The Man Who Saved Me From Him

*Two characters, Farah and Nadir, are personifications of Amaya’s happiness and depression; they’re how Amaya’s brain comprehends these two emotions.

We drove up the snowy, winding road toward the cozy A-frame cabin to the fitting and harmonious sounds of 'Winter Wonderland'. The pictures on Airbnb did not do this property justice; the snow cast an enchanting, dream-like spell, causing the cabin to appear like something from a winter rom-com. I didn’t think my smile could get any bigger, but as I drove closer and closer to the homey cabin, I felt my cheeks starting to hurt pleasantly from my unwavering grin.

After weeks of long hours and overtime at my website design job before earning a multi-million dollar contract, I took advantage of my employer’s celebratory generosity and requested two days off for a much-needed long weekend. Thankfully and peculiarly, my dream Airbnb cabin was available, and the local ski resort offered a free weekend package – two ski lessons and an invitation to all formal events. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I booked everything.

“I can’t believe we’re here.” I glanced at Farah from the rearview mirror, whose face matched mine. She wasn't always around, but Farah was free to join me, adding to an already incredible start to the trip. Hopefully, she could stay the whole time; there was so much I wanted us to do together.

Farah leaned forward, elbows propped on the center console. Her voice came out as a whisper as the awe restricted her from speaking typically. “Amaya. It’s so beautiful.”

Nodding eagerly in agreement, I removed my seatbelt and leaped out of the car. Closing my eyes and breathing deeply, I absorbed the good vibes from my surroundings. The crisp air was chilling, but my thick coat and Farah’s sudden bear hug warmed me.

“You ready to check out the inside?” I asked, my eagerness showing.

“Yes.” Farah let me go, allowing me to grab my baggage from my trunk. Lugging it over my shoulder, I held Farah’s hand with my free one and ran up the steps. Pulling out my phone, I tapped on the Airbnb app to find the needed information to enter the beautiful cabin. Finding the security code, I punched it on the keypad. The lock disengaged, allowing entry into the warm and inviting living area.

I dropped my bag by the leather reclining chair, where I planned to read from my Kindle in front of the soft glow of the flames in the gorgeous brick fireplace. Wanting to take a moment to appreciate the cabin further, I stood by my bag, studying the beautifully decorated spaces of the front room and kitchen. To a family, this cabin would be too small; for me, it was perfect.

“Come on,” I motioned to Farah to follow me, “let’s go check out the rest of the place.” Giggling like crushing schoolgirls, we toured the rest of the cabin, finding delight in even the small things. Like, the dogs playing in the snow on the thick blankets decorating the two twin beds in the single bedroom and the soft curves of the dripping icicles outside. This place was going to be a winter’s paradise home for the next four days, and I intended to enjoy it.

After a quiet and quickly devoured lunch, Farah and I made our way to the nearby ski resort to enjoy the first lesson. My nerves and excitement caused the butterflies in my stomach to flutter, even more so when the instructor, Jake, met us in the ski resort’s lobby. He was quite taller than me, with the top of my head reaching his shoulders. A blue beanie covered most of his brown curls, and his inquisitive, green eyes shined like peridot gems.

Farah yanked me aside as she breathed, “if the snow starts melting, we know why.” Rolling my eyes, I sauntered away from her.

Jake was very patient with me throughout the lesson, taking every one of my flubs in stride and joining in my hysterical laughter when I nearly fell face-first after putting on the skis for the first time. On our way back to the ski lodge, we talked animatedly, jumping from subject to subject. Once in the lobby with a steaming cup of hot cocoa, Jake extended an invitation to the ball-themed evening event as his plus one, which I accepted ecstatically. It was only the first day of this trip, but it was already one for the ages.

I was so wrapped up in my euphoria that I didn’t sense the presence of someone who relished in my pain. If I hadn’t been on cloud nine, I might have spotted them in the shadowed corner, stalking and ready to pounce as soon as the opportunity revealed itself. Maybe if I had noticed them, things would have been different.

Farah seemed to be waning as I spun around the living area in my pale yellow, flowing dress while waiting for my ride. Jake had insisted on being the proper gentleman, subtly flirting before offering to pick me up. His words set those darn butterflies off again now, “you should be treated like a princess, especially since you’re attending a ball.” I had blushingly accepted his offer, and he gave a smile fit for a prince.

“He only did it out of pity,” murmured a deep voice, “he could care less about someone like you.” I paused mid-spin, puzzlingly facing Farah. “Was that you?”

Farah raised her head slowly and shifted her eyes from side to side. “Was who me?” I stared at her, slightly bewildered. I was so sure I had heard something. I didn’t have time to dwell on it, though; Jake’s impeccable timing pulled my focus to tonight's event.

We arrived at the ski lodge's dance hall, now transformed into a ballroom from a princess movie. Variating-styled snowflakes hung from the vaulted ceiling, and twinkle lights added a shimmering effect. Sporting a perfectly tailored royal blue suit, Jake introduced me to many people; I greatly admired how he remembered the names and stories of so many. As the night dragged on, however, I started to feel self-conscious.

I scanned the massive room and noticed Farah was gone simultaneously with an abrupt change in the party’s atmosphere. The twinkle lights seemed dimmer, and the snowflakes’ points appeared to sharpen instantaneously. The kind, joyful conversation twisted into something sinister, and most of it seemed centered around me.

“How did she think she could pull that dress off?"

“Look at the little girl pretending she is a princess.”

“Does she really think any man would pay her genuine attention?”

Every backhanded comment, abominable insult, and snide remark tore into me. Suddenly, the cheerful yellow of my ball gown seemingly diminished to a pukey brown. Jake barely gave me a second look, his face holding scorn and self-regret for bringing me on his princely arm. Cinderella’s midnight transformation back to her servant garb was better than this.

I bolted through the immense sea of people to escape my increasing humiliation. Reaching the closest bathroom, I was relieved to find it empty. I locked the door to ensure a personal meltdown free from peering eyes.

What was happening? Everything was going great; I was having a spectacular, almost magical night. I leaned forward on the counter, attempting to gain control of the flurry of negative emotions whirling around.

“You shouldn’t have come, Amaya.” That voice sounded precisely like the whispers back at the cabin. My eyes elevated to peer behind me in the mirror. A well-dressed man emerged from the shadows. His onyx eyes didn’t twinkle; they darkened like a black hole. His beautiful nature did little to mask the murkiness radiating from him. Worse off, he was disturbingly familiar.

“N-Nadir. I thought–” I stuttered, watching in despair as the person I sustainably despised came closer. Nadir, the horrid creature, first came into my life five years ago, slinging tornadoes left and right. He was the reason my life then was almost destroyed, and I hated him for it. The torrent of abhorrent memories I thought were forgotten bubbled up.

After a long year, I thought I was finally rid of him. Nadir taught me quickly he wasn't one to leave his victims alone. In times past, he threw everything he could at me, allowing me to learn from every one of Nadir’s sojourns. But there was something different about this time, something that stirred a desire to punch him senseless and simultaneously tapped into a prey-like fear.

“I’ve told you before,” Nadir swept my hair to the side to bring his evil smirk closer to my ear, “you will never be done with me.”

My body froze at his touch, borderline crashing from the back-and-forth between fleeing and fighting. Nadir took advantage of my frigid state; “It’s time to leave. Nobody wants you here. No one, especially Jake, will miss you.” With a tight grip, he dragged me out of the bathroom and into the crowd, savoring their wicked commentary and gleefully adding to it.

What felt like hours later, we trudged outside; I felt only slightly relieved now that I was away from the crowd. Snatching my phone from my purse, Nadir bought up the Uber app and tossed the cellular device in my direction. I fumbled it, nearly dropping my phone on the sidewalk. Once I had a firm hand on the device, I noticed the notification that my pick-up was here. Nadir motioned to a black hearse-like Cadillac, his sadistic grin growing. He must have ‘borrowed’ my phone amid all the chaos inside to place the request; only Nadir would find a sick satisfaction with the arrangements.

Coming up on the vehicle, I tried to take the opportunity to break free from Nadir, but without missing a beat, he slid into the back next to me. The driver must have noticed my downcasted face, for he turned around to face me. “Everything okay?”

Before I could open my mouth, Nadir answered: “She’s fine. She’s just a little tired.”

The man accepted Nadir’s lie, falling for his counterfeit charm. I crossed my arms and turned my head to look out the window, taking in the dramatic weather changes on the way back to the cabin and hoping things would be better there.

The car bumpily navigated up to the Airbnb cabin; the radio was screeching out Pentatonix's cover of 'Coldest Winter'. There was no longer the welcoming feeling from my previous arrival; now replaced by a melancholy spirit.

Mumbling my thanks to the driver, I paid him and hesitantly walked to the door. The icicles were teeth-like, making the house appear eager to devour me. Inside, everything had distorted into something gruesome; the leather reclining chair was now a torture device, and the dogs from the now scratchy blankets menacingly growled. Of course, what I saw as hellish was a child’s playground to Nadir.

As I attempted to clean myself from the dirtiness and sadness I felt, Nadir gave as much effort to add to my misery. He made sure to position me in front of the mirror, guffawing at the distorted image of my body, and ruined my shower by cutting off access to the water heater.

Bedtime wasn’t much better; the lumpy mattress and nightmares fueled by Nadir’s storytelling stole away any passing notion of having a good night’s sleep. The usual solace I found in reading escaped me as my mind replayed the events at the ball.

“What was I thinking?” I muttered to myself. This trip was supposed to be a break from reality, a fanaticized memory to reflect on stress-filled days, specifically those of the Nadir-visiting variety. In less than 12 hours, this trip had gone down the drain.

“Yeah, what were you thinking? You thought you could play happy tourist? You are nothing….” I turned over in my bed with my back toward Nadir, signaling my intent to block him out.

This trip couldn’t get any worse right?

My Friday and early Saturday morning only built on my melancholia. The hours are filled with a massive headache fueled by blatant attempts to contain my overflowing emotions, Nadir’s constant badgering, and intermittent trips to the claustrophobic bathroom. The lack of food and perpetual vomiting further exacerbated my migraine. My pessimistic thoughts screamed for my complete attention, with Nadir tossing more fire onto my internal torment.

Frankly, if it weren’t for my migraine, I would have gone back home; there were less than 36 hours left, and my throbbing headache wouldn’t go away anytime soon. My weekend was already ruined, so why should I stay?

“Because you’re so weak and can’t drive five or six hours with a puny headache.” God, Nadir was being relentless.

Everything was so intense, pounding, that I nearly missed the rapping on the door. I found Jake standing there when I opened the door, with Nadir not far behind. So much for avoiding Jake. Instead of disgust, his face seemed concerned.

“You left the ball early Thursday night without me and didn’t show up for the ski lesson yesterday.” The words pierced me deeply as Nadir chuckled from behind, “meaning you’re a huge disappointment.”

Jake noticed my eyes watering. “I’m not upset, Amaya; I’m just worried about you,” he urged as he reassuringly held up his hands. “I know I only met you a couple of days ago, but the way you started acting before you pulled a Cinderella,” Jake trailed off and palmed his forehead, “I’m sorry, I have younger princess-loving sisters.”

I bit my bottom lip to prevent my giggles from falling out, but my dimples still showed. Nadir rolled his eyes and snobbily commented: “you're both so lame.” As much as I didn’t want it to, the jab wiped the little bit of happiness off my face.

At the sudden change, Jake glared directly at Nadir. My mouth dropped slightly in astonishment; everyone else in my life acted like Nadir was invisible. It didn't matter how obvious he was; Nadir was the epitome of 'if you didn't acknowledge it, it didn't exist'.

Jake’s eyes pivoted back to me, holding a mix of affection, anger, and protectiveness. “First, Amaya, please let me in,” he gently requested. I felt the wave of restraint emanating from Jake as I moved out of the way to let him in. His face furrowed as he gave Nadir another glance, his pupils sparking, before turning to me.

“Second, how long?”

“How long what?”

“How long have you been dealing with him?” He pointed an accusing finger at Nadir, who was fuming. I saw Nadir’s lips moving as he mouthed an order, “Don’t you dare.”

Concentrating on my shaking hands, I stammered and shook my head, “I-I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I felt Jake’s hands grasping my face, tenderly forcing me to look at him.

“You do, Amaya.” Jake wiped away tears sneaking down my face. Jake’s compassion broke open the floodgates as I sobbed into his arms. I have been dealing with Nadir alone for the past five years. Yes, I went to therapy, but I didn’t have anyone else who had my back and didn’t have to pay for one-hour sessions. I didn’t know if Jake would stick around, but my bruised heart didn’t care right now.

Jake mumbled in my hair while raking his fingers through it.“I have your back, Amaya. No one deserves to go through this alone.”

Jake and I talked for the rest of the day while Nadir pouted nearby. Jake spilled about how he knew the signs of dealing with your inner demons; his mom struggled with her version of Nadir for years. I poured out my feelings, especially about my loneliness in dealing with Nadir. When the sun began to set, Jake begrudgingly left, not wanting to leave me alone with Nadir. I assured him I would be okay; talking to Jake was the lifeline I needed.

The following day, Jake was back with two piping hot cups of cocoa. Despite my rationalization that I would be leaving soon after packing up, Jake insisted on hauling me to the resort for my second free lesson. I wasn’t much better, but the fresh air, exercise, and constant hysterics were what I needed. Nadir was still around but hung in the background, shrinking to just a blip on my radar.

Hours later, Jake helped me clean and pack, humming along to the upbeat playlist playing in the background. It didn’t hit me until I tossed the last of my luggage in the car; I would probably never see Jake again. I sniffled at the thought, catching Jake’s attention. Spreading his arms, Jake offered a hug, which I readily accepted.

Jake held me like he never wanted to let me go. He muttered something in my hair, causing me to twist my head to look up at him. “Jake, what did you say?”

“I really don’t want you to go.” Jake chuckled bitterly, “is it crazy that I barely know you, but I already feel….” He trailed off as words failed him. Pulling himself away, Jake pulled out his phone, unlocked it, and handed it to me. “I know we’re hundreds of miles apart, but I don’t want this chance to pass us by.” Nadir discouragedly remarked, “Even if he does call you, Jake will never see you as more than a charity case.”

Ignoring Nadir, I took the phone from Jake, plugged in my number, and assured him, “It’s not just you who feels something.” I gave the device back to him, smiling through stray tears. “No one has ever-mmph!”

Jake cradled the back of my head as he kissed me breathlessly, momentarily making me forget all about the crappiness and Nadir. This short vacation didn’t go the way I originally planned, but this was definitely a perfect ending.