The Crossing

The man tipped the left side of his hat again. This was all a game to him. Sam had come such a long way though; he couldn’t turn back now. He needed answers, not vague gestures.

“Is that the way?” Sam pointed down the left-hand side of the crossroads. The man shrugged.

“You must choose. I cannot tell you.”

“You can’t, or you won’t?” Sam asked, exhausted. He didn’t have time for this nonsense, he had a life to get back to.

“Well, what do you think?” The man responded, infuriatingly.

“Won’t.” Might as well be honest, Sam thought, there’s a first time for everything.

“Quite right.” The man smiled a black and toothless grin. “But that’s not actually what I meant. Which way do you think you should go? Not many options. Quite good odds if you ask me.”

“I am asking you!” Sam cried. “Besides, if I knew the bloody answer, I wouldn’t still be here now, would I?” His patience was wearing thin.

“Careful young man, that’s three questions you’ve asked now. Only two more to go. You really should be using them more wisely.”

The man had some nerve. He wasn’t at all like his description. Sam had been expecting someone kind, someone helpful. Still, he was pretty sure he was in the right place, he’d followed the instructions on the ivory pages down to a tee. He wanted to shriek at the man, who the hell do you think you are, don’t you know who I am, what I do for a living? But there was no point in wasting another question. How on earth was he going to figure out which way to go though? Especially since it was pretty apparent this man wasn’t going to just tell him. Not for nothing anyway.

Sam thought about the money stashed in the bag on his back. Twenty grand – he’d counted it. It was a lot, maybe not for some, but it was a damn good loot for Sam. He’d been hoping for more, it was true, so he didn’t really want to part with any of it. But if the book was to be believed, there was a far greater treasure waiting for him at the end of his journey.

“I can pay.”

The man chortled.

“Oh you can, can you? Interesting. How much?”

How much do you offer a man like this, Sam wondered? Whatever he suggested though, he’d better not let it sound like a question.

“One hundred dollars.” Sam said it slowly, as if it were a reasonable offer.

“Is that how much you think the way is worth boy? A measly Benjamin?”

Damn.

“Alright then, two?” Shit, a question. Sam prayed the man wouldn’t notice.

“No deal. Only one left now.”

Sam ground his teeth and tried to compose himself.

“Look. The book says you’re a reasonable guy. Goes on about you for pages. So you tell me how much.” That wasn’t even close to sounding like a question, Sam made sure of that.

“Ah yes, the book.”

The way the man said it gave Sam an uneasy feeling.

“Let me see it, the book.”

Sam pulled the little notebook out of his back pocket and held it out in front of him. The black cover felt hot in his hands, but he put that down to it having been stuffed in his jeans for God knows how long.

“I see. Now let me ask you boy, where do you think you are?”

Is he for real? Sam thought, growing more and more agitated. I’m in the middle of bloody nowhere, obviously. As soon as he began thinking about it though, Sam realised he didn’t really have a clue. Last thing he could remember he was breaking into some old lady’s safe and then, bang! He woke up in bed the next morning with a notebook on his chest and a backpack full of money by his side, no memory of how he or they got there.

“I – I don’t know.” Sam wanted so badly to ask the man, but he only had one question left.

“You really don’t, do you?” The man seemed somewhat surprised. “They mostly do by now. Still. We’ll work with what we’ve got. What does the book say?”

Sam opened the book to his place, marked by its silky black ribbon. He began to read.

“Once through the Forest of Fears, you will find yourself –”

“Stop.” The man ordered. “I meant to ask you, how did you find your time in the woods? Did you see the trees?”

Sam furrowed his brow.

“You mean those little shrubs a while back – wait, no, that’s not a question! Yeah, I saw them. Didn’t look much like a forest to me though, gotta be honest.”

“Do you now? How ironic. Please continue.” The man gestured back down to the book. Sam carried on.

“– on a great long and winding road, unlike any you have ever been down. Make no mistake, this is the path, your path, the one that will lead you to where you are truly meant to be.”

I’m meant to be at home, Sam thought, counting my stolen money, not on some random quest I never even asked for.

“Not very helpful, is it?” The man laughed, with a hint of satisfaction. “Pity. If only you’d found the white book.”

“Look, I didn’t find it, okay, it just appeared. As did the –” Sam stopped himself. It was one thing to tell this man about the notebook, it was quite another to tell him about the money. The less people who knew about that the better, he judged.

“Okay human, listen, I like you. And seeing as you’ve only question left, I’m going to give you a bit of a clue. A chance, shall we say.”

Sam breathed a sigh of relief. This was the first seemingly nice thing the man had said to him.

“Thank you, sir.”

“Sir?” The man laughed. “Well I never. You people really do change according the weather, don’t you?”

You people? Sam thought, another wave of uneasiness flowing over him. It was then that he noticed the man’s pupils were black holes, totally engulfing the area where his irises should have been. What on earth?

“Close, but not quite boy, not quite.”

Had the man read his mind? Because he definitely hadn't asked that out loud. Sam felt a shiver run down his spine.

“So my clue is this. Make me an offer boy, and if it is the most valuable thing you do indeed possess, I shall tell you the way. Of course, it’s up to you whether you believe me or not.”

Sam thought for a moment, he didn’t have much on him. The signet ring his grandfather had left him, that was worth a fair chunk of change, but not twenty thousand dollars. What about the book? Surely that was worth a lot more seeing as it was supposed to be a map to the greatest treasures in the universe. But he needed the book. And he wanted the money.

“Got a bit of soul searching to do, I see. Well, don’t take too long, I have quite the busy schedule these days you know.”

Sam pulled the backpack off his shoulders and plopped it down on the ground in front of him. If he gave up the money, and the book was full of shit, well then he was back to being the dirt-poor nobody he was before. But the book had gotten him this far, so why shouldn’t he believe the rest of it? But then, if the book were real, it really must be the most valuable thing he had. What a conundrum.

Sam fiddled with the signet ring on his little finger, thinking over his options. There were no good choices.

“I still have one question, so I’d like to ask it now please. And yes, I’ve read about the consequences. The thing is, well, I just can’t shake the feeling that this is some sort of trick, that none of these paths are going to take me where the book says.”

“I’m sorry boy, I don’t hear a question.”

“And another thing, I’m not breathing. I noticed it awhile back, but I didn’t want to believe it. But now, meeting you, I can’t deny it anymore.”

“Still, not a question.”

“Whatever I choose, I’m going to hell, aren’t I?”

The man began to laugh uncontrollably and all the ground as far as Sam’s eyes could see began to burn. The paths of the crossroads began to move and melt into one another and as they did so, the man removed his hat to reveal to blood red horns atop his head. Oh no, Sam thought. That’s not a good sign.

* * *

Gabriel appeared almost as soon as the scene had returned to normal. Lucifer knew he had been watching – his brother loved a good show.

“What did you think of the new set up Gabe? Did you like it?”

“Yes brother, very amusing. Although I do hate watching you play with your food. It’s bad enough they’re on their way to hell to be tortured by the likes of your cannibalistic demons for the rest of eternity –”

“And that’s just the nice ones.” Lucifer interjected.

“I almost feel sorry for them.”

“You know,” Lucifer sighed, “I really thought he was going to give me his ring for a minute there.”

“Wouldn’t have made a difference though. Poor boy signed his fate the minute he opened that safe. I do wish people would stop underestimating little old ladies.”

“Indeed. We’ve quite a few of them down in hell and even my best demons don’t like messing with them.”

Gabriel laughed. His brother was quite funny sometimes. He missed him, even after all this time. At least they got these moments together.

“Which reminds me, you must rewrite your book, doesn’t really seem fair does it – ‘reasonable guy’?” Gabriel chuckled again.

“Are you saying I’m not reasonable, brother? He could always have offered me his soul, you know. I would have let him have at least another few years for that. You never know, he might even have ended up with your lot by then!”

“Unlikely. Besides, you’re going to take his soul anyway, aren’t you?”

“Well yes, but it’s much more fun when they hand it over willingly. I reckon that’s worth a bit more miserable life in anyone’s book.”

“Can’t argue with that. You know, you’re not always quite as evil as they say, are you Luce?”

“Shh. Don’t you go polishing my bad name.” Both brothers sniggered.

“Right then, I’d better be off. It’s been fun brother, but I’ve got a bag to drop off on a little old lady’s porch, you know? Heard she’s got some pretty hefty renovations to do.” Gabriel picked up the bag and slung it over his shoulder. “Could’ve added a few bob, couldn’t he? Bit of a miser, our old man.”

Lucifer laughed. He’d always liked Gabriel; he had a much better sense of humour than the others.

“Wait, wait, before you go brother, I’ve thought of another one. Much better than last time. Why did the man cross the road?”

Gabriel turned to look at his fallen brother. Heaven was surely a more boring place without him.

“I don’t know Luce, why?”

“Because he tastes like chicken!”

Gabriel rolled his eyes.

“Unbelievable. No wonder dad kicked you out.”

“Oh do give him my best, won’t you? And while you’re at it, remind him I’m still a good few billion souls ahead.”

Gabriel shook his head and smiled as he flew off. He’d wanted to stay longer, chat more to his favourite brother, but there was just too much work to be done.