The Business Card Thief

The Business Card Thief puts his hands in the air. Sylvana brings the water and sets it on the coaster.

"Sylvana you're in the way Baby, move", says Bunwit digging in the Business Card Thief's pockets.

Mad that the only thing he finds are a couple of loose business cards. Bunwit chews the business cards and spits it on the ground. Then, he removes a spur from the back of the left boot and raises it in the air.

"Are you ready for action or what?" asks The Business Card Thief.

The Business Card Thief grabs both wrists and tussles with Bunwit, who slips on some Ale, spinning him into the motorized jukebox.

"Why couldn't ya'll do this from the giddy up?" asks the unidentifiable man scared to pick up the cell phone.

The spur falls from Bunwit's hand. Bunwit tumbles forward. The Business Card Thief runs as quickly as he can holding his injured side. He hobbles out of the saloon.

Laying on a potbelly. Bunwit mumbles, "darn it, all ya'll can do is take pictures and record, you let an out of towner do this to me," he says as they ignore him and run commentary anyway.

The Business Card Thief's upset because he left the bulk of business cards on the bar's counter. At least with the business cards, he could call or text and make up a lie. Tell the person that he met them at a networking event or a party. Hopefully the person joyfully imbibes.

Then, he can have the excuse that he was so drunk that he started asking random people for their business cards and the person on the opposite end of the conversation can attest to being smashed themselves. Given him whatever information he needed..

The Business Card Thief knocks on a door. An old woman checks the peephole to see if it's a familiar face. She's never seen this gentleman before, but she notices him holding his side. The old woman slips some packaged gauze samples under the door. Bandages that she received from her nephew, Rivington Stanton who's know to bring home samples of practical, weird or cool things from conventions or trade shows.

She would open the door, but, Rivington always read her statistics of old women burglarized by starnge young fellows. Information that he and the town gossips feed her. And she couldn't and wouldn't confirm it because she always stayed in the house. Her nephew and the townspeople were her news.

"Go along young fellow and bandage yourself up, I'm sorry I can't let you in. I'm an old woman and I can't trust you young whipper snappers.

"Do you need money?"

"Yes, I do ma'am."

"We'll the plant is hiring and they're paying $8.00 an hour, go out and be somebody and stop resting on your hiney Your laurels."

He limps off muttering.

"I'm not chasing a job paying $8.00 an hour."

The Business Card Thief turns a corner. It's people rolling dice on a block. The dice shaker blows on the dice and juggles it in a cowboy hat, then tosses the dice in the air. It lands and the guy kicks his spur to the ground and throws his hat in the meadow.

"What time does the next train come?" asks The Business Card Thief.

"I just lost my livestock, I'm not even thinking about a train", says The Dice Juggler.

The circle opens and the participants take off cowboy hats and spit tobacco on the curb. Their spurs instantly propel them to meet The Business Card Thief face to face.

"It's not even like that", says The Business Card Thief.

"What's it like?" asks a guy chewing a hay stick.

The Business Card Thief hears the train in the background. It's quite a way for him to run. And his side is still bothering him. He can only run but so fast.

The train's not stopping. If it did, he would be able to get on without overly exerting himself.

"Howdy, interrupting our dice game, pull up the schedule on your phone", says a third man.

"How was I suppose to know you were playing dice, shouldn't be playing in a secluded area".

"You must be from the city, ain't nothing secluded, not a lot of people here, you from the part where it's crowded, people walk fast and act busy" says The Guy chewing the haystack.

The train trails off.

A kid runs away from his parents strolling down the street. He waves to the men. The kid pulls off a mini cowboy hat and imitates them rolling dice. The Dice Juggler picks up the kid and tells him, "I don't want you gambling, a man can lose overalls and his farm".

He puts the kid down. The parents wave at the men. All of them wave including The Business Card Thief. He inches away from the men. The wife carries a long conversation with them especially the Business Card Thief who she has her eyes on. He's trying to leave and catch the train.

Fumbling in his pockets, he pulls out a business card. He doesn't remember how or where he got the business card. It says, 'Honesty, Real Estate Developer".

"Oh, that's your business card?" asks the nosy wife.

"Yeah", he lies.

"Let me get it, you should come to our barbecue, we throw it every 'Cow Tooting Day'.

She snatches the business card and reads the name. Everyone laughs including the child.

"We have to give you a tougher name than that", says the 3rd man.

The men back away from him.

"Catch your train".

The men throw nickles and dimes at him.

"I can't invite someone with that name to my shindig", says The Wife.

"Clean yourself up and you can come next year", says The husband.

The Business Card Thief blows a sigh of relief. He digs in his back pocket for another business card. Three tumble out. The Business Card Thief picks them up. He selects one, putting the rest in a backpocket and walks to the train station.

The people refuse to bid him farewell.

He calls the name on the business card. The phone rings. No one picks up. The voice message service comes on. The Business Thief refuses to leave a message. People begin filing in to the station. A train rolls in. The dimes and nickels aren't enough. The Business Card Thief observes a mother arguing with her husband. And the five-year-old daughter gets involved. She takes the father's side.

"Why do we always go where you wanna go and you always have to be right, you're never wrong, it just drives me nuts," says the father.

"Yeah, it drives Daddy nuts, it drives me nuts too, when are you going to change?" asks the daughter.

The couple keeps arguing. The Ticket Man tries to bring some peace to the situation. The family pays him no mind.

The Business Card Thief steps up and tries to cool things down.

"Is this the third time she's chosen where to go or the fourth or fifth time?" asks The Business Card Thief.

"She always does it. Whenever my Dad chooses a cool spot to visit, she says no and gives a litany of excuses of why she doesn't want to go and then, when we say we don't want to go somewhere that she chooses, my mother gets mad and plays psychological games", says the daughter.

"You know about psychological games at your age?" asks The Business Card Thief.

"Let this family figure out what they want to do, I can't just stand here all day and watch them argue", says the Ticket Man.

The passengers give him their tickets. He punches a hole and returns the bottom portion back to them. The complaints start mounting, when the line stops moving because of the family's bickering.

"Why don't you let them choose a destination for once, and stop being selfish, you're making the whole family angry at you, then they won't want to eat your cooking or listen to your demands, be a pal," says The Business Card Thief.

"I like this man, he has common sense, honey give him your ticket, we're staying home", says The Father.

"I will not give a stranger my ticket," says the wife.

"See, it's always about you, I was talking to our daughter, you're not the only female in the family, see it's always about you, you make me sick, why did I even marry you, why did you even say yes, I wish I could do it all over again".