The Fabulous Table Lady Of Atlantic City Part 4

“1, 2, 3, Blow!!!”

“Happy Birthday Celeste!!”

Celeste, aka The Fabulous Table Lady of Atlantic City, blew out the candles on her 40th birthday cake and looked over her many friends and fans. All of her fellow performers were present, the man in the wheelchair, the tiny man, the woman of enormous girth, and, of course, lurking the in the shadows, those curious twins of Ventnor City. She was also pleased to see Rocco and the Tiny Wonder. She could scarcely believe it when she had rolled onto the boardwalk on her motorized table for her daily shift as “entertainer extraordinaire” and saw the assembled throng. This, her family, had come out to celebrate her life, the life of a woman who had spent the better part of her working life laying face down on a motorized table hustling for spare change while playing a Casio organ with her tongue.

“What are your hopes for the future Miss Celeste?” asked the Tiny Wonder.

She had to think about it. After all, she had given birth to two children, was married and lived a more or less stable life, not that any of them knew about that. She remained mysterious to them, a phantom of the Atlantic City Boardwalk, someone who was a stranger amongst these virtual strangers. To them, she was just another one of the side show oddities who rolled up onto the Boardwalk daily to join the never ending show.

“I want to be crowned Miss America!”

All laughed and Rocco chimed in, “You mean Miss Table Lady America.”

An hour or so passed and The Tiny Wonder exclaimed, “gift time” and tore the cover off an enormous box that stood by the edge of the boardwalk, ocean side. Down fell the sides and all cheered as before them appeared a brand new motorized table. Celeste beamed as she realized that her "family" had bought her a new mode of transportation on which she could travel and from atop which she could work.

The table gleamed in that new stainless steel sort of way and looked like any table one would see in a restaurant kitchen, except for the fact that Rocco had reconfigured it with a motorized wheel mechanism which connected to a joystick control to steer the contraption. Next to the joystick were two separate paddles, one for increasing and the other for decreasing the speed. Celeste realized that this is something that she would have to get used to as the prior model had only one speed control that was attached to the joystick. In any case it was just beautiful.

“Try it on,” they shouted in unison, and hoisted Celeste from her old table to the new one which was no easy feat given that she had put on a few pounds. They gave one last heave and were able to get her face down on the new table. All the while Rocco was talking and talking, explaining to her the workings of the contraption, the location of the battery, and, most importantly, that the right paddle is to increase the speed and the left to lower it. “Apply gentle pressure,” he told her as he had carefully calibrated the paddles to be very sensitive.

She rolled back and forth, slowly increasing the speed, and immediately noticed the sensitivity of the new table. The slightest movement of the left paddle caused the table to lurch forward alarmingly. “I’ll just have to get used to it;” she thought.

“Balloons” they shouted. Rocco opened a trash bag full of over-sized helium balloons and started to tie them to the new table. “Now, this is a REAL gift’” he exclaimed. When he was done they wondered aloud what they should do next when the woman of enormous girth shouted “table races.” None of them thought this was a bad of an idea as they had a spare table on hand. Of course Celeste would have to be in every race as she was basically stationary on her table.

The first race was Celeste vs. Rocco. As Rocco was unaccustomed to steering a restaurant table he got off to a shaky start and just about veered off the Boardwalk on the acceleration. Celeste won that one. Other races ensued, most of which she won due to the superior speed of her table, the one over which she still had minimal control.

“Final Race.”

The Tiny man jumped onto the table and looked over at Celeste as Rocco blew the whistle. Off they went. He took off at a furious speed and seemed to have great control of the table owing to his small stature and weight. They were zooming down the Boardwalk, both travelling further than any of the others had been able to do when Celeste stated to lose control of her table. She couldn't control the paddles and the table began to pick up speed, faster and faster as it caught the ocean breeze underneath. At the same time, the balloons started to lift the table off the Boardwalk and Celeste was airborne, floating on the current, due north. Just before the table lifted off, the tiny Wonder grabbed onto one leg of the table and was pulled up with it. All on the ground gasped as he, the table and Celeste drifted higher and higher. He was shaken loose when the table jerked to the left over the beach and dropped him some 30 feet into a sand dune.

All of the guests raced over to see if he was o.k. as Celeste shouted from her lofty perch:

“THANKS FOR THE WONDERFUL GIFT, I LOVE YOU ALL AND WILL SEE YOU SOON!!”

She drifted northward on her table guided by the current and held aloft by 20 balloons. All below started to cry.