The Last Knock

My son was late, and I had a pit in my stomach, waiting and wondering. I got up and sat on the couch waiting, it seemed like an eternity. I got up and paced the living room floor, and this is one of the times, I wished we had a larger living room.

The time seemed to stretch for an eternity. Whoever, invented the saying the watched pot, never boils, certainly had something there. However, my heart was heavy with worry, the kind you don't come back from unless you have a postive outcome. In this case, my son walking through that door.

It all seemed to happen in a motion, too small and motionless to detect. As I made a pass through the living room, I glanced up at the photo's on the wall, and I repeated to myself, "He will be home soon". It was 3:30 am, and he would not answer his cell phone. The possiblity that he could not answer is what scared me the most.

Then suddenly I heard an echo of a knock, and a symphony started playing, and I felt a sense of relief, that I had locked him out.

Then I heard a louder version of a knock, and the floor shifted under my feet, so I attempted to place my limp body on the couch. I was filled with fear that I don't ever remember feeling before.

The knock became louder, and I felt a sense of dread, as I felt my legs in mid air, trying to stand up. I felt like nothing had any substance, certainly not my body, as I struggled to move. It was like hanging off a cliff, and being suspended in mid air.

When I felt the floor under my feet, the fear intensified as I struggled to move. The room was shifting under my feet and the walls were not as I had remembered them. I glanced at his picture that seemed to come to life, and was now dancing now on the wall, and I indeed thought I was visiting with angels.

The knock grew louder, and as I grew closer, I was unable to reach the doorknob. It seemed like it was an eternity away, and in a way it was. My hand was shaking and the doorknow was just beyond my reach. I felt the slippery shiny feeling of brass embrace my hand, but I wasn't able to turn the knob.

The knock grew even louder and it stunned me out of my numbness, as I fumbled to turn the doorknob clockwise.

The creek of the door opening, sent shivers up my spine, and upon openingit, I saw five figures that shouldn't have been there at this early morning hour. As the porch light illuminate the figures, I saw the light beaming off something shiny, and it felt like something was punching me in the stomach.

It was their official badges that they wore so proudly. As the man spoke, I felt like the world was coming to an end. He said, "Does Richard live here"?

I literally dropped to my knees, and I refused to let them in, because I knew that it literally meant this was the end of my life as I knew it.

The officer politely said, "Can I come in"? Not until you tell me where my son is. The officer asked again, "Can I come in"? I repeated "not until you tell me where my son is".

I feel to my knees when the Sgt. said your son has been shot multiple times and is dead.

This article is in loving memory of my son, Richard L Jacobs Jr, who was brutally murdered on March 27, 2015.