The Firstborn Scam

I stared down the Demon. He stared back, one eyebrow (out of many) raised. "That is all you ask for? Your firstborn, in exchange for your pre-pregnancy figure?"

I nodded. "Yes. Is the request too great for you?"

He (She? It?) snarled. "The deal is struck. Expect me after the birth."

The demon vanished, leaving behind the smell of sulphur.

I teleported home, a gift from another demon. In the mansion, my husband waited. "How many does that make?"

I glanced at the list: magical powers, long life and good health, youth, riches, and immunity from all prosecution; all granted in exchange for custody and possession of our firstborn.

Thankfully, the demon who granted immunity from prosecution thought I'd mispronounced it, and hadn't questioned why a Minority would want freedom from persecution. I hadn't corrected his assumption, and looked forward to the fireworks when a bunch of angry supernatural beings realised they'd been tricked and couldn't do a damn thing about it.

"Four demons, a god, three eldritch abominations, and two witches."

We exchanged a high-five, laughing. Neither of us had wanted to be parents, so when we discivered the pregnancy too late to do anything about it, we had to get creative.

My husband raised my hand to his lips, and I could feel him smile against my skin. "I have to say, I wish them all the best of luck co-parenting."