The Mystery of The Heart

Lani plopped all her books on the couch and released a loud grunt of frustration. Running her fingers through her short strands of hair, she walked to the refrigerator. Staring into its yellow light and barely filled cabinets, she wondered why she ever moved out. Grumbling, she took the tub of vanilla ice cream.

She jumped when a loud noise, akin to a scream, filled the room. She turned and glared at the little flurry of green behind the cage, frowning at the judgmental eyes her bird gave her.

“I have studies, and worked hard all day, Matcha! I deserve this.”

She sighed and shut the door, sauntering back to the couch, where just some of her many problems lay scattered where she had left them. Late on rent. Late with studies. She picked up her books and put them on the table.

Flipping through the pages, her headache worsened. Not only was she behind on her studies, but she had barely passed the last exam, and the next one was already upcoming in a week. Her phone buzzed and she did the mistake of checking it. Ten missed notifications in text messages?

She clicked on them, and as they all appeared, she rolled her eyes.

‘Where are you?’

‘Why aren’t you answering?’

She grew annoyed, as she realized it was all Lucas. She cleared the notifications and turned off the phone, deciding to ignore him for now. He was an entire problem by himself, something she didn’t have the brain capacity to think about right now. Mom would know.

She needed… she needed some ice cream. Upon popping off the lid, she couldn’t stop the growl that escaped her. Only one spoonful? She couldn’t even blame her little brother anymore, as she was the only one in this little apartment.

Lani sighed again, laying her head back against the couch. She missed her family. Her mother’s advice was something she really needed right now, with Lucas, with her anxiety. Her older sister could help her pass these tests for sure. Lani had always been a little envious of how smart she was.

If only she had some time, and her part time job serving grouchy people their coffees could buy her a plane ticket. But rent scraped her wallet dry, and her studies gave her no time for extra money or time off.

She realized she was going down a spiral and wasn’t going to be able to study at all, so she got up, looking at the fading light outside. Perhaps a walk would clear her head. At least, that’s what people said, right?

She got up, grabbed her sweatshirt, and opened the door of her apartment, breathing in the spice of fall air. A shadow flickered over the doorway, and she looked up to the darkening sky. A little black bird hovered close above the ground—no, it was blinking. Carrying a package. A drone?

She stepped away as it lowered, so that it placed the package on her doormat. “Huh? I didn’t order anything.” Especially not something expensive enough to be sent by a drone… and then she realized how dumb her muddled mind had made her. She almost smiled, her cheeks heating like someone might have seen her moment of embarrassment. This was a prank, someone was clearly pranking her.

She sighed and knelt down, picking up the package. It was just a regular box, sealed perfectly like it had been shipped from Amazon. But there was no address or information. Simply a sticker that read:

‘Wonder what’s in the box? Make a wish!’

She smirked, raising her voice. “That’s cheesy,” she said, hoping that whoever had brought this to her would hear. After all, someone had to be watching and bringing it to her doorstep intentionally. The drone lifted itself off the ground and veered away. She followed it, but it just hovered higher, until it became a dot, and zoomed over the rooves. Strange…

She shrugged and looked down at her box again. She shook it, trying to guess what could be in there. But as it made no noise, it didn’t feel empty either.

A stupid thought overcame her, the kind that made her feel embarrassed again just for thinking it. But somehow, she couldn’t help but think about what she would find in this box if it were one with her wish in it.

“Ugh,” she moaned with the drama of a play. “I don’t have time for this!”

Her head began to pound again. She already knew she was probably out of Tylenol. Oh how she wanted something to soothe her headache, something that actually worked. She dropped the package. She stopped upon the sound of rattling… like pills. She looked down, to where the noise had come from.

The box.

She picked it up again and shook it. She grew excited when she heard that same rattling again. Maybe she could have her relief!

But before she reached to tear the tape away from the box she stopped herself. If this really was some magic box, was headache relief really what she was going to wish for? If, of course, this was real.

Tugging at the tape, she wondered what instead she could think of, but decided she would need some time and went inside to test this bizarre idea.

The possibilities became endless. Images formed in her head and weighed the box as she thought of a new pair of shoes, and then she dropped the box when the weight of diamonds became real.

She gasped as it fell to the floor. Then she snatched it up and sat on the couch, suddenly not so worried about the sight of books or the empty ice cream tub. She could have all the ice cream she wanted with just a wish! Even better, she could have plane tickets! Or…she found herself pulling at the tape when she thought of her degree. Something money could not buy.

She stifled a yawn, deciding then that she was probably way too tired to be making such a crazy decision. She laughed a little to herself, wondering how she had become so lucky—she, a loser in high school and always the odd duck in friend groups—and why anyone would so freely drop off a box like this?

But instead of sleeping, Lani only thought of the warm blanket she could have, and then as sleepiness dragged on, her ideas became more whimsical. Could she wish for something that did not exist? She could become a famous inventor of an eternal ice cream maker!

She turned over on her side, and gasped as she realized she’d either fallen asleep or, more likely according to her heavy lids, been awake all night. It was already 5:30, and she needed to be up in 20.

She glared at her alarm, not wanting it to ever go off…not wanting to go to work. If only she could wish for better coworkers and another boss.

But then, why should she go to work at all? She reached out and before she’d fully justified the action, she turned off the alarm. With her little box, she didn’t need to go in and face her rude manager that made her work way too hard for minimum wage. Just because she was nice enough.

She grinned wickedly, opening her mouth wide to release a satisfied yawn before shutting her eyes and drifting off to dreams instead.

When she woke up, she didn’t go to her empty refrigerator, but decided she could go out for breakfast. She thought of showing up with the newest iPhone when going grocery shopping later, smirking as she thought of the look on Daphne’s face if she would see. Her classmate had inserted herself into the nearest grocery outlet, and Lani just about had enough of her showing up literally everywhere just to brag about her better life. That would show that self-absorbed b…

She danced around happily, swinging her keys along as she fed Matcha and then took off in her car. The gas read a quarter full, but somehow that didn’t stress her at all this time.

****

That night, Lani almost stumbled under the weight of her shopping bags as she fumbled for her house keys. She giggled as she thought of having a butler open the door for her. She’d hit up several different malls after her grocery trip, and was now happy and exhausted.

She put down all her bags and sighed. Her eyes rested on the messy couch and her stomach turned. The phone in her pocket buzzed. She’d ignored it every time all day, and she continued to do so as she threw it on the couch. She looked away and turned her attention instead towards the box that still sat on the kitchen floor.

She suddenly realized how dumb she had been. Someone could have stolen it, or something could have happened! She needed a safe place for her treasure. Until she knew exactly what she was going to wish for, it needed to be hidden and locked away.

Her first thought had her carrying it to the bedroom, and she looked underneath her twin bed. She growled as she stared at the boxes she hadn’t unpacked yet since she’d moved away. Not feeling like going through old pictures and diplomas and prom clothes, she decided to move it to her closet. She nodded in approval as she found a little more space there. Then, with an excited squeak, she remembered her clothing and danced off into the hallway to unpack and be surprised by every little thing she had tried to forget.

****

Lani felt like she was on vacation. A vacation from life and its stupid worries. She showed up to class but stopped caring and stressing about her exams. Instead, she went out to all the parties she’d never had time to go. Truth be told, that was the only reason she felt like going to class, to hear about the latest gossip and whose house the fun would be at.

She was finally living like she should. “Oh, hey, Lani!”

She turned, her brown hair swishing from her face to reveal Lucas.

“Hi, Lucas. What’s up?”

“Well, I was going to say I’d have time to pick you up on that study…day.”

She pursed her lips. “Study? Aw come on, that’s boring. Debra has a party at her house later, and she’s got kittens!”

Lucas nodded. When he didn’t say anything further, Lani continued walking. She heard him as he followed. “Why haven’t you been answering my calls?”

“Lucas, we talked about this. You don’t give me any space to breathe, you call me way too much, and we’re not even—”

“We actually haven’t.” He moved in front of her, his eyes pleading. “Talked about it. Could we? I realize that I’ve been not much more than a bother of late, when you’ve had studies, and I should respect that. You’re a hard worker. That’s why I thought we could study together.”

Lani bit her lip, glancing to the side.

“Listen,” he said. “I was thinking, well, my place is currently preoccupied, my room mates are throwing their cousins a goodbye party, and I don’t really need to be there. So maybe, after class, we could go to your place?”

Lani thought about the box. About her messy house. He just said he thought her a hard worker. He would clearly not believe that anymore when he would see how much she had been slacking on everything. She didn’t really want to go back and talk. Talk about what, anyway? She didn’t feel like fixing this issue with Lucas, after all, she could be having fun. She could have whatever she wanted. “I don’t know Lucas. I don’t really have—”

“Time? That’s what you always say. But Lani—”

“Hey Lanes, see you later at 8:30?”

Lani nodded at Debra. “Sure thing!”

She returned Lucas’s gaze, which were cast to the side, slowly meeting hers as Debra left.

“You sure you don’t have some time?” he pled again.

“Maybe I just don’t want to!” Lani said, rolling her eyes. She realized she didn’t have to be a pushover. Not anymore. She didn’t have to bend to what others wanted. “We talk but I don’t wanna talk. It never fixes anything.”

“Come on Lani, we can at least—”

“Look, I already made plans today, ok? Maybe tomorrow night.”

“You’re going to Mary’s house tomorrow, aren’t you?” he asked solemnly.

Lani stopped herself from pretending to have forgotten, and instead nodded. “Yeah.”

Lucas raised his eyebrows and shrugged. “Well. See you in class, I guess.”

He moved past her. Lani huffed, turning around. “Yeah.”

She shook her head and walked down the hall. She didn’t need all this drama, especially when she had a box waiting at home, waiting to give her everything her heart desired.

***

One day when Lani came home, she decided that it was the day. The day that she would decide what to wish for.

She picked up the box. “I wish…” her voice trailed off, as she looked around the room, trying to think of the one thing she wanted most.

And then she put down the box. Was she really the one that should have this? She cringed, wondering what her dad would say if she wished for something dumb. Her mom would surely have a good answer. And then she realized—this was a one-time thing. She had to be careful.

It was one choice. Heat rushed to her face. It couldn’t make all her problems go away. It could bring her just one thing.

And then her breath returned. She laughed a little, sighing away her quick moment of panic. After all, she could have what she wanted most.

She bit her lip and looked into her body mirror that was propped by the doorway of her bedroom. Twirling a short piece of her brown hair, she waited for the one thing to pop up in her mind. The right answer.

Lani kept staring. Somehow, during this past week, so much had happened…but was any of it what she really wanted? She’d quit her job but had no money. She’d stopped studying and now she was behind in her classes.

And she still didn’t have what she wanted. In fact, she had less than before.

The panic returned. This time, with the quickening earthquake of her heart.

Realizing what she’d done to herself, the hole she’d dug herself in by living in a fantasy, she knew she had to make it real. Now.

She gripped the box and stared at the label, the edges lifted as they no longer stuck due to the many times she’d thought she had the answer.

“Alright Lani, think. What do you really, really want?” She had half a mind to just rip off that brown tape and reveal to herself what it was. But that was stupid, what if whatever she’d last been thinking of would be the result? What if nothing at all would show because…because she couldn’t make up her mind?

“Come on, come on! Make a wish!” Her mind spun so much, she wasn’t even able to form one thought correctly. She let go of the box with one hand, bringing her fingers to her chest as she gasped for breath.

“Lani you stupid girl, you can finally have what you want! Why can’t you just say what you want?”

Her swelling eyes finally burst with the stinging hot liquid that brought nightmarish headaches. But she couldn’t stop the tears. How many days had it been? She looked at her phone, trying to remember the date, but gasped when she saw the many missed calls and notifications. Lucas! Her gut wrenched, knowing he’d been trying to figure it out with her, and she’d just dissed him. She couldn’t even remember if she’d finished any of her assignments, and her rent was waiting to be paid.

“Oh God!” she exclaimed, running her hand through her hair. “I’m in so much trouble. I’m—I’m ruined! All because of you!”

She glared at her face, appalled by the puffy redness that was her skin, streaked with tears. She lowered her gaze to the box in her hands. “No. It was you.”

She sniffed and stood up shakily. She already knew now, she could never make a wish. What she wanted was perhaps always going to be a mystery to her. But one thing was made clear to her, clear as day. She’d always questioned why anyone in their right mind would give away such a gift, but now…it made so much sense.

“I’m sorry, I’m no better than you. I don’t know what I want either. I hope—I hope the next person does.”