The Labyrinth

I don't remember what it's like to be free from pain. The pain is consuming my ability to think. I want to do better. I want to feel free again.

There's so much darkness around me but the guilt in me starts to prick my eyes as if I was looking at a bright sunlight ruthlessly piercing into my soul.

I feel like a millions eyes watching me even in pitch dark. I don't feel safe. I want to run away. I want to be alone.

But, I AM alone! Nobody is watching me! What makes me feel this way? Who am I hiding from? It is My Conscience again.

I am sweating all over, the blood in my veins almost feels like it stopped flowing. Seems like I physically gave up on living. My eyes shut slowly with exhaustion.

.

.

I stood between strands hanging around me from somewhere above. Some strands seem feeble while some seem strong enough to latch on. I somehow knew I had to hold on to them to feel better. I jumped as high as I could and held on to a seemingly strong thread. As soon as I realized I was safe and it could hold my weight I looked down. The firm ground I was standing vanished, instead there were pits all over in the form of a labyrinth. My heart sank in disbelief.

What did I just do? Did I just leave the only ground that was there to comfort me? Did I take a wrong step again? But this time I have no time to waste. If I leave this strand I might fall into something worse. I need to keep moving.

But is there a way out? What are these strands even? How long can they even hold me? My brain started spiralling. I felt a twist in my stomach. With all these thoughts my chest heaved like my heart is trying to break free.

I tried to figure out my next step, of which other strand do I need to hold. I held another seemingly strong thread to keep going. Although, I had no idea where this was taking me.

"Ughhhh, I wish I knew what future holds..."

I carefully held the next strand while leaving the one I am holding. As soon as I held it I could feel the thread wavering as if it couldn't hold my weight.

"Man I thought this was the strongest among others!!! Woahhhhh...."

Within seconds the thread gave up on me. "Darn thing!!"

I fell into something that looks magical, the place was filled with greenery, scenic just like the moments before monsoon rains.

The dark grey clouds looked like they are running towards me to give a cozy welcome hug, the birds fluttering in the sky like confetti spread across, and the trees dancing to the music of the wind. It is the perfect weather one would crave in despair. I spent there for a while forgetting everything I went through, every pain that seared my body.

"I wish it goes on like this forever!"

Soon a drizzle started to wet the area around me which eventually turned to a storm.

"Oh boy! is this another trap?"

As I peaked around for a rescue, for a way out, a humongous tree caught my eyes. Running towards it gave me a sense that it is going to relieve me from this brutal storm.

As I got near the tree everything calmed down, it was as firm as rock, firmness that could hold a massive earthquake which gave me a sense of security.

I got close to it and could observe a bunch of threads hanging from it, just like the ones I saw before.

Now I understood the pattern. I knew I need to hold on to one of these. But as usual my indecisiveness got the best of me, same old paranoia, dilemma!

"Here we go again!!"

But the more time I wasted the more things seemed off in my body. I could feel a huge shift in my energy. It's like something is sucking it. My legs started giving up, slowly giving me a sense of emergency to decide about the next step.

I looked around to decide but my mind is scared to contemplate, Finally I surrendered to the fate, held to the nearest one, and snap! I am back to the labyrinth, but this time it feels like I am further from where I started.

I looked back and saw I'd made some progress. Maybe that's what matters that I kept moving.

The storms aren't forever, the calmness is fleeting. The dark clouds are not always bad but sometimes are catalysts for growth.

There always a way out yet no exit in this labyrinth called life!