The Detective

“Nobody can hear you scream in the vacuum of space, or so they say,” A click rang loud in Hatz’s ear. He closed his eyes, sighing at his defeat. He dropped his bow staff, raising his hands and slowly standing as he moved out of his attack stance. He looked up at the space villain, staring at the end of a loaded blaster and the smug smile that gleamed brightly back. “Care to find out?” The villain quickly activated his magnet boots and reached for the airlock lever.

“Oh please!” A loud voice echoed throughout the spaceship halls. Hatz and the villain turned to the direction of the voice fast. The Detective stood in front of the assembly of fallen minions, his defeated foes laying and groaning in pain. Hatz smiled, wondering why he ever doubted the Detective, because the guy came through. “Don’t be so one dimensional. That move is so predictable. At least do something unpredictable.”

“Unpredictable!?” The violent word reached the Detective’s ears, raging with hatred. Hatz saw that his inter-dimensional friend’s face switched from smug to serious, and Hatz felt his smile disappear too. “I’ll show you unpredictable!” The villain’s blaster turned from Hatz to the Detective, as the Detective’s hands started shining, glowing with the blue dimensional energy coursing through his body. Hatz closed his eyes, expecting the bang of a blaster. A moment of silence…and then…

BANG!

*****

Hatz woke up, his alarm beeping loudly in his ears. He groaned and pushed aside the thin, brown-and-red plaid comforter and gray striped sheets to slide his shirtless body out of bed. His jogging shorts stuck to the man’s legs, and he realized forgot to go to bed with his fan on. He wiped some sweat off his face and slid his hand down his muscular torso to his shorts, pulling them free from his sticky legs. He turned over to his bedside table, flicking on the small fan and angling it higher. Standing up, he stretched up to the sky, releasing the tension in his joints, and letting his armpits breath with the fan rustling the hair on his armpits and pecs. He walked over to the curtain, opening it a crack to peer on the busy Friday morning street of his small town.

Hatz took a deep breath and started to get ready for his day. A big man like Hatz had multiple options for employment: prison guard, bouncer, psych ward security, moving company. He chose to work as a respite care worker of exceptional learners, giving parents and guardians a break from the full time position of caring for autistic children and trauma students. There were good days and bad days, with bad days resulting in biting and pinching, but Hatz found fulfillment in caring for children who need prompted to say “thank you”.

After gulping down some protein shake with oatmeal and showering, Hatz slipped into a scarlet tee shirt with blue ripped shorts and gray sneakers, before slipping on his signature GRCC ball cap and grabbing his duffle bag by his apartment door. He did a quick check inside, counting down the items inside and double checking every one. His swim shorts, towel, wallet, blue tee shirt and tan khakis, red hoodie, extra phone charger, and package of granola bars were all accounted for, and soon his apartment keys would join them. As he was leaving, he stopped, realizing he forgot his phone and his respite care fanny pack. The pack was given to him when he started working at the clinic, Garantie’s Respite Care Clinic, and it was filled with common respite care items, like hand sanitizer and baby wipes, but also some candies. Many of his clients need some edible motivation to complete a task, reinforcing good and appropriate behaviours.

Hatz grabbed his phone with earbuds and the fanny pack, quickly stuffing the fanny pack into the duffle bag and swinging it over his shoulder. He slipped his earbuds in his ears and locked his apartment door behind him. He started his favourite Elton John playlist, humming along to his favourite song as he walked out on the street.

A few people passed him on his walk to the clinic. A mother and her son, a happy couple holding hands and staring at their phones, an older gentleman with his groceries, and a businessman talking about stocks as he held his head high and important. As Hatz finished crossing the street, a man, a little bit taller than himself, bumped his shoulder. He dropped a strange device, beeping softly, which he had been focused on instead of where he was going.

“Oh, I am so sorry!” Hatz said, stopping and pulling his earbuds out. “Are you okay?” The man, sporting a newsboy cap that looked kind of familiar to Hatz, picked up the device and stood up slowly. The device looked like a TV remote, with a small attached screen. It had two knobs under the bottom of the screen, an extendable antenna, and buttons and switches on the right side of the screen.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” The man flicked a few switches and pressed on his screen. “It’s not like a dimensional portal finder is hard to make, or all parts are multiversal-” The man stopped guilting Hatz as he turned and saw him standing there, with surprise and confusion. His face dropped into a gasp and into a smile, and he made a motion to hug Hatz. He stopped, reevaluating the look on Hatz’s face, coming to some sort of conclusion. The man clicked the device to his shoulder harness holster, like a ninja sheathing his sword on his back. “Sorry, you just…look like someone I know.” The man stopped to take a breath, looking at Hatz.

Hatz just stared at the man, examining the strange outfit. His outfit was certainly unique, as the newsboy cap was not the only eccentric thing about him. He was sporting an undone scarlet bow tie and a white-collared, long sleeve shirt with singed cuffs, with a blue vest under his harness holster and black pants. His high top shoes were red with white laces, tied up nicely all the way but covered in dirt or ash.

“Do…do I know you?” Hatz stood there, stunned at the man. Suddenly, the device on the back of the man began beeping.

“Hang on.” The man said, pulling out the device. “My scanner is telling me something. As a friend of mine once said, ‘It goes bing when there’s stuff’. It also has a grappling hook, infrared light, ultraviolet light, scent tracker, and a regular flashlight. Mostly, it opens porrrrrr-got to go! See you soon, Hatz!” The man ran off down an alley, using the walls to vault himself over the fence. Hatz, recovering from his shock, blinked twice and continued on his way.

*****

Hatz groaned as he closed the door of the clinic behind him, exhausted and sore. Another bad day, with pinches and bites for him and physical assault from a client’s knee for a coworker. He was going to need a pick-me-up after a long day like that. Should he get his usual beer at the ale house, or grab some pints of ice cream from the gas station?

After the day he had, Hatz decided on ice cream. He needed the sweet touch of chocolate fudge delight ice cream on his tongue. Walking to the gas station, he reflected on the rough day, thinking over what he could have done differently to improve the lives of the children. He rubbed his arm, massaging the pinching and bruises from punches. Lost in thought, he almost walked right past the gas station. There were only two cars there, so he should not have an audience of customers or workers. He turned up to the front entrance of the store and entered.

The first thing Hatz did was make sure his boyfriend was standing behind the counter. He was there, tapping buttons on the screen and getting ready to close with his co-worker.

“Hey you!” he said, calling over to Hatz. “We’re about to close, so then we can talk.” Hatz stared at him, longingly.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Hatz said, moving a bit closer to him. “I just came for an ice cream pint.”

“Well, go get some, then!” He flashed a smile at him. “I need to change the till.”

“I will,” Hatz said. “Thank you.” Hatz moved fast over to the freezer and read each flavour, searching for his favourite. Not seeing it, Hatz instead looked at the adjacent candy aisle, grabbing a peanut butter chocolate bar. He dashed over to the counter, handing the candy bar to Liam.

“Oh, good choice!” Liam said, ringing in the candy bar. “One of my favourites, as you know.” Hatz pulled out his wallet, looking for a five dollar bill. “Here’s your change. Shall we meet you at your apartment?” Liam handed over the few quarters and dimes of change. Hatz nodded, smiled at Liam, and turned to leave.

“See you later,” Hatz said, waving with the ice cream.

Walking home, he decided to take the long way home. It was still light out and he could use the fresh air to clear his head. His aching body from the pinches and bites were enraged by this, communicating that his body would prefer to return to bed and rest. Ignoring the pain, Hatz turned up an empty side street, listening to the silence of the peaceful street. He had not been walking for two minutes when he saw the man from earlier in the day walking on the other side of the street, staring at the blinking device. He was looking a little different. With his cap gone, he was revealing more of his hair, which was long like skateboarders and white with black roots, looking kind of windblown.

“Hey!” Hatz called out to him. The man didn’t stop or even look at him. “Hey, wait up!” Hatz ran after him, crossing the street and breaking into a soft jog to catch up. “Excuse me!” Reaching the man, he tapped his shoulder. The man turned quickly. Besides the missing cap, four of the bracelets were gone, almost completely revealing the mirror tattoo on his wrist. He still had his hourglass necklace. The bow tie was now tied, and his sleeves were rolled up, not singed. His shoes were also clean, showing off the bright red hue.

“Can I help you, creeper?” The man said, turning back to his device.

“I saw you earlier.” Hatz stated, trying to keep up with him again. “You were surprised to see me, and now you don’t care. Who are you?”

“What are you talking about?” he said, matter of factly. “I don’t know who you are. We’ve never-” He stopped and thought for a second. “Oh, the timeline is off, I guess. Call me the Detective. Don’t like my name, as it reminds me of my dad. So it’s just Detective. Also, stay away from me. The world is in dan-hang on.” The Detective turned back to Hatz. “How much did I say to you? Did I give too much of your future away? Wait, don’t tell me. Did I tell you everything? Wait…never mind. Tell me.”

“Not much,” Hatz said. “Just that, I looked like someone you knew..”

“Uh-huh.” The Detective turned back to his device. “How long ago was that?”

“This afternoon.” Hatz said, managing to keep up with him. “What is going on? You ran into me earlier and it seemed like you knew me.” Suddenly, the Detective stopped. The device was beeping wildly and the screen glowed sky blue.

“Don’t move any further.” he cautioned Hatz. “Take another step forward and you will be transported to another planet. Could be good, could be dangerous. You could land on a planet that makes you burst into song, or an undead planet, or a planet of zany cartoons. Don’t land in that middle one. You go there and come back with a virus, then your whole planet dies. Don’t worry, though. I’m not opening a portal there” The Detective turned the knob on the right to the left, tuning the device’s screen. “Come on. Don’t fail me now. Is this where he is?”

“Okay, you have fun.” Hatz said, backing away slowly. “I’m going to go.” Hatz turned to continue his walk when he came face to face with a blinding blue light. It was small, but it was slowly getting wider and taller. “Uhhhh…” Hatz stared at the widening spec of light, backing up and giving himself more distance between himself and the light. It soon got taller than Hatz, becoming over six feet high and six feet wider. The wind began to blow, pushing and pulling Hatz towards the light. The Detective noticed the wind and looked around. He gasped and reached for Hatz.

“There’s the portal! I was opening it behind us! Silly me!” The Detective’s face changed, from joy to fear. “Grab my hand!” The Detective cried out. Hatz reached, but it was too late. He sucked into the blue light, drowning in the blowing wind as it dragged him farther from the world he knew and into the unknown.

*****

Hatz slowly opened his eyes. His eyes took a while to adjust before realized he was laying down in some body of water and staring up at the sun. He sat up, assessing his surroundings. Apart from being wet, the ground was coarse and fine, warm to the touch and sticking together because of the water. Hatz looked at the water, feeling the salty aroma of salt water, and saw that he was on land, far away from the mainland with what looked like leagues of ocean between. He could see mounds of earth on the horizon, dark and faded. He stood up, soaking wet. The salt water made his eyes sting a bit and his mouth taste a little funny, so he walked further inland with the small waves as they crashed on the shore.

Hatz looked around for his duffle, remembering he had it with him as he left the clinic. He caught sight of it, overturned next to a pile of rocks, down the shoreline but not near the ocean. He slid his tee shirt off, wringing out the excess water as best as he could as he walked to the duffle. As he got closer to the duffle, he could see around the corner of the shoreline, and he saw a little rowboat, perched on the shore away from the ocean so as not to drift away.

Hatz laid out the shirt on a rock next to his duffle and he moved closer to the solitary rowboat to examine it further. It was painted white, with the three seats left untouched by paint and leaving the varnished wood exposed. The rowboat was accompanied by two oars, also painted white and varnished handles, sitting neatly inside next to some rope and a couple of jack knives. There was also a dark purple hiking backpack, neatly set up in the front of the boat and staring at the treeline. Hatz followed the gaze of the backpack, looking at where the beach ends and the forest begins. There was a sign by an opening in the trees, where a path had been formed by many travellers. Hatz walked closer to the sign, to get a better look at the writing. The words, which looked as red as blood, sent a shudder through his spine. Hatz was never one for adventure, so the warning on the sign shook through his body and left a terrified feeling in his stomach:

Welcome to Lighthouse Island.

My treasure is for any, if he so wishes.

Take a risk, and sleep with the fishes.

“Okay.” Hatz said, having had his fill of the adventure. “I’m out. I should go home.” He turned to get his shirt and duffle bag, but saw the Detective standing with the device, which was weirdly not blinking and beeping. He stared at Hatz, with a straight face and unblinking eyes.

“You know you have a tramp stamp of a pride flag, right?” He asked, moving past him. Hatz sighed, closing his eyes in frustration. “You coming, sir?”

“Okay, my name is Hatz, and I am actually not coming. I want to go home.” a frustrated Hatz strolled over to his shirt and pulled it over his head.

“What’s a Hatz?” The Detective asked, watching as Hatz picked up his duffle bag.

“It’s a nickname.” Hatz answered. “My name is Zachary and I wear a lot of hats to work, so it’s a nickname some of our verbal clients came up with.”

“Cute,” The Detective slid the device into its holster on his back. “‘ Well, Hatz, come on.”

“What?”

“Come on.” The Detective moved to the path in the forest. “We’re going on an adventure.”

“No, I’m not going into the death forest.” Hatz said, facing the ocean. “I’m going to…” Hatz stopped, wondering where he was going. He fell through a bright light on the street and landed on a forest island in the middle of nowhere. He sighed and turned back to the Detective, frustrated with his situation. “How do I get home?” The Detective scoffed silently, walking into the forest. Hatz stepped back, clamping his fingers into his fists and slowly unclamped them.

“Come on, Hatz!” he called. Hatz groaned and jogged to catch up. When Hatz caught up, the Detective turned to him. “You fell through a portal that my device made which brought you to another planet…I think. Could be a spaceship. The air is a little too perfect. No insects.”

“Like…a sci-fi story?” Hatz asked, stepping over a fallen tree on the path. “Like those space TV shows?”

“Like that, yeah, except real.” The Detective said, stopping to examine some leaves on the ground. “Not all of them are friendly. I hope this one is friendly. No threats of outer space here. Actually, it kind of looks like it’s a good old fashioned treasure hunt.”

“How could you tell?” Hatz asked, slipping a bit on some mud.

“Dude, there’s a reason I call myself a detective.” he rolled eyes as he stood up and continued on his way. “The power of deduction is a great superpower to have. I studied with quite a few detectives, and all of them helped me enhance my observation skills. You might have noticed a rowboat fit for three or four, as well as the super ominous sign about treasure. Trust me: it’s a treasure hunting situation. For instance, you had a hat when you fell through the portal and you made no effort to find it.” The Detective pulled out the DPS and pressed a button on the right side of the screen. A compartment opened at the top and it revealed Hatz’s GRCC hat. He tossed it to Hatz, who grabbed it before it landed in a pile of mud. “So what made you choose employment as a caregiver to children with behavioural issues?”

"Excuse me?" Hatz watched as the Detective led the way through the dense forest. As they continued following the path, the forest grew darker, with the thick leaves blocking out the sunlight above. “Okay, there is no way you could know that!”

“Your hat,” The Detective said. “Garantie’s Respite Care Clinic. It could be a clinic giving respite care to the elderly, but usually that’s done in nursing homes, to help those who are unable to move easily get the care they need right where they live. Could be for adult care, which you could work with, but you’re more likely to work with children, given the amount of respite clinics for kids I’ve seen in the vast multiverse. They’re common, yet rare at the same time.” He brushed aside a tree branch. “How far off am I?”

“No, you’re right,” Hatz said, stepping over a fallen log. “We do have some adult clients, but I do primarily work with children. I…I just sort of fell into it. I actually went to school to become a fitness coach and then an Internet influencer.”

“Right,” The Detective said, sarcastically. “Because that’s what your world needs: Internet influencers.”

“Excuse me?” Hatz felt his anger levels rise.

“I mean, think about it,” The Detective said. “Out of all the Internet influencers, who goes out and actually does what they’re trying to influence? You could raise awareness about trash in the ocean, but how many of those influencers actually go and bring about change? You can tell whoever whatever social issue you want, but it’s nothing but empty words if you’re not doing what you can to bring about the change you want to see besides ‘raising awareness’. I’ve seen too many people ‘raise awareness of change’, but not actually do their part. Not everyone does this, obviously, but there are too many who do.” Hatz stopped to think for a second, trying to decide whether or not the Detective had a point or if he was absolutely offended by this.

“Wow, that’s a pretty bleak outlook, sir!” Hatz raised his voice, louder than before, frustrated and angry. “I can’t believe you would have such a terrible view of humanity. How many people don’t practice what they preach?”

“You’d be surprised,” The Detective flatly said. “I find it hard to believe you are that naive about humanity’s capabilities. You’re gay, aren’t you?”

“Okay, that’s different,” Hatz said. “We’re moving into a more accepting world. Slowly, sure, but I think we’re getting there. And that has nothing to do with humanity or practicing what you preach.”

“Sure, but the amount of persecution you get just by being yourself must have given you some negative view about people.”

“Why do you have such a negative outlook on humanity?” Hatz asked, calming down a bit.

“Well, my dad was a piece of work,” The Detective said, brushing mosquitos off his arm. “He had high expectations, and too much pressure for me to finish his work and follow in his footsteps. Then, a man fell from the stars. He helped me escape my dad and explore the universe, both mine and his. At first, he and I helped everybody we could, but eventually, I decided to leave and be more of an anthropologist and watch but not interfere. We developed the device, and I went on my own. As an anthropologist, I found that every human and alien is flawed, with each world more broken than the last. Face it: everyone is a hypocrite.”

“Hey, that’s not true.” Hatz argued. “If that were true, then you’d be a hypocrite.”

“Who says I’m not? Nobody’s perfect.”

“Come on. You’re not a hypocrite. You’re being too critical of yourself.” Hearing this comment made Hatz think. There was something about this man. Something that warmed Hatz’s offended heart and changed the way he saw this human from a different universe.

“I see your respite care side coming out. You don’t know anything about me.”

“No, I don’t. But I do know that even though you think humans and aliens are hypocrites, you still keep exploring and travelling. Because of that, I would like to get to know you better.” Hatz stated, following the man. The Detective stopped in his tracks, turning back to look at Hatz.

“No, you wouldn’t. You’d run away from me as soon as you could.” The Detective moved closer to Hatz, close enough that he was looking down at Hatz with a strong, unwavering gaze. “Look, we need to go this way because my scanner is picking up heat signatures, but barely. They can help us find a massive energy source, which we need to get you home. I dropped the device in the ocean when we fell through and it needs to recharge. Hopefully, the power source will be able to charge it enough to get you home safely.”

“Okay, fine, but what if I wanted to stay with you?”

“Now why would you do that?” The Detective turned back to the trail, continuing on.

“I don’t know,” Hatz said, shrugging his shoulders and sliding his hands into his damp pockets. They were no longer drenched in sea water, but they were drenched in sweat. “I guess…you seem kind of lonely. I mean, I’m trained to observe human nature and make an assessment, and I kind of get that from you.

“Believe me, I’m not.”

“Maybe, but-”

“Hold up.” The Detective and Hatz stopped, stepping behind a tree trunk. They looked around the tree trunk and saw four shapes, looking down at the ground. They were people and they were talking to each other, deciding what to do.

“Should we go down?”

“Well, we’ve come all this way. Why turn around now?”

“I mean, the warning said not to, so maybe we should?”

“Please, this is the find of a lifetime. We can do so much with the treasure.”

“Is it really worth the risk?”

“The Treasure of Lighthouse Island is so worth it.”

“Come on. I’m going down. Are you coming with me or not?”

“Alright, let’s do this.” One by one, the four figures slid down the hole, disappearing into the earth. The Detective walked over to it, examined the dirt around the hole and looked deep into the hole. He pulled the device out of its holster and flipped a few switches. A blue light shone down the hole, scanning the area. He touched the screen with a few taps and turned back to Hatz. Hatz moved closer to the hole.

“Looks like this is a virtual reality simulator, and the crew is simulating a treasure hunt,” He looked at Hatz as he spoke. Hatz could have sworn he saw compassion in his eyes. “The power source must be somewhere nearby, but we could be wandering around forever to find it. We’ll ask the crew for help.”

“So, not much choice then, is there?” Hatz shrugged. “We need to live out the adventure with them?

“There’s not really a better option.”

“Then…here we come, adventure.” The Detective slid down the simulated hole, followed by Hatz, breathing deeply as he followed the spaceman.