The Exile’s Awakening to Refuge

Standing in my kitchen, I looked out the window. The sun was hanging low, the sky was pink it was an Indian summer type of day. The palms were swaying in an eerie way bending in the whistling wind. A Saint Bernard dog ran down the road, and then started chasing its tail.

Suddenly, I had a taste for pancakes covered with chocolate syrup, but I had a glass of lemonade instead. I knew and realized something was going wrong with this world that day, at age twenty-three.

I once dreamed of having kids, but since the world seemed to be failing, I started not wanting to bring any children into this world. As for love, whatever will be, will be.

During those years, I was a freelance article writer for Daily News, and a part-time singing host at Spazio Restaurant in Los Angeles, CA.

Three years later, I decided to disband from Los Angeles, and move to Alabama. I had some kinfolks down that way.

In Alabama, I landed a job as a cashier at Walgreens. There were friendly crowds and not so friendly crowds there. Everyone there seems to have a certain type of attitude about the happenings of the days. It felt sort of like I stepped back in time. It didn’t feel very much like home, but I tolerated the culture.

At new day’s dawn, the sunlight crept into the right side bedroom window, the yellow curtains flying in the breeze.

I heard the Oscar Mayer jingle over the radio and hummed along.

A politician named Charles Montgomery called on me. We went out a few times. He was quite pleasant.

Over the passing weeks, I managed to fit in well enough. I made a few friends in Perdido, AL.

Three years later, I heard Cincinnati calling me to Ohio. I felt like I needed a new scene, a new beginning. I uprooted myself and did a job transfer to a Walgreens in Finneytown, OH. When I arrived, I felt welcomed by the land.

This guy named Bob was a loyal customer of Walgreen’s. I liked him.

I have a thing for Jergens cherry lotion and Vaseline. I just love rubbing it all over my whole body. It’s my fetish of choice.

Years had come and gone. I was promoted to facility manager at Walgreen’s. Having worked there for 15 years, I saved up enough money to purchase a spot of ground with a shop on it in Cincinnati. I love cooking, and I’m into hospitality.

I said to myself, “I’m going to open a Zagbag Café.” Five weeks later I was in business. I invited Bob to come over.

There seems to not be enough time for loving, but I want to engage in it. I’ve turned down quite a bit of interested potentials.

“Hi Jill, I heard you sang over at Spazio Restaurant. You’re talented,” he said.

“Thanks,” I snacked on a muffin. At that moment, I had seen the cutest guy sit down on a stool at the counter.

“My name is Jeff Tims. Are you new here?” he asked.

“I’m new to Ohio,” I smiled.

“When I feel down, I go to Spazio Restaurant. Hearing you sang there sure cheered me up.”

“What’s got you feeling down?” I asked.

“You actually want to know?” he asked.

“Yes,” I nodded.

“Well, I’ve been feeling down, because scientists have announced the world is going to end soon. At first, I didn’t want to believe in doomsday, but I know it’s right at the door, even now,” Jeff exasperated.

“Let me let you in on what I do to cope. I take each day as it comes, and make the best of it.”

He smiled at me. “I think I like you.”

“I think I like me too,” I smiled to myself.

A cranky man named Chuck, walked in and sat at the counter. He looked around at everyone as if he was about to growl.

“What can I get for you?” I asked him.

“My usual please,” he snippered.

“There you go,” I placed the vanilla chocolate shake down.

“Do you know what’s up with him?” I asked Rosalyn.

“Chuck has a birthday coming up, and he’s not happy about it. He’s turning forty-five,” she whispered to me.

“I heard you whispering something about me. I’d be much obliged if you wouldn’t air my dirty laundry,” Chuck grumbled.

“I’m sorry,” Rosalyn began to wipe the counter with a sad expression on her face.

“It’s not her fault. I asked about you. I’m sorry,” I cringed.

“Mind your own business,” the ole man said.

On that note, Bob walked into my café.

“Hello Bob. Good to see you,” I said to him.

“My day off from work is today. I came to see your fine establishment,” he chuckled. “I sure miss you over at Walgreens. I thought you were going to stay on over there.” Bob looked away, because he was sad. “The folks over at Walgreens told me you didn’t even say goodbye nor tell them you were leaving. You put in a damn resignation, and poof you were gone,” he scowled.

“I’m not much for saying goodbyes. Well, Bob you’re going to have to come see me here at Zagbag Café instead, okay,” I sighed.

Chuck laughed.

Bob nodded. “I’m calling you. The sun doesn’t shine when you’re gone. You brighten my day,” he sniffled.

“There, there Bob,” I smiled. “How would you like a piece of strawberry pie, on the house?”

“That would be right fine,” he grinned.

“Saul, you forgot to take out the trash, again,” I fussed.

“All right, I’ll get it,” he replied.

“Lighten up,” Jeff yelled at me.

“What is it with you? I have a business to run,” I exclaimed.

“Oh, this is your business?” he smirked.

“The last I checked it is,” I stared him down.

“Excuse me,” Jeff sighed.

“Okay,” I smiled.

In the coming weeks Jeff became important to me. Jeff is like the smile that I look for in my day. I need to see him for some unspoken reason.

The moment I kissed Jeff I knew I had to have him. Ooh, in the way he makes love.

Friday is Funfair Show Day, at six o’clock, primetime. I put on a song and dance performance for fun and enjoyment at the Zagbag Café.

“Jill, you must be a special kind of person, to be able to uplift folk’s hearts the way you do. You make such a difference in your customer’s day,” Rosalyn shared with me.

“That’s something I’ve only hoped I’d do, to touch someone, and let them know that someone cares in this awful world. I’m glad that I’ve succeeded,” I opened up to her.

What am I looking for? Maybe, all I’m looking for is a place that feels like home. Everything I want is right here in this city. Here, I have friends who love and care about me. They make me feel, like I’m home. I thought to myself and I nodded in tears.

Approximately two weeks later southern crops drooped and failed to grow. Following that, famine hit diverse lands mercilessly.

The broadcaster announced over the TV, “It is the reddest alert. 29 people weep, 89 ministers meet. The world lay in worry right now. Will we have to call out the troops?”

I patted my right foot restlessly for a moment, and sighed.

Several years came and gone, and the famine had gotten worse. I’ve been probing for answers to the whys? Why must there be suffering and woe? Why does love hurt? Why does joy pass me by? Why do I wake up with tears in my eyes? Why is man doom to die? Is there someone who could give me answers to these questions that trouble me so?

While I was resting in bed, I heard a still small voice whisper in my core, “Go to Troy, Maine. Practice yoga for two years. Utter meditations to become in tune with oneself and with the world. Positive affirmations will come from your soul to chase away the fear, doubt and uncertainty. Perhaps hope will be discovered.”

I traveled to Maine, and did just that for two years. I felt like a holy priestess on a mission of love, becoming an answer, not a problem.

I returned from my travels feeling stronger, thinking about what I had discovered on my journey in Maine. I’ve learned these things, how to take care of myself; I figured out what I needed to do about the world’s dismal plight, and how things could ultimately work out. Yes, I’ve learned how to make things right.

My toxic infatuation with Bob crashed in and out, such as the ocean waves.

“They say I need a girl to settle me down,” Bob said.

“Am I that mystical princess?” I asked him.

He said nothing.

That evening, I serenaded Bob as I played my guitar.

He licked my breasts, and we just held on to each other during the late hours that night. It was the best day of my years.

I cried at even the thought of thinking of letting him go.

The day after, I went to Costco for a gallon of milk, and it cost me $6.10. That meant the world was spiraling downward.

Right away, I stockpiled loads of freeze dried meals for my café, so that the community could still find a decent dinner over at Zagbag Café. Doing that in itself helped my business stay afloat, during those difficult days.

Patrons begin calling me Mama.

The parallel roads that stood beside each other joined at a certain point and brought Jeff and me together. We wedded each other in June. I was given a silver heart-shaped locket as a wedding gift. I imprisoned a photo of Jeff and me inside it. It’s been blissful melancholy ever since.

We had one kid, in spite of my previous decision to not have any children. I named our baby girl, Tina.

There was a rough bout that followed, the kid cried for hours on end. I couldn’t rest that night.

We went to Sears as a family, the next week. I bought little Tina some Lego blocks, crayons and a coloring book. I bought a lemon nut bar for myself.

Jeff made a beeline for the housewares department.

So far, it’s been thirty years of famine and draught. During the years of Earth’s demise, I ate cotton for around 10 of those years. I got tired of it.

Over five weeks ago world leaders ordered to identify, clarify, and classify. The other week, we sent out a SOS to Jupiter to save our souls, that we might find refuge. Our planet received feedback that planet Jupiter is in fact able to grow vegetation. They’ve named a land Forney, a good land it is.

Lately we’ve been making preparations to vacate Earth to Jupiter by way of Spaceprobe6 Ship.

The Spaceprobe6 flying transportation is coming for four hundred of us tomorrow. Yesterday, I kissed this world goodbye in anticipation of arriving to the new world. I’ve been forced into exile, because Earth deceased. I’ve kissed our last hello goodbye. Optimism is bubbling within me. It’s going to get easier.

In a little while we’ll be in a new world. I can hardly wait. We will have enough love for each other, and enough to eat. We will be at Jupiter soon, our new home.

Looking at Jupiter’s morning, I realized we’re safe, for now. As sure as I’m standing here in the new world, all the days and the years tells me that my being is a part of amazing merciful grace without end.

I suppose Earth was never meant to be, it was wrong. It has been said that Heaven and Earth will pass away, but I can’t help but long for a good world, something like Mars, with an unending foundation that builder and maker is immortal, everlasting.