The Drive Up North

*** Content warning. This story does contain violence and may not suitable for all readers. ***

Gina

“Seriously Gina, c’mon can you hit the gas?”

“We are going to get stuck in the middle of no man’s land up here!”

This is Devon, my boyfriend screaming in my ear as I am driving that day. He had wanted to go for a drive, told me it would be an adventure. We left my house about ten in the morning when the weather was mild, and the sun was out. Going to see the mountains in New Hampshire on the first weekend of November. Ski season had not started yet to and the hikers and leaf peepers had left the area. It seemed liked a perfect day to get away, smoke weed and have that adventure. At nineteen every day seemed like it could be an adventure, however, this day turned out to be something that would change our lives forever. Of course, Leo is with us. Leo is always with us. He was Devon’s best friend, his connection for pot and he usually had money which Devon was usually lacking since he had gotten fired from every job he had since leaving high school.

The weather that started out great has changed to a Nor' Easter winter storm hitting the New Hampshire mountains and the roads were becoming slick. I am driving Leo’s car and having a tough time on the slippery roads. The snow has started to come down hard and it is blinding. I can not see very well, the wind shield wipers keep freezing up. I am starting to become anxious. Leo is sitting in the back seat completely stoned and Devon is yelling in my ear. I can feel myself becoming more and more tense.

We are driving back after spending a day just driving around. Most of the afternoon I am listening to Devon and Leo talk about plans to scheme someone or who is the latest person in our neighborhood of Rochester, New Hampshire that they do not like. I have listened all day to their rhetoric, but now it is getting dark. I am tired and hungry. Now I am also driving in the snow as Devon starts cursing and yelling.

Devon and I had been together two years. Devon had been there when my dad died. That was a tough time. My dad took his own life. He had lost his job and could not handle. Devon bought flowers for my mom as well as me. My mom was always trying to work as many jobs as she could to support my brother and me. She wanted me to be cared for and happy. She liked Devon. She thought he had not found his “niche.” Many people liked Devon. He could be charming, charismatic even. In the beginning I was surprised when he wanted to hang out with me. He would come to the coffee shop where I worked and wait for me to have a break so we could talk.

Leo was usually with him and would wait in the car.

The snow was piling up fast on the windshield. Devon and Leo started to chant my name trying to make me laugh, instead I am becoming more anxious. I pull off the highway as we are skidding across lanes. This is when Devon really laid into me! I was shaking. We are in a town I never heard of from what I could see of the green exit sign.

“What the hell, Gina!”

“Devon, we have to get off the road, I can’t see!”

“Where the F are you going, Jesus Christ” I know that he really didn’t mean to sound the way he did.

My hands are trembling. The wiper arms had finally frozen crossed forming an x on Leo’s old junk box car. Leo reaches for the wheel from the back seat. I try to hold on, but before I know it, he has turned the wheel. I feel the car lose any traction and everything starts to move in slow motion. We spin around and then as my foot is still on the gas we drive right off the road. We are going downhill. I can't breathe. I can't scream. Tree branches flash in front of us. It feels like the vehicle has a life of its own as we move onto what does feel like the middle of nowhere. Time stands still until we do too as Leo’s car plows into a tree whose branches pierce through the wind shield. Devon hits his head. Leo comes flying over the front seat and lands on Devon and me. Neither Devon nor Leo are wearing a seat belt

It is dark and light at the same time. I am scared and relieved at the same time.

“Are you okay? Devon? Leo?”

Devon speaks first. “What the hell!” He is bleeding from his temple. “Jesus, Gina”

Leo starts to laugh, “She cannot drive for shit man” speaking to Devon as he always does.

In front of us about 500 feet is a mobile home where a light comes on.

We manage to get the front driver’s door open. I tie an old tee shirt from Leo’s trunk around Devon’s head wound after cleaning it with snow. We then start walking towards the light.

Beverly

I was just starting to get into bed when Archie, my black lab starts barking his head off. Then I hear a loud crash and shake my head as I know someone has run off Rte. 28 again. It has happened before, but today of all days I am in no mood for dealing with strangers.

“Who the heck is out driving on a day like this?” I mumble to myself as I was moving my aching body around trying to find the kitchen light.

As my hand finds the switch, I glance out the bay window of my trailer. I see all three of them stumbling out of an old car that’s remains were now wrapped around my white birch tree. Two boys and a girl, young. One was bleeding. “Honest to God, Archie I hope they are not on drugs, I really don’t need this crap especially today!”

I put my robe on, start the water for tea and grab my phone from the charger. A social worker from the visiting nurse association was here earlier. She talked to me about hospice again as the cancer had metastasized much faster. It was now in my bones. She left me forms to fill out including notifying next of kin. Hard for me. I tucked the forms in my notebook.

The police chief was here too. A small town with nothing going on so he must harass the old timers. A guy from the hospital put this machine which connected to my phone. I could push a button that hung around my neck if I needed anything. It would ring into the police station since I had no one else I could list as a contact. My neighbor Lila, who was about a mile away from me would check in, but I did not want to bother her. Chief Harris insisted I get this stupid thing as I was I out here by myself where I had lived alone for thirty years!

Now these three amigos must bother me. I take the handgun from my nightstand just in case.

Strange to watch them, the boys walking together, one holding the other up, but the girl she was behind them struggling to walk in the snow. Following them, she seemed lost out of place, yet she seems in charge. Occasionally, she tries to steady the other two as they are stumbling.

My mind flashed to how I young I was when I met ex-husband, just in my late teens. Those years sometimes would leave my memory as they were before the abuse. Seeing this girl now made me wonder if there were signs beforehand that were ignored.

“Why the hell are they out here, Archie?”

Leo

I’m not sure why I let Devon talk me into the drive that day. I’m not sure why especially with Gina who really drove me nuts. I’m not sure what Devon saw in Gina either. She was cute, but it was always like having a little sister with us. I think Devon just liked to have someone who followed his word.

Devon insisted she drive so we could just get high. She was a horrible driver and then she crashes my car into a tree.

Here we are making our way up to this mobile rat tin house. I’m practically carrying Devon as he is bleeding from his head. Gina is behind us crying and reaching out for Devon every few minutes. Freezing and trudging through snow like I have never seen before. My cell is dead, and Gina says she can’t get a signal. Devon lost his or so he says. We make it to the doorstep and this old lady who looks like a ghost answers the door. Her hair is wild and blowing in the wind. She is holding back her dog who is ready to bite into anyone of us. Why did I come up here? I don’t know. Devon is one of those people it is hard to say no to. He has been my best friend since we were in the fourth grade.

“Gina, can you help, me?” I yell as the old lady agrees to let us in.

Gina pulls up beside me and we lift Devon onto the couch covered in dog hairs. The lady then tells me to sit too and asks, “what the hell are we doing up there?”

Gina does speak for us explaining,"we didn’t know there would be a storm." She and the old lady seem to connect right away. They start talking about dogs. They both like labs; blah, blah, blah...

No ambulance or police would make it out now. I didn’t want police I smelled like weed and God knows what Devon had been doing before we left as he was already stoned this morning.

Gina helps the lady bring us some blankets. She wraps one around herself.

The lady who says her name is Beverly hands me a glass of milk and a ham sandwich. I am starving and start eating like it is my last meal.

My eyes start to drift. I see Gina put a bandage on Devon’s head. He is snoring. It feels good to be warm and safe.

Gina

Thank God this lady, Beverly was there. We would have froze to death. She reminded me of my grandmother and her trailer was at least warm, though it needed some cleaning. Her dog Archie was so friendly once he stopped barking. She told me she just had to call his name and if someone was bothering her, he would attack.

I’m not sure what got into me that night, but I start to tell Beverly things I had not said to anyone. Like how I was still crying for my dad. That my dad used to call me “Sweet Gina.” I express how my mom was never home, that I liked to bake and the customers at the coffee shop often asked for my cookies. I tell her how I worried about my brother as he is only seven. This lady listened and then asks about Devon.

I say Devon is there for me. That he sometimes yells, but I am sure he loves me. Sometimes he belittles me. He calls me names, but he doesn't mean it. Somehow saying it out loud felt different.

No one had ever asked me about Devon’s behavior before.

The guys were asleep on the couch when Beverly starts talking. She has cancer it is now her in her bones. She has no one to help, but she is used to being on her own. She tells me she left her ex-husband thirty years ago. He yelled at her. He hit her. He tried to break her spirit. She left him. She also left her daughter which was her biggest regret, but she had no way to support her. Her daughter found her and visited her once since she has lived up here. She never forgave Beverly for leaving. Beverly said she tried to tell her how sorry she was, but the words didn’t come out.

Hours have passed, it is like two in the morning. She then tells me that she has little time left. She needs someone to help her in her last days or they will send her to a nursing home. She tells me there is more than $20,000 dollars in this pink shopping bag with flowerson it which is hanging in her closet. She asks me to go get it. I am flabbergasted I can’t believe this lady is telling me this.

She says bring the black notebook on her dresser too. I bring her the bag and the notebook. She then takes the pen she has clipped to this notebook and pulls out a form.

“Gina, can I count on you to help me in my final days?”

I did not know what to do so I nod.

“Wonderful, I will leave you this money and Archie if you will let me die at home here where I am safe.”

“Also, you will need to leave Devon!”

“What?”

“Leave Devon or no deal, he will destroy your spirit!”

I sign the form and watch as she writes in her book.

Beverly

I’m not sure what got into me that night. I start telling this girl, Gina my life story. I felt like I was talking to my old self. I even tell her about the money. Somehow, I trust her. The money I had worked and saved to someday open my own shop just never happened. My life had been about escaping the bad choices of my youth. Don’t get me wrong I’ve lived up here and felt comfortable. I got to see the mountains every day since moving here. My dog Archie has brought me so much joy and the neighbors, the people in town all friendly. It has been a nice place to escape to. However, my daughter has not spoken to me in ten years and I wouldn’t know the first thing about where to find her. My ex died from drinking. I don’t have anyone, so yes, this Gina she may be the answer so I can die here where I am safe. Besides I like her and if I could not be there for my own daughter, well....

That boy, Devon, starts to stir when I ask Gina what she would do with money. She wants to go to school. Culinary school. Open her own bakery or café someday. She kept asking me “Are you sure?”

Devon is suddenly standing right over her.

“What’s this I hear about money?”

“Devon you should lay down.”

“What’s in that bag?” he asks as he grabs the pink shopping bag from Gina’s lap.

“Holy shit, Leo get up!”

“Give the bag back to her!" my hands clench the gun in my robe pocket.

Leo starts to walk over as I pulled the gun out. He must have seen my movement as he lounges at me and struggles to get the it away from me. I yell for Archie who then bites Leo’s pant leg and drags him off me, but not before Leo has taken the gun. Leo turns holding the gun in the air and then directly at Devon while he struggles with Archie. The trigger goes off and the bullet hits Devon right in the chest. There is a blast of light and darkness at the same time. It all happens so fast, but as I watched Devon go down, my ex-husband flashes before me.

Leo starts screaming “Oh my God! Devon! I’m so sorry man!”

Gina is crying and shaking.

Then I hit the button around my neck. When the dispatcher chimes in asking if I am okay, my reply is “I just shot an intruder who tried to steal my morphine.”

Leo

I was in a daze. The scene plays over and over in my head. I shot Devon. It was an accident, but given my record I know the police will not see it that way. The old lady, why is she taking the blame? I was rubbing my head trying to wake up from this nightmare. Instead, I am at the police station replaying the whole night.

No charges the police tell me. Beverly had invited us in, and Devon went for her morphine. It was self-defense. She asked if Gina could stay with her because she was dying. Gina gave a statement at the house and did not have to come to the station. In fact, Gina called her mom and said she was staying there. I kept rubbing my eyes.

“How the hell did this day happen?” I mutter

The police chief comes in. They are sending me home to Rochester, cruise will take me. Devon died, no charges it was self-defense. I can get my car sometime later.

Gina

I took care of Beverly for three weeks before she died. I gave her pain medications. Helped with her needs. Fed her while she could still eat. She continued to want cookies most often. I cleaned the house and played with Archie. I tried to make sure she saw the mountains every day from her picture window. I got to know a few of her neighbors who came by with food. Beverly, I learned, kept to herself but she was a nice person, loved to bake like me and had a beautiful garden in the springtime.

I took the cash, Archie, and the black notebook with me when I left the house. Turns out Beverly did not own the house, her neighbor Lila did. I wanted to try to find her daughter. I tried for a year with no luck.

After I returned to Rochester one of my neighbors told me that Leo had moved to California and was working with his brother selling used cars. I think I saw him once downtown but I did not say anything.

Before the police came that night there was a look of understanding between us that this night would never be mentioned again. I knew Leo had a record and what would be the point of him going to jail. It was an accident. There really was nothing more to say.

No one ever asked about the money. When Devon was shot the pink bag with the flowers on the side fell straight to the ground. As Leo went to Devon, I took the bag and tucked it under the kitchen table. Archie laid down beside it. When the police left with Leo and the ambulance took Devon. I looked inside. The bills were all there. Somehow the bag and the money missed any blood.

Devon’s mother died last year. I struggled with telling her what really happened. I just believed she would have then tried to blame Leo or me. I decided to leave honesty aside and look at another truth. Devon would have taken that money and possibly killed anyone for it. He was shot by accident, but it was self defense for me.

I used the money as I said I would. I signed up for the culinary program at the community college. After graduation I still had enough money to open my own café. Archie was with me the whole time. I’m not sure why, but I never opened the little black notebook.

Today is the day! It is the morning of the grand opening of “Sweet Gina’s Café”. I am getting ready and look over at my closet. There is the pink shopping bag and inside is the note book where I left it three years ago. I open it up. It is a journal. It is a recipe book. It is full of thoughts and ideas. It is Beverly. Then close to the last page I find the note she wrote to me.

“Gina don’t let anyone ever crush your spirit. You are worth more than you know!”

I close the book and head to the life I have decided that I am destined for.