The curse of immortality

In midst of almost a millennia of harming the very being that I once was, I've come to a realization of exactly what I've become. There was once a time where I would have done anything for the acquisition of this gift, only now I realize that at the depth of all of its former glory and power, lies the truth, this is a curse, not a gift. I was once full of passion, ideas, goals and love. The lifespan of the average human is ridiculously short, this is what drove me to hunt and become what I am now. I used to think the short life of a human was misery in itself, I thought of all the goals that I wouldn't be able to achieve in a single lifetime and sought out creatures of the night to extend my existence. This was a grave mistake, for now I realize that having a short life is what makes a life worth living. The idea of ceasing to exist is what makes individuals flourish and go after what they want, and live their best lives as if there was no tomorrow.

My current predicament leaves me with no choice but to feed on human blood. I've learnt of my limits, I could only go two days without a drop of blood, three if I was forced to do so. After four days I fall into paralysis and go into a deep almost comatose state, from which I can only wake at the taste of a few drops of blood. I've also learnt that this curse isn't just specific for human blood, I can survive off of other animals, but like all things, there is a catch, the moment I tasted my first morsel of human blood, I got addicted, after which nothing else would replace my need for it. This being the case I soon learnt that it was impossible to be a part of society or to fester any relationships with human kind.

The curse started when I was twenty-two years of age, at that point of my life I had many connections with people, I had friends, a good job at a relatively popular newspaper company, and even a lover. As time began to pass I started getting a lot of the same compliments. They would often compliment me saying I still looked twenty-two when almost a decade had passed. For a while I managed to pass it off as good genetics and skincare, this solution was short lived as all my loved ones, one after the other, started distancing themselves, three decades had passed and I still remained twenty-two in appearance. For the most part I stay away from any forms of relationships as I quickly surmised that for a being such as myself, personal connections would harm those I would get close to, as well as myself.

How does one go on living for hundreds of years without any personal connections or love? It's an extremely daunting task, one I have failed frequently in the past. There have been numerous decades where I pretended to be a college student, each time at a different university, with a different identity. College was perfect for your every day immortal being, I was able to have a close group of friends for four years each decade and at the end of the decade I would start a new Identity with a new group of friends. This cycle, though convenient was also easy to spot and recognize, my ordeals and friendship practices lead to attention being drawn to beings such as myself, people started to notice and the government started to form it's own departments that would handle us. It took a few centuries, but eventually these humans from the government and my kind were able to come to a cease fire of sorts. This understanding was that we wouldn't be hunted, so long as we made sure no human life was lost when we would feed.

Though the future seems uncertain, my eternal existence remains certain for it can't be vanquished of normal means. A life that is forever, the capability of doing whatever I desire, traveling wherever I want and the possibility of seeing human evolution. This is my eternal burden, my biggest and most powerful gift, and my worst and most tormenting curse, one I will carry for all of time.