Karen Filippelli."

Karen is the first to initiate the handshake. She is pretty normal as far as we can tell.

KAREN - "Hi."

JIM - "Hi. Nice to meet you."

KAREN - "You too... "(looking at the camera) "What's with..."

JOSH (glances at the camera) - "That is a good question."

CUT TO:

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY STAMFORD CONFERENCE ROOM -

CONTINUOUS

Josh has gathered everyone into the conference room. Jim sits off to the side next to Karen. WE DON'T INITIALLY SEE WHO IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF JIM, BUT THEN...Andy leans INTO THE PICTURE AND CLOSE TO JIM'S FACE.

ANDY - "They call me the Nard Dog."

JIM - "Who does? They do?"

Jim motions to the rest of the office.

ANDY - "No, my old acapella group."

JIM - "Oh, okay. I'm not going to call you that."

ANDY (annoyed, but hiding it...not well) "That's fine. I know. J Dog."

JIM - "No."

Josh clears his throat and begins the meeting.

JOSH - "So, I just wanted to quickly discuss the elephant in the room...the cameras!"

The people in the office start looking around at all of the cameras.

JOSH FADES OFF...we don't hear him speaking. We see Jim look around at his new coworkers and smiles...but that smile FADES SLOWLY. He doesn't see a best friend in Pam. He doesn't see somebody he can mess with like Dwight.

Josh was a good boss...but not somebody that would make coming to work interesting. He's got a new start, but we don't see him expressing it as a start he wants.

INT. MICHAEL SCOTT'S OFFICE - DAY

Michael is sitting at his desk looking at a picture of Jim. He looks so sad as if his child has JUST GONE OFF TO COLLEGE.

KNOCK KNOCK. PAM ENTERS.

PAM - "Michael."

Michael tucks the picture under his desk QUICKLY.

MICHAEL - "What is it?"

PAM - "Is that..."

Pam looks at the camera and then smirks.

MICHAEL - "What is it, Pam?"

PAM - "There is a call on line one."

MICHAEL - "Is it Jim?"

PAM - "What? No!"

MICHAEL - "It's fine, Pam!"

PAM - "He said his name is Mitch and he is from the Lackawanna Times."

MICHAEL - "The Times? Okay! Good! Go! Go!"

Michael SHOOS Pam out of the room. He takes a deep breath and then picks up the phone.

MICHAEL- "This is Michael Scott, how may I service you?"

MITCH (V.O.) - "Uhhh."

Mitch is clearly weirded out by the "service you."

CUT TO:

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - CONTINUOUS

Michael STEPS OUT OF HIS OFFICE and into the company of his workers. They are all hard at work and not paying attention to Michael.

Michael has THE CHEESIEST BIGGEST SMILE on his face. He looks around the office, but nobody is noticing him. Pam is watching him, but AS SOON as Michael looks at her, SHE LOOKS AWAY and pretended to never see him.

MICHAEL (announcing) - "Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?"

STANLEY - "Is this important?"

MICHAEL - "Isn't it always?"

STANLEY - "No, it is not."

TOBY FLENDERSON, the HR rep, comes into the office from the break room. Michael THROWS HIS FINGER up at him.

MICHAEL - "No! No! This is a good news moment and I don't want you ruining what is potentially the greatest moment in my life."

Toby stops in his tracks and can see Michael is already over the moon and carried away with some ridiculous idea. Toby NODS his head and then LEAVES.

STANLEY (quietly to Toby) - "Can I come with?"

MICHAEL - "Stanley the manley, you are going to want to hear this.?

PAM - "Michael, what's going on?"

MICHAEL - "That is a great question, Pam. Where do I begin?"

PAM - "At the end."

ANGELA - "With whatever the announcement is."

OSCAR - "We are very busy, Michael, just spit it out."

Michael is SUPER ANNOYED with his coworkers and WANTS them to WANT to hear his announcement. He can't hold it in any longer, even though he is doing them a favor.

MICHAEL (shouting) - "I am the Lackawanna County Man of the Year, baby!"

PAM - "Did you make that up?"

MICHAEL - "No."

KEVIN - "Did you pay somebody to get it?"

MICHAEL - "Did you pay somebody for a pizza?"

KEVIN (confused) "Uhh...yeah, I have."

MICHAEL - "I know. I can see it in your face."

Kevin looks at the other workers and doesn't understand the insult.

PAM - "Michael, just slow down. Get to the point and tell us."

MICHAEL - "Do you remember a little charity event that I hosted?"

PHYLLIS - "Casino Night?"

DWIGHT - "Casino Night."

MICHAEL - "Well, it was a Casino Night and we raised a lot of money for the Boy Scouts of Lackawanna and because of that night, they were able to qualify for...something, I don't know, but apparently because of my donation."

PHYLLIS - "Our donations."

MICHAEL - "And your donations, the people of Lackawanna have voted me as the Lackawanna County Man of the Year!"

INT. TALKING HEAD - PHYLLIS

PHYLLIS - "You know, Bob Vance was nominated for that award, too, and he should have won. Just last night, we role played that he won it and that I had to...accept the award for him."

INT. TALKING HEAD - OSCAR

OSCAR - "It makes me sad to think that a man like Michael Scott can with a man of the year award. Even in a small town like this...and sad doesn't begin to describe it. Depressed is closer. Suicidal might be too far...but it's close."

INT. TALKING HEAD - ANGELA

ANGELA - "I don't do charity for the awards. It is cruel and rude and selfish. I do charity for the recognition that I am a better person than most."

INT. TALKING HEAD - MICHAEL

MICHAEL - "Did you see the looks on their faces? Like...like they knew that I deserved it. I feel like Brad Pitt when he won the MVP at the Oscars."

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - DAY

The place has turned from an office into a party. There are snacks and drinks and music and everyone is standing around talking.

INT. TALKING HEAD - PAM

PAM - "Michael finds any excuse to throw a party for the office. A birthday, an engagement, the 05/05/05 party is still talked about to this day. We once had a party on a Thursday because Michael couldn't remember the last time we'd thrown a party on a Thursday. So, when he wants to have a party, the PPC can get it together pretty quickly."

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - CONTINUOUS

Michael is sitting down talking to Oscar, Kevin, and Ryan. They all sip from cups. Kevin SNACKS on a cookie. Michael is looking SO PROUD but everyone else seems to just be treating it like a normal random stupid Michael Scott party. There is no enthusiasm.

MICHAEL - "Can you believe it?"

RYAN (serious) - "No."

OSCAR - "I honestly cannot."

MICHAEL - "I know. It's unbelievable. And I only have myself to thank, I guess. And all of you. And myself."

KEVIN - "Do you win anything?"

MICHAEL - "Kevin, listen. Follow along, big guy. I won Lackawanna Man of the Year."

Kevin nods as if he didn't know...but he knew. He looks at Oscar and Ryan and then back to Michael.

KEVIN - " Do you win a prize? Or money?"

MICHAEL (proudly) - "A plaque. A plaque with my picture on it."

KEVIN (not impressed) - "Cool."

MICHAEL - "Yeah. We've got to find a spot to hang it up. Where all of our clients will see. This could change us, guys."

OSCAR - "Not if we don't let it."

MICHAEL - "That's right. We're still the same old Dunder Mifflin...managed by the Man of the Year."

PAM SITS AT HER DESK. She is having no fun. She doesn't have her best friend around anymore. She stands up and SNEAKS OUT OF THE OFFICE.

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Pam walks into the warehouse and down the stairs. She sees ROY, her fiance and warehouse worker, talking to his boss and friend, DARRYL. Pam smiles and walks up to them. They are messing around and not working at all.

PAM - "Hey!"

ROY - "Hey, we just heard about the Man of the Year."

DARRYL - "Yeah, is he already a nightmare? I can't imagine how bad it is up there right now."

PAM - "He's already designed his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame."

They laugh. Roy ALWAYS acts like he is one of the boys instead of Pam's fiance.

PAM - "Will you come up and keep me company? We can joke around. Maybe pull a prank on Dwight?"

ROY - "No, babe, we were just talking. If Michael is going to be distracted by this, we are finishing up one last order and going to go hit Poor Richard's."

PAM - "Can't you do that later?"

ROY - "Are you kidding? Skip out on work? Come on, we never get to do that. Come with us."

PAM - "No, I'm not doing that, Roy. I'm not leaving."

Darryl feels a little uncomfortable and starts to slither away. He NODS at Pam, though. He's a nice guy, just does his own thing.

ROY - "Come on, he's an ass and he is going to make this day awful for everyone."

PAM - "Look, just go to your bar with your friends."

ROY - "Yeah? Thanks, babe."

Roy leans in and kisses Pam's CHEEK. She wanted nothing to do with a mouth to mouth kiss.

PAM - "We're still on for a movie tonight?"

ROY - "Oh..."

Roy looks over at the warehouse guys. They are joking around at each others' expense and laughing about it. To Roy, it is the most fun-looking thing in the world.

ROY - "We were actually going to catch a game tonight. Darryl's cousin can get us tickets for like half the price."

PAM - "Are you serious? We were going to watch '28 Days.'"

ROY (grossed out) - "Come on, Pam, can't you watch that with your girlfriends or something?"

PAM (sarcastic) - "I could watch it all alone by myself."

ROY (not taking the hint) - "See, that would be awesome! I knew you'd understand. You're the best. Love you, babe."

Roy RUNS OFF to join his friends leaving his fiance there PISSED. A side of Pam that we don't normally see. She's growing a backbone.

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - DAY

The PARTY IS STILL GOING ON. Michael is ALL KINDS OF PROUD OF HIMSELF and going above and beyond for people to notice how great of a man he is. The one person EATING IT UP is Dwight. Dwight is clapping and chanting how great Michael is.

MICHAEL - "Okay...okay." (now annoyed) "Stop it."

Dwight stops and his smile disappears...but then he smiles and back away. Dwight NOTICES a voicemail on his phone. He gets to his desk and sits in his chair.

VWOOP! The lock on his chair is busted and his seat drops to the lowest level. Dwight panics and GRABS ON as if his life flashed before his eyes.

DWIGHT (scared and angry) - "Damn it, Jim!"

He cuts himself off. He notices Jim's desk is empty. LUCKILY, the music was loud and the talking was loud and nobody heard that he yelled at Jim. Dwight stares at the empty desk and begins thinking...He stops himself and shakes his head. His thoughts are running a muck. He shuffles some papers on his desk and then looks for his stapler. IT'S GONE.

DWIGHT (quietly) - "No, no, no, no."

He opens his desk drawer but it isn't there. He looks at Jim's desk and then SHOOTS UP. He starts pulling open Jim's old drawers and throwing everything out of the drawer's onto the floor.

The rest of the office people start backing up and hollering at him.

DWIGHT - "I know you have it!"

Dwight keeps looking. He steps back and stares at the desk. He has COMPLETELY LOST IT.

PHYLLIS - "Dwight, what are you doing!?"

DWIGHT - "He's doing it. He's still here!"

MICHAEL - "Will you sit down and shut up, you crazy?!"

DWIGHT (to Michael) - "He hasn't really transferred, has he? Where is he? Are you hiding him?"

MICHAEL (staring at a moron) - "You...are an idiot."

Dwight doesn't know how to react. He's still suspicious. MEREDITH walks up to Dwight's desk and drops a stapler onto it.

MEREDITH - "Thanks again, kid."

Dwight watches her put it down and walk away. He thinks back and remembers. He starts NODDING.

DWIGHT - "Riiiiiiight."

INT. TALKING HEAD - DWIGHT

DWIGHT - "If Jim wanted to get me, it would make sense that he would make up a fake transfer to another branch."

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - CONTINUOUS

Dwight sits back down at his desk and then looks down at his notes. Written on a piece of paper is "10. 9. 13."

DWIGHT (V.O.) - "He'd wait for me to get comfortable in my new "post-Jim" life and then when I least expect it, he'd attack...granted it's only been a day."

Dwight starts SCRIBBLING all over a piece of paper. He starts a conversation chart. He starts writing "A=1, B=2, C=3" etc. When all the letters are written down, he circles number 10, which is the letter J. He circles number 9, which is the letter I. And finally, he circles the number 13, which is the letter M.

He writes in all capitol letters nice and big on the paper...

"JIM"

Dwight looks terrified, as if he has seen a ghost. His head slowly lifts.

DWIGHT - "My God..."

DELIVERY MAN (O.S.) - "Excuse me."

A DELIVERY MAN ENTERS the office and Pam acknowledges him.

PAM - "Can I help you?"

DELIVERY MAN - "I have a delivery for a Michael Scott."

Everyone in the office stops. Michael stares at the man... this is it...his award. He can't move. He DOESN'T BLINK. He doesn't say anything. He just stares. He is in awe...of himself.

PAM - "You can leave it here. Thank you."

The man hands Pam a small square-shaped box and THEN LEAVES. Pam holds it and STARES AT MICHAEL.

PAM - "Should I open it?"

MICHAEL - "No. I'll do the pleasure."

PAM (understands what he means, but slowly) - "Okay."

Pam sets it down on her desk and waits for Michael to come get it. NOTHING HAPPENS. Michael still DOESN'T MOVE.

MICHAEL - "I'm frozen by my amazement."

PAM (annoyed) - "Okay."

She picks the package back open and tears open the box. She pulls out A PLAQUE. It is his award alright. WE DON'T SEE WHAT IT IS. Pam looks at it. She looks serious...but something about her reaction...she's TRYING TO HIDE something.

PAM (hiding a grin) - "Wow...wow."

MICHAEL - "It's amazing?"

PAM - "I...I love it."

Pam stands up and walks slowly to Michael.

PAM - "Congratulations, Michael."

Pam hands Michael the plaque. He looks at it and his joy in life DISAPPEARS INSTANTLY.

WE SEE THE PLAQUE.

It DOES say "Lackawanna Man of the Year - Michael Scott."

But...somebody sent in the wrong picture...the picture is of...

TOBY FLENDERSON!!!

Michael turns his head slowly to face Toby. Toby doesn't know why. He stares back confused.

MICHAEL - "You...son of a..."

CUT TO BLACK:

END OF ACT TWO

ACT THREE

EXT. TALKING HEAD - JIM - DAY

Jim stands in front of the Stamford building off in the parking lot.

JIM - "Well, the first day has been...Interesting. Met a lot of nice people, including a few...first impressions are hard, I'll just say. But Josh thought it would be good to go out on a sales call to get familiar with the area. So, I'm about to spend the afternoon...

ANDY (O.S.) (yelling) "Camera Guy! Hey, Camera Guy! Camera Jim!"

Jim looks back at Andy who is yelling like a lunatic. Andy LAUGHS AT HIMSELF and points his fingers at Jim.

ANDY - "I'll get it! Trust me!"

Jim shakes his head looking into the camera.

INT. DWIGHT SCHRUTE'S CAR - DAY

Dwight drives in his car FAST. He is focused on getting somewhere and getting there soon.

DWIGHT - "I am convinced that Jim Halpert still works at Dunder Mifflin Scranton and that he is deceiving me."

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN BREAK ROOM - DAY - FLASHBACK

Kevin is in the break room. He reaches into the fridge and pulls out a gallon of milk.

DWIGHT (V.O.) - "After I decoded his secret message implying that Jim was still in the office, I went to Toby to get the truth, but Jim must have paid him off because Toby lied to me, too. Said Jim really did transfer."

Kevin makes sure that nobody else is around or can see him. He takes a huge drink from the gallon and SPILLS a lot of it down his face, down his shirt, and onto the floor. He puts the gallon back and then RUNS into the bathroom to clean off.

DWIGHT (V.O.) - "But on my way back to my desk from the Annex..."

Dwight walks into the break room and past the fridge. He slips on the milk and SLAMS onto his ass and back.

DWIGHT (V.O.) - "I slipped in a giant puddle of milk. This is juvenile even for somebody like Jim."

INT. DWIGHT SCHRUTE'S CAR - CONTINUOUS

DWIGHT - "So, I'm on my way to Stamford and I'm going to get there and prove to myself and to everyone else that Jim does not work there. He's trying to mess with my head...but I've never been clearer. Never."

INT. MICHAEL SCOTT'S OFFICE - DAY

Michael is on the phone in his office. He is PACING around and NOT HAPPY.

MICHAEL - "No, I don't care who you spoke to at Dunder Mifflin, you clearly put the wrong picture onto my award. That's not me."

Michael STARES at the plaque on his desk in disgust.

MICHAEL - "Oh, you're sorry? How many Man of the Year awards have you won? Zero? That's one less than I have! One less! I am the Lackawanna Man of the Year! Yes, I want another one! And don't call me again until you have it! Yes...okay...please call back to confirm I receive the new one."

Michael hangs up the phone. He SITS at his desk and picks up a picture and a pair of scissors. HE CUTS around the face. He is cutting out his own face. He starts to TAPE IT onto Toby's face on the plaque.

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY - CONTINUOUS

Pam sits at her desk and watches Michael having a full blown panic attack over the award. CAROL, Michael's girlfriend comes into the office. She looks concerned...but not really. She knows this is all ridiculous.

CAROL - "How is he?"

PAM - "He's...not happy."

Carol peaks into the office and shakes her head. She KNOWS this is ridiculous.

PAM - "How are you?"

CAROL - "Ask me again in ten minutes."

Carol goes inside Michael's office. WE WATCH WITH PAM from outside. Carol stops and Michael stands up. He holds the plaque up and HE IS SO UPSET. Angry. He's saying something. He waits quietly as Carol responds. Then Michael SETS THE PLAQUE down on his desk and smiles. He starts to laugh and walks over to Carol. He shakes his head. It is like all of it melted away. The anger, the jealousy. It all went away. He knew it was silly. He hugs and then kisses her.

Pam looks down. She is no longer thinking about Michael, but her own relationship.

INT. TALKING HEAD - PAM

PAM - "I'm not happy. There, I said it. Michael was so angry, but when he saw Carol...he didn't care. He loves her. Granted it's Michael Scott and he's been dating Carol for like three hours, but still. I don't feel that...And I'm done not being happy. I've been engaged for three years and I don't care that my wedding...No, you know what. I'm not happy. There is something I need to do. Excuse me."

Pam gets up from the chair and walks out of the room.

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY STAMFORD - DAY

It is coming to the end of the day and the Stamford office is starting to empty. DWIGHT RUNS into the office and past the receptionist. He stands in the office and looks around. People that work there stare at him and have no idea who he is or what he is doing.

Dwight smiles

DWIGHT (to camera) - "I knew it. I won. I knew it!"

Jim and Andy walk into the office from behind Dwight.

JIM - "Dwight?"

Dwight turns around and sees Jim. Now Dwight looks DEJECTED.

JIM - "What are you doing here?"

Dwight's shoulder sink low.

DWIGHT - "Damn it."

Dwight walks out. Jim looks at the camera confused as hell.

END OF ACT THREE

TAG

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN PAPER COMPANY STAMFORD - BREAK ROOM -

DAY

Jim is sitting all by himself. He starts pulling his lunch out of his sack and CRACKS open a Grape Soda. He takes a sandwich out of a bag and takes a big biteof it.

ANDY (O.S.) - "Big Tuna! That's it! I got you, Big Tuna! Big Tuna! "

Jim stops eating and looks as if he just heard the WORST nickname he's ever heard in his life. And he knows, from what he knows of Andy, that this WILL NEVER GO AWAY. He swallows his bite and then looks off into the camera.

END OF EPISODE