The Middle Man

Do you understand why you are here today Mr Dynamite?

We want you to start at the beginning and tell us why we found you at the wrong side of the border and how it has gotten you to where you are today.

Right, yes, I will start at the beginning.. But as my solicitor stated I am being held here against my will and the reason I am here is due to the restrictions based on this point in time as the world is today.

I will begin by telling you I was born in London and have been cut off from my family long ago due to adoption when my father was executed. I am here as you need my knowledge of current , past and present events that led me to this point in the present day.

Obviously you know who I am or would not be here…

To begin I have reached this point due to a series of events one being that my grandfather ahead of his time created a blueprint in 1939 for terraforming a planet you now call Baca. It began during WW2 my grandparents were in the holocaust and victims of ethnic cleansing only one surv

My grandmother was eventually freed by the US troops from Auschwitz in 1945 & sadly many of my family did not make it. My grandparents managed to hide one son with a kind family before being captured in the Netherlands which is why I am here today. She survived the holocaust and eventually moved to a small village in Northern England.

She eventually reunited with her son, my father.. Before being captured the Nazis found the blueprint my grandfather had created and stole the information. The Nazis were eventually defeated but many fled to various locations including Argentina and had many supporters throughout the world. Russia possessed the body of Hitler himself and a lot of data was hidden and still exists today as well as hiding Nazi gold and art which was stolen.

The scientists were then taken by the USA and used to get ahead on the first trip to space, a conflict the US has always held with Russia on beating them to it. Operation paperclip is what I am referring to… How this ties me in is pre Nazi Germany my grandfather was working on the concept of terraformation the ability to inhabit another planet. The fact that it was stolen from him and placed into the wrong hands led to significant events in which eventually an apocalypse was caused due to a virus and a nuclear bomb was set off which wiped out a vast majority of the remaining citizens of the world.

Prior to this the government had set up a campaign to convince people to research their heritage by submitting a DNA swab. This was a ruse which was then collected by insurance companies to use this information negatively to deny people healthcare and future bloodlines if they posed a risk with predispositions to disease. The ruling class was then given an option after significant testing to move to the new planet at an extortionate cost. Leaving the poor behind… Anyway you know all of this otherwise why would I be here?

Are we to believe that you are telling the truth?

Well yes what reason would I have left to lie after all everything I have known and loved is no more.

Are you in contact with your grandfather at all?

Well no, He died as you know in the holocaust.

As you are aware the operation for Baca has failed and the blueprint used has created the planet inhabitable, Only a certain amount of people were able to flee. And what we are concerned about is that perhaps you were able to gain contact with your grandfather through some form of dark magic plus gain knowledge of the true blueprint for the Baca plan & know the knowledge that we were missing, In which we have arrested you as we have found that prior to the apocalypse you were associated with the Anti fascist movement and have been associated with known activist organisations.

Well yes I am unsure how any of this is relevant to me as I have been living in known squalor in a post apocalypse and as you know I was adopted at the age of 5 after my fathers execution.

We believe you have in fact been able to converse with your grandfather and are known to possess medium abilities. Therefore you were aware of this Baca operation failing as was your father

Well assuming I possess this ability would in fact admit that magic exists?

We are wanting you to not deflect from the current question and please answer if you have in fact been able to converse with your grandfather? Please answer the question

Well I mean. Yes or no?.

We have evidence that your bloodline dating back centuries has the ability to foresee the future and communicate with the dead. Beyond scientific evidence it has stemmed back centuries in your family on your fathers side. We have the power to connect your bloodline to significant points in history and your great grandmother was a known medium in Berlin in her time

So you are saying magic really does in fact exist?

Well we know this to be true so whether or not you are following along let us spell it out to you we are going to put you under a series of tests with our doctors here and get you to crack whether you like it or not.

Bring it…

Ok then DS Marshall Adams bring in the doctors and transfer Mr Dynamite to another room with the facilities to test.

Hang on, wait.. Whether I believe this to be true or not, surely you can answer my question..

Does Magic in fact exist?

We are ensuring you that we know who you are and what you are able to do Mr Dynamite. We will now try and run a series of tests on your abilities please change behind the screen and put on the gown provided then lie down on the table.

I am unsure how any of this is relevant however go ahead….

Ok now that you are hooked up to our machine. Please tell us have you ever spoken to your grandfather beyond the grave?

Well no…..

But what I could tell you is that you have significant mother issues and a hankering for mock cream buns since the apocalypse. Is that just basic deductions though? like who doesn't miss cream buns?

Please sir answer the questions in a formal manner with a yes or no answer Have you or your family ever knowingly hid the real blueprint and in fact know of its whereabouts? We will now move you to phase 2 of this interrogation and transfer you to the next room.

Now as we sit here around a round table here in this candle lit room with a known medium assisting. We ask you if you have in fact contacted your grandfather beyond the grave??

Candle flickering in the light…Yeah sure my grandfather is here and wants you all to know he thinks you are all bastards.

Please take this seriously…

Ok fine Constable your grandmother's favourite colour was purple and she wants you to stop hassling me and check in on your mother since the Baca to earth flee.

Ah what?

Yeah as I said mate, your grandma Dorothy she wants you to check in on your mum who has had trouble with diabetes prior to the apocalypse but due to you being in the police force you were able to still take her to Baca and flee leaving earth behind. That and the boy you slept with in college feels the same way about you as you do him. Oh lastly your golden retriever truly did have an empire of tennis balls hidden beneath the house

Interesting… although anybody could have generalized these things

You are the ones telling me I can commune with the dead!!

Ok we will be moving you to a cell and will reconvene tomorrow at 9 am

Back in my cell in a gown with nothing inside but a plastic covered mattress on the floor I am thrown in with the door locked. I lie staring at the ceiling wondering about my friends back in the industrial estate we squatted and whether or not they are ok. Hours pass and I begin to drift off to sleep, awoken by a hypnic jolt I rub my eyes as a light surrounds the left corner of the room.

I wonder if this is all the acid I've ever taken, finally catching up with me as I steer my gaze to the corner I see a man wearing very old clothes… Dagon I am you grandfather we don't have much time but I need you to know that you must not tell these people anything

WTF am I seeing a ghost!?? Yes you are but please pay attention.. The true blueprint I created is buried in the Grunewald forest beneath a tree. It is placed inside a heart shaped locket your great grandmother gave to me and to get it you must escape and head there. I have sent rattus to give you the potion with a piece of chalk that you need to get out of here, around his neck is a key and a bottle inside the small bottle is a map you will need with the coordinates to locate the locket. Act now and do not let the bastards get you down. I foresaw this happening and everything will make sense once you receive the map and locate the locket. Ok but are you sure

I am not crazy you are really here?

The ghost disappeared and I felt the blearing light through the window shine in my room.. A few hours drift by and I am unsure if I really just experienced what happened. I hear a pitter patter of feet and see a strange brown furry outline trying to squish under the door this some real fear and loathing shit… eventually a rat turns up after squashing himself under the door he lets out a squeak as he squeezes through the crack...and sure enough he has a bottle and a key tied around his neck,

What in the fuck? Listen Pal you have to get the fuck out of here and fast he says as he grows in size to a larger formed rat in a 3 piece suit. Take this bottle and the chalk and draw a door on the wall over there, Hurry he says whiskers twitching, I glance briefly at his beady little eyes and wonder who his tailor is...Ok fine hand me the chalk.. I quickly drew an outline representing a door. At first all I see is a white door in chalk. Suddenly the bricks begin to move and a large portal emerges. Rattus pushes me in and before I could say hell's bells I was being transported down a tunnel floating with a chubby rat behind me.

I hit the ground with a thump and the rat landed on my head. Ouch!! Hurry we mustn't dawdle through that clearing of trees there is somebody waiting for you. Remember not to trust anybody and drink this potion to maintain your magic in this realm, You will need it. You have the bottle?

Yes I answer, I walk and stumble through the clearing of trees and brush a branch out of the way. There is a black hearse waiting for me with a green cloud of smoke coming out of the exhaust pipe. I approach the hearse and find a person with a badly cut out Maggie Thatcher mask.. You must be Dagon, get in and put this mask on, we are going to pull the pin on Hitler!