The Hiraeth Gatekeeper I

On the Trail IV - The Hiraeth Gatekeeper I

A worsening trip

Farther along, farther back

Down and up, the same

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Hiraeth

noun. (Welsh)

A spiritual longing for a home

Which maybe never was.

Nostalgia for ancient places

To which we cannot return.

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Hiraeth is the echo of the lost places in our Soul’s past

And our grief for them.

It is in the wind, the rocks, and the waves

The living Earth, secret dirts one holds in hand

Where life breaths life into seeds as planted

It is loving nowhere, and it is greeting everywhere.

Seek, and ye shall not find

Not find?

So much challenge

In lifetimes of wandering.

No wonder there is so much weeping.

Is Hope truly, just a teasing word?

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Cresting a rocky, volcanic mountain

I thought arrived at 2 days ago

Saw I gladly, finally

The same crest dreamed about nightly

Since this trip started…

Seeing what had been seen... before

In days uncounted

True? The same?

Yes, carried over even from teenage days

As a, as the... right Place to go

Wavering so as it was found

The returning shimmer

Flickering at the end of so many stories lived

Long and short, bitter and sweet

Leaving questions left, waiting…

Like fickle pieces of precious Jade

Still to be answered in truth

Pieces to finally fit into proper place.

The silent Sentinels chuckling

Unseen’s rising like oldest friends

Brought dancing forward, again into view.

Mysteries presenting from disturbed dreams

Soft green lights offering little comfort

Though blinking, singing sweetly

‘We are here, find us’.

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Behind all victories

All finished ascents

Laying even so among folded flags

Thought whole… yet

Only mirages now truly realized

Knitting pieces together, never seen truly as bound

Only bases for the aches spraying

Soft green lights singing along

‘We are here, find us’.

Standing tired at this, another sharp edge

As the deepening Red Sun sinks in it’s goodbye

Seeing the Way-below’s marching off

Into darkening, descending blue-grey mists

Confusion sets in

Laying its threads thought knotted

Seen now

Attaching only to chaos.

Where to… to go now?

‘Hey, young man,’ a voice behind me said

‘Got a light for my cigarette?’

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Reality blazed

Suddenly merged with dreams

Startling me

Why, how... can this bonding truly be?

For I in dreaming

Did rush out for right answers

And also find secrets

To true... be.

Can’t you see... I ask us artists all?

What is there to wish for better

To true... be.

What purpose sacrifice

But for these two words found

Formed and attached

To foreverness?

As reported... as

One must, True... Be.

Oh, to find me so, inscribing them

Welded together in so many dreams

Goals, such worthy objectives

Where for, what is… wanted so

To arrive fresh in bright colors blazing

Here I am, arrived

As seen true

And truly come… to be.

Or is it, this all... a ‘was’… just finished

Brought forth only to find

Just one better, slighted answer

To quiet questing mind

Held so by imagination and creative thoughts.

Always there, as was’s

Laying in piles of… again’s

Never meant to be better found.

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As such, sighing, I must sleep

Having finished with this ghost pen rambling

My gig remaining whole

Back to my dreams to make hearty amends.

Thinking big before such vistas as this

Again, waiting for my decided descent.

Patching empty spaces with more mists

Watching again, hearing sparkling green lights singing

We are here, find us.

‘Surprised, I to see you so late

With ink-filled pen’, the voice behind me countered

‘And on this site traveling

Unknown spaces... to what end?’

Remembering then...

Soft green lights, thought offering little comfort

Blinking, singing sweetly

‘We are here, find us’.

Turning around I faced her.

The Hiraeth Gatekeeper chuckling

Spraying more green lights into the future

Laying better the descending trail.

‘Shall we commence?’

(to be cont'd)