The Beauty of the Sun

She could hear the squealing and screeching of the metal, as the train jerked slowly to a crawl. Her mother and she had been in such a tight embrace, it felt as though their bodies had grown together as one. Back at the train station where they boarded, hordes of people had been gathered and then separated, including the two of them from her father. Helen had cried in fear for nearly half of the train ride once they had boarded. She had no idea, that there, it would be the last time she would see him alive. The night before, they had been sitting together around the dinner table eating as a family. Tonight was a horrible mystery. She wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

The train as it finally came to a jolted halt, she could hear the angry howling directions from outside the train car,

"Jetzt raus, beeilen Sie sich!!"

The German soldiers had, before the train stopped, started pulling women off. The screams for everyone to get off now and to hurry up was deafening in her ears. There was no help, no way to escape and it was far down to the ground off the edge. Her mother and she leapt together, bowling over others that had done the same, but they didn't let go. Helen's fingers hurt at her mother's grip, but she didn't care. With their coats and any belongs being stripped from them, the winter was biting at them both.

As they approached the barbed-wired fencing, Helen noticed the soldiers were separating people out. They were moving so fast as they drew closer, she could feel the snap of a cane. The sting caused the two of them to release their frozen hands. They were being separated and Helen called out to her mother, trying to fight the crowds that were now slowly pushing them farther apart,

"Mama! Mama!"

Helen becoming hysterical, screaming as loud as she could over the others lamenting to no avail. Her mother was gone. By now, the stressful events were starting to take their toll on Helen and she could feel her knees beginning to buckle. At the last second, she felt a hand seize onto hers.

"Mama?" she called out feeling her heart leap.

She swirled around and her eyes met with a friend, Ana, whom she had grown up with. She felt deflated, but could hear Ana,

"It's ok, we'll stick together for as long as possible, so we aren't alone."

Helen hadn't had a great friendship with Ana, but she knew neither should be alone here. Her friend, who was the same age, had lost all of her family back at the train station and needed their friendship even more than Helen. So she clinched her hand as they were wrangled to a waiting cold and blistery bunker with nothing but 2x4's and a planks for bunk beds and no covers.

Over time, they had shared a bunkbed to keep each other warm. Their daily lives since 1943 had been hard labor. In some cases, cleaning the dead from the gas chambers. It was nauseating, but they were alive. Helen would scratch a notch for everyday on their bedpost. She suspected based on her calculations that the war was now heading into 1945. Both she and Ana had become like sisters rather than best friends. They had witnessed new entries into the camp being brutalized in the most heinous ways, leaving them as zombies in a shell. They thanked G_d they weren't chosen as one of those, but their hearts broke.

Both Helen and Ana counted, this was the third winter in the camp. Their clothes were as rags hanging off their skeletal hangers once called shoulders. There normally wasn't food for several days and even then when there was, it was morsels. The water was dirty and during the winters, it was ice. They both encouraged each other to hang on, one more day, just one more day. The American planes could be heard through the days flying overhead. The thought that other countries could come together and fight for a people of faith, helped the two hold on, but they both knew time was not on their side.

The girls, now young ladies, had decided at the first snow of each year they would silently celebrate their birthdays and treat it as a full "holiday" so there would be something to look forward to. Each time one would find a morsel of any kind they would share it, but as time went on, it became Ana that would say.

"No, you have it." Making sure that Helen was always the receiver.

This particular morning, they awoke to a commotion outside. The soldiers were in a hurry, scurrying around. Helen could hear the trucks turning over making a rough rumbling sound. As she listened intently, all of a sudden the door to the barracks flung open, breaking off it's hinges. Screaming stirred any of the remaining girls still asleep awake.

"Steh auf! März! Beeil dich! Verschieben Sie es jetzt!!"

All the girls, including Helen and Ana were panicking and wailing in fear. Helen stepped out of the doorway into a newly fallen winter horror land. As beautiful as a snowfall was, it was deadly to them.

"March down that way! Follow the trucks!" the soldiers piped out orders.

Helen and Ana held onto each other. Their shoes were in tatters, barely fitting, barely held together. They marched out of the fencing, onto the iced over road. Helen looked at the additional barracks they were passing and caught a glimpse of what looked like the remains of a shadow of her mother. She was still alive! Helen called out,

"Mama! Mama!"

Her throat was dry from the lack of fluids and the cold. She could feel her eyes trying to tear up, but there was nothing there to cry with. All of a sudden she could hear a faint holler from her mother.

"Be strong! I love you!"

This would be the last Helen would hear or see of her mother and she dry wept.

She and Ana glanced at each other as they drudged through the snow and ice. They knew that wherever they were headed, it was now a true and final fight for life, survive or die. Pushed to walk through the snow for days that eventually turned into months, they were weak. Each time food was found, Helen would try to share it with Ana, but Ana would refuse.

"You eat it, I'm fine." But Helen knew that wasn't true.

In a field, the girls were allowed to rest for a couple of hours before being forced to continue on. This was the ritual every day and for Helen there was just no way to determine what day much less what month they were in or even how far they had traveled. They still didn't know where they were going. As she lay on the cold, hard ground, her body gave into the much needed rest as did Ana's. She awoke to the new normal,

"March ahead!"

Helen mustered all of her energy to get up, Ana had been lying beside leaning against her and she could hear her whisper,

"Helen, you must survive. Promise me, you will survive." Ana was so weak.

"We will survive, togeth...Ana? Ana? ANA!!"

Beside her, Ana fell back to sleep. She had held on as long as she could and now was gone. Helen carefully laid her on the ground,

"We will survive, I promise."

Rising to her feet, Helen knew she had to make it, she had to live so others would know about her friend, her mother, her father. She fought for every step until finally they had made it to a different set of barracks, no better than the ones they'd left. She wanted to cry, but her mother's words to be strong and her promise kept her from hanging her head low. She found a bunk bed to finally lay down on and could only hear the sinister laughter of the soldiers lull her to sleep.

The next morning, once again, she heard a commotion. Once again, they were gathered outside. This time there would be no long journey, only a few feet to a factory building that had been modified. While be pushed inside she heard a soldier,

"Heute stirbst du! Hahahaha!"

Herded in to this building like cattle, Helen prepared herself to die. As she was pushed in, she had seen a bomb sitting there, smirking at her. Her life was now fully in G_d's hands. Close to a wall, she leaned against it, closed her eyes and imagined being home with her family, seeing their smiles, hearing their laughter. Soon, she thought, they will be together again. Helen, after a while, could hear rain starting to fall, hitting the roof. It was loud and torrential. G_d was listening and watched to see she couldn't cry, so He made the sky cry for her. She had made her peace and slid down the wall, falling asleep.

What felt like seconds, ended up being hours into the morning when she woke. The rain had stopped and she was sitting in mud. The door to the building rattled and she could hear a chain being broken. As she wiped the sleep from her eyes, the door flung open and there stood a different looking soldier. He called out,

"Is everyone ok? I'm with the United States Army"

Helen, in her weakened state, slowly crawled up the wall she had been leaning against. Raised her hand over her eyes, inside had been so dark and now there was light shining brightly through. As she saw the man walking toward her, she slid back down and the light fully enveloped her till she fainted.

A week later, Helen woke up in an American hospital. She had been severely dehydrated and was bones from the starvation. She was in disbelief that after so many years, her ordeal...the war, was over. She was free.

Years later, Helen had grown healthy again, had married and even had a child. A little girl that she named Ana. Her husband was just like her father and most of all she found she was just like her mother. Strong.

When she was found that day, May 14th, 1945, Liberation Day, she had been 64 pounds and at deaths door. Out of 3,000 girls who were made to walk 350 miles for 3 months, she and a little under 120 girls survived. It now was forever known as the Death March. In 1963, 18 years after the event and the age Ana had died, Helen traveled back to the site. She walked around and saw the memorial that was placed. That was the place she lost and found family, friends, hope and faith. The numbers forever etched on her arm would always be a reminder, not of the bad, but of her endurance and G_d by her side.

Before leaving, Helen went again to the memorial and there she lay a Marigold flower bouquet. This flower reminded her of the sun that shown on her that day, its power to resurrect, despair because of love, and remembering death.

Her plague read:

'The fragility of life can never be fully understood until one experiences the despair life can bring and how if we come together, we can become stronger and endure, never losing hope and faith, never allowing evil to overcome, but love instead. Mother, father and Ana, you are never forgotten, always loved and forever in my heart.

-Helen