THE GLITTERATI ☆ i

i ☆ PINS & NEEDLES

Hayward High

2:47 PM

SID CARVER stared straight ahead at the date written in the top corner of the whiteboard. April 24th. A date that haunted her for the past two years. A forever reminder of the day she lost her father to cancer. She could remember the way he looked, the way his last breath sounded like it was yesterday. The way life faded from his eyes as they searched hers for something familiar to hold onto. Anything. The sobs that escaped her mother’s throat moments after he was gone. It seemed to play out right before her eyes, no regard for the desks housing students around her or the impending figure of her calculus teacher as he walked toward her.

Georgia Miller ― one of Sid’s closest friends and the only person in her world who knew what losing a parent felt like ― whispered a warning from the desk to her right, but by the time she slipped back into reality, Mr. Hobbs was already staring down at her.

She blinked, registering the weight of the situation before he spoke a word. “Do you plan on finishing your exam, Miss Carver? I trust you need to pass if you plan on walking in graduation next week with the rest of your classmates.”

Georgia shot her a warning glance, well aware of the state of mind she was in today. Her thoughts when it came to anything outside of the memory of her father held the toxicity of an atomic bomb. What Mr. Hobbs wasn’t aware of? His comment set off the detonator. Sid cleared her throat before answering, hoping her response rang loud and clear.

“Actually, Mr. Hobbs, I did the math, something you pride yourself on teaching in a version that is hardly applicable to life outside of any sort of academic setting. Given that my GPA has always been a 4.0, I could actually get a 0 on this test and pass your class just fine.” To her surprise, even through the significance of today, she somehow managed to get through half of the test already before her bout of mourning was interrupted. Flipping back to the first page, she signed her name in cursive, drawing a sunflower a part of her signature since her father passed.

Mr. Hobbs watched her intently, everyone’s eyes on her now. She gathered her belongings and shoved everything into her backpack before rising to her feet. “Make that a fifty at least.” Mr. Hobbs’ frown deepened as she held out the test for him to collect. Half the students snickered, receiving a deathly glare from him in response. She walked out without another word, mindlessly heading toward her car in the student parking lot. For some reason, since her first day, Mr. Hobbs always seemed to have some type of vendetta against her. Perhaps it was because he didn’t expect a brown girl to pass his class with seemingly no effort, or that the way she carried herself wasn’t the stereotypical norm.

Stereotypes were overrated.

Sid burst into tears as soon as she got outside, hardly realizing the fact that she was virtually holding her breath the entire time. She had been trying so hard all day to keep it together, to somehow get through it without giving in to her emotions but it was to no avail. There was nothing that could keep her mind from wandering to such a dark place.

From reminding her that it had been another year without him.

Without his laugh, his voice. His love.

A voice called out to her and she turned around, Griffin Banks embracing her without a word. They’d become close over the course of the last year, and she was secretly grateful that he was here for her at that moment. He swept a rogue curl from her face, taking a good look at her. She gasped, the realization just hitting her that he’d followed in her footsteps and walked out of class.

“Your exam,” she protested, attempting to push him back toward the double doors that held access to the hall they’d just left. He didn’t move an inch, a laugh escaping his throat that sent her heart into a momentary frenzy. She took a second to study his features and lean into the moment. The way the sunlight illuminated his honey irises. The slight envy she harbored after admiring the length of his eyelashes.

The way his embrace seemed to calm her, if even for a minute.

“Don’t you worry about me, Carver. I told Hobbs I needed a bathroom break.” He flashed a toothy grin before his voice lowered into a more serious tone. “No, honestly though, I wanted to make sure you were okay. I know what today means for you, and I know, I pinky promised a while back not to ask how you’re doing when it comes to this, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let you leave without making sure.”

He held Sid’s gaze for a moment, the feelings she had for him slowly surfacing. She loved the way he made her feel, the way he cared, but she wasn’t ready to get into a relationship. Not when the loss of her father still affected her so. It wouldn’t be fair. To either of them.

“I’m fine,” she whispered, nodding her head matter-of-factly in an attempt to add some truth to her lie. Griff narrowed his eyebrows, knowing not to push his luck. He sighed heavily, accepting her answer.

“You know I’m always here if you ever need to talk,” he assured her, planting a fleeting kiss on her forehead before stepping back. It was something he’d always done, an unspoken indication of the fact that even if she wasn’t ready now, he would wait as long as she wanted him to. “I have to say though, I think you bruised Hobbs’ ego a bit,” he sneered.

She stifled a laugh. “He’s had something against me since day one. It was bound to come out sooner or later.” They stood in silence for a moment before he spoke again.

“Anyway, I should probably get back to that exam. We aren’t all geniuses,” he chuckled, winking at her as he turned back toward the school.

“Hey,” she called out. He turned again, secretly hoping this could be the moment he’d been waiting for. “Thank you.”

He offered her a smile. “My pleasure, Carver.”

She watched him retreat inside, her mind subconsciously switching back to the dangerous side of grieving as she slipped into the driver’s seat of her car. Her thoughts took over as she turned on the ignition and turned out of the parking lot, heading straight for the tattoo parlor just three blocks away.

☆

NEEDLES HAVE always been a fear of Sid's. The first time she had to get stitches after falling off her bike and skinning her knee was a living nightmare to her five-year-old mind, an event that simply meant her world was ending.

No matter how many different tactics the pediatrician had up his sleeve to get her to calm down, her screams could probably be heard out in the parking lot. She writhed under the pressure of the needle under a steady hand, envisioning the way it moved in and out of the gash in her knee only making her more nauseous.

Her one saving grace was the soothing voice of her father. He stooped down to eye level, stabilizing his daughter with gentle hands. It only took a moment for her to relax in his grasp, and once her bout of panic had passed, he hummed a lullaby they’d come up with during one of their impromptu visits to the sunflower field just miles outside of town.

Sunflower yellow, buzzing bee

Find a fellow In a sycamore tree

Sunflower yellow, climb to see

How beautiful sunflower yellow can be.

Sunflower yellow, buzzing bee

Find a fellow in a sycamore tree

By the time he got to the second verse, she was humming along, completely oblivious now to her injury, or the needle that moved in and out of her leg that had spooked her just moments ago.

Forever her saving grace.

He couldn't be here now, a passing thought that didn't go unnoticed. Sid swallowed the frog in her throat as she pulled into the parking lot, forcing herself to get out before she had the chance to change her mind.

She steadied her breathing, running through the lyrics of their lullaby in her head as if her father were standing next to her. A girl not much older than herself greeted her at the receptionist desk, her hair the only colorful thing about her appearance. Sid admired her sleeve of tattoos riddled with images of everything from a whale to Rick and Morty.

“It doesn’t hurt as much as you think it will, I promise.” The girl offered her a smile, taking down her name before escorting her to a lone chair pulled up to an artist booth that was enclosed on all sides except for a doorway. The acrylic plaque screwed to the wall read Domino in an array of letters. The receptionist knocked on the wall twice, alerting the tattoo artist inside that Sid was ready for her consultation. An abrupt holler emanated from the room and the girl nodded in complete understanding. “He’ll be right with you, Sid.”

“Thanks,” was all she could manage, forcing herself to focus on her breathing.

A man who weirdly resembled Gimli emerged from the room, his smile hardly visible past his beard. “Greetings, young lady. I’m Domino, I’ll be your tattoo artist today,” he beamed, sticking his hand out for Sid to shake it.

She didn’t expect him to be so proper.

“Sid Carver.”

“Nice to meet ya, Sid. What kind of ink were you looking to get done today?”

This was a question she’d known the answer to for exactly two years now. The one symbol that reminded her of her father. The symbol that she’d worked into her signature ever since that day. The very thing the lullaby was about.

“I wanted to get a sunflower on my collarbone.” Close to the heart.

“Sounds easy enough. Have you had a tattoo before, Sid?”

“Never. The only reason I want one now is to honor the memory of my father.”

“Perfect, my favorite type of client,” he grinned. “I promise I’ll make it as painless as I can. Now if you’ll just give me a moment, I’ll get that sketched out, and then we’ll get that going for ya.”

It took him roughly five minutes to finish his sketch and bring it out to her for approval before he let her get settled in the chair in his booth, trying to prepare herself for the inevitable. Once Domino placed the stencil and prepared his machine, he prompted her. “Ready?”

Sid inhaled deeply before clamping her eyes shut in anticipation. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” The lullaby flooded the forefront of her mind almost subconsciously as if her father knew she needed comfort in this exact moment.

Sunflower yellow, Buzzing bee

The tattoo machine buzzed to life.

Find a fellow in a sycamore tree

The initial contact of the needle to her skin sent a shiver through her spine.

Sunflower yellow, climb to see

How beautiful sunflower yellow can be.

By the end of the second verse, Sid drifted into a sort of daydream, the lullaby playing on an endless loop and the sound of her father’s voice singing along to soothe her. When the buzzing stopped, it seemed as if perhaps an hour had passed. In reality, it had only been 20 minutes.

Sid opened her eyes in response to a gentle tap on her shoulder that interrupted her daydream. Domino tilted his head with a slight smirk, as if to display his satisfaction with his work.

“You’re all set. Take a look.”

Sid sat up, stabilizing herself before walking over to the floor-length mirror propped up against the wall in the corner. She was thankful for the fact that her daydream took her out of reality long enough for him to finish the tattoo, clean it, and wrap it.

Thanks to her dad.

She leaned into the mirror, admiring Domino’s work past the small piece of saran wrap taped over her collar bone. The linework was simple and beautiful all at the same time, solidifying that she’d made the right decision. Something she could carry with her forever, to keep her father close to her heart whenever she needed him.

“I love it,” she breathed, her eyes swelling with tears. It filled her with a yearning for simpler times. Times when she had both her parents. Times when her heart was whole.

“It was my pleasure. Maybe you’ll come by again sometime in the future?”

Sid let out a laugh that caught even her off guard. “I forgot to tell you I’m afraid of needles.”

Domino let out a long whistle, a light chuckle cutting into his words. “Well, I gotta tell ya you handled that better than most grown men that have walked in here. Half of 'em pass out,” he winked.

“Good to hear,” she blushed. “Thanks again, Domino.”

“Have a good day, kiddo.”

Sid paid at the receptionist desk, leaving a generous tip before heading back to her car. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, a text message from Gia popping up on her lock screen.

Hey, love, we’re all meeting at Len’s for a little game night. Swing by?

She knew better than anyone that asking how she was doing would only make things worse and she smiled at the invisible gesture. Their entire friend group knew about the significance of this day, but Gia and Griffin were the only two people she felt comfortable actually talking to in detail about it. The fact that they respected her boundaries about it still showed they cared.

Her phone buzzed again with an added detail about who would be attending, a detail that meant there was no way she could say no.

Griff’s coming too 😏

Sid texted her back, praying this could be the turn of events when it came to April 24th. She needed a good memory. Forcing herself to clear her mind, she headed towards Len’s house, deciding that perhaps grieving could wait for a few hours.

☆

LENNOX STEELE was a character in his own right, the very thing that drew Sid to him in elementary school. He knew her father well, always teaming up with him to tease Sid about how she threw like a girl or the fact that she only ever drank from a soda pop can with a straw. The day he told her how much he liked Gia was the day they traded places when it came to best friend status. Lennox became obsessed with impressing Gia by being everything but himself, and Gia delighted in gossiping about how weird he was with Sid.

Eventually, he came around and Gia grew to like him, but somehow their friendship was never quite the same. Lennox’s house was toward the edge of town, his backyard open to the forest. They liked to tell scary stories at night whenever they held a bonfire, the eerie forest backdrop adding a sort of credibility to the fear factor.

Sid parked on the curb behind Griff’s 1961 Porsche. It was as good as scrap yard junk ― hailing from his grandfather’s high school years ― but he still treated it like his most prized possession. Sid shot a text to her mom before ringing the doorbell, praying she wouldn’t hold her spontaneous outing against her. Not today.

Sawyer Hudson answered the door, embracing Sid in a hug before she got the chance to say a word. She assumed Gia and Griff had let them all in on what happened during calc, subconsciously reminding herself to forgive any type of sympathy she was bound to receive tonight. Most of them would never understand what losing a parent felt like. They could only try to relate to her.

Skye, Sawyer’s twin sister followed suit next, resulting in a receiving line of hugs from the entire group. Thankfully, Gia interrupted. “Geez, guys, don’t smother the girl. Let her breathe.” Griff stepped up reluctantly, looking to Gia for approval. She tried to hold back a grin but failed miserably, pulling him closer to Sid. “We’ll let you guys talk.” She winked at Sid before joining the others in the living room.

Griff tilted his head as if to ask permission and Sid nodded with a smile. Griffin embraced her, tighter this time, and she would’ve melted in his arms if it weren’t for the pain radiating from her collarbone . . .

Sid pulled back, looking up at Griffin apologetically before pulling her cardigan down past her shoulder to reveal the secret she had yet to share. His jaw dropped, his words cut short. “I know,” Sid whispered, wary of the rest of the group craning their necks to catch their conversation. Everyone knew about their feelings for each other. “I just thought this would help me. With this day, I mean.” Griffin took a second to register the tattoo, eventually settling into a look of approval that put her at ease.

“It’s great, Sid. I know he’d love it, too.”

“Alright, lovebirds. It is officially time to play Spin the Bottle and I think Griff should be our first contestant.” Sawyer peeled him away, leading him to fill a space in the makeshift circle they’d already started forming. Sid settled into the circle exactly opposite of Griffin. Lennox ran to the kitchen returning with six solo cups and a half-filled bottle of vodka.

“Who’s up for a sleepover?” he smirked, pouring generous amounts of the liquid poison into each cup until the bottle was empty. “I like to call this version Liquid Courage, or lack thereof,” he sneered. “As you know, the contestant will spin the bottle and whoever it lands on is who they have to kiss. We’ll call them the victim to make it interesting. The twist is if the victim decides to decline the opportunity for a smooch, they have to drink their liquid courage, in which case will also forfeit them from driving home.” Murmurs of approval rose from everyone except Sid, a sense of pressure slowly engulfing her.

There was no way she could drink. Her mom would need her tonight. Especially tonight.

“Alright, party people! First contestant is the one and only, Griffin Banks. Spin the bottle, Griff. And get yourself a smooch, courtesy of casa de Lennox.” Once Lennox was finished with his theatrics, Griffin scanned everyone sitting in the circle, grabbed a hold of the now-depleted vodka bottle, and flicked his wrist as hard as he could.

The entire group seemed to hold their breath as the bottle spun, the moment it slowed down seeming to stop time altogether. The spinning stopped, landing on a very disgruntled Skye Hudson. She wrinkled her nose, already reaching for a cup of liquid poison. “No offense, Griff, but I’m going to have to pass.” Griff’s shoulders dropped in relief.

There was only one girl in the room he had an interest in kissing.

“Drink up!” Lennox urged, pumping his fists in the air. Skye tilted her head back, taking the drink down with one gulp. Her face contorted into a look of disgust and she tried shaking it off.

Gia spun next, and to her luck, the bottle landed on Lennox. His lips spread into a toothy grin and Gia let out a laugh, making her way across the middle of the circle until her face was inches away from Len’s. She settled in a criss-cross position, her heartbeat elevating as he gently pulled her towards him, sending an electrifying sensation through her lips.

They pulled apart, evoking a couple of awws from the rest of the group. Once Gia finally composed herself, she nudged Sid. “Your turn.”

Sid took no time, immediately spinning the bottle before any anticipation could build up. Unintentionally, she made eye contact with Griffin, offering him a hopeful smile as the bottle slowed to a stop. Pointing directly at Lennox. Gia groaned in protest next to her. “Sorry, Len,” Sid laughed. “No can do.”

Lennox raised his eyebrows at her expectantly, waiting for her to pick a cup. “What’s the matter, Sid? Vodka not your drink?”

Sid looked to Griffin with pleading eyes, trying to figure out some way to get around the rules of a rejection. “I can’t drink this time, I still have to get home.”

“Am I sensing a rule breaker in our midst?” Lennox stood, looking down on Sid like she’d just killed someone. “Everyone knows you have to follow the rules of the game, Sid. So, I think there’s a cup of vodka waiting for you.”

“I said I’m not drinking tonight,” Sid pressed through clenched teeth. Lennox prepared to challenge her, but Griffin jumped up, coming to Sid’s defense.

“Give it a rest, Lennox. She doesn’t want to drink, so leave her alone.”

“What are you gonna do about it, pretty boy? Just because she’s short a parent doesn’t mean she can disrespect the rules,” he snarled. The words stung for more reasons than one, Sid’s body seeming to go completely numb.

She rose to her feet, subconsciously heading toward the front door, all of the sounds going on around her in protest of Lennox’s sudden mood flip. Of the words that he would never be able to take back. Of the fact that he so openly mocked his friend. Sid reached her car door seemingly in a matter of seconds, a hand enclosing around hers.

Griffin. There was no way he would let her drive home like this.

He led her to the passenger seat, tossing his keys at Gia for her to follow them. Griffin drove in silence, not wanting to overwhelm Sid any more than she already had been after the events of today. With his eyes trained on the road, he found her hand, gently squeezing it in a silent apology for Lennox’s behavior.

The sun was setting, casting an orange glow through the sky. The closest color to sunflower yellow. Sid looked down at her phone, composing a message to the only person besides Gia and Griffin that understood her the most. The one person she’d known since preschool.

Brooks Turner.

I need you.

Within less than a minute, Brooks texted her back, already halfway on his way to her house. He would be her last attempt at some sort of relief, silently hoping that she could somehow escape the grief that had been haunting her all day, and the burden she seemed to place on someone she used to call her friend.