the blue period.

The guiding blue beam from the lighthouse appeared once again in my life. Prominent and commanding, it shone across the dark sea and cut through the night. I watched it sweep the water, from left to right. Whenever we were face to face, Blue saw its way quietly into my mind and reality. It called me and I was dazzled by it. I clung to every word it whispered, faint and passive. However, it would ask me the same question. A question that I struggled to find an answer to most of my life.

What is it all for?

As I stood still, silently contemplating a meaningful answer, Blue grew more impatient. The waters, once calmly grazing the shore, began to overpower the sand. I looked down to find the dry grains swallowed into the abyss.

And there it went again: What is it all for?

The moon, the lighthouse’s blue beam, and the ocean were looking right at me. They all waited with bated breath, restless for reason. My mind and heart were numb, coming up short. The waves roared, ascending higher on the coast. The brewing storm howled unpromisingly from above. The winds’ gust thrust the sand in the air, if not in the water. Together, the harmony filled the space among my silence.

The light met my eyes again and stopped. This time, there were no questions. Blue overwhelmed me as I was anxious from its contradictions. I continued to be still, remaining eye to eye with its beam. I began to become fully aware that at any moment, whether good or bad, things were bound to change. I sensed it coming. Before I blinked, a great wave swept me in. Blue became unstable and unpredictable; I was desperate to stay above it all. Rather than continuing to fight the powerful forces, I let myself sink quietly. My last wish to finally be at peace pulsed through my blue veins.

I opened my eyes to the stars filling the velvet sky, and the feeling of another’s tears on my skin. My body submerged into sand and ears clogged with saltwater, all I heard were their cries. Confused and weary, I never planned to be back on the shore. I never planned at all. I believed I was alone with Blue, unaware that anybody was around to witness what I surrendered myself to. Their remorseful sorrow and my sorry heart. Tears that could bring a change of heart and make one question their surest actions. They held my hands, lifted them above my head, and dragged my drenched body across the sand bathed in the moon’s blue light. The storm faded, the waters subdued, and the blue beam from the lighthouse dimmed without a sound. Fragile and certain, an answer came to my mind.