THE ADVENTURES OF CAP'N BOOGER NOSE, Bird Brain and Turtlehead

The Adventures of Cap’n Booger Nose, Bird Brain and Turtle Head: In Double Island Surprise

KA-BOOM!! Went the canon! The ship had been hit. The battle was fierce and raged on. Thick black smoke was everywhere. The clock was ticking. Any moment the ticking time bomb would explode. Throwing things overboard, Booger Nose had to hurry. Not much time left. He had to get Bird Brain and Turtle Head outta there. Suddenly he grabbed his bag of booty. He grabbed his 1st and 2nd mate and shouted, “Shiver me timber’s!” as he jumped overboard.

Once overboard, he swam to his tiny raft. The three of them peacefully floated off into the sunset. They were in search of a home and a new sloop.

Captain Booger Nose had come from a large family of pirates. He had been told that Blackbeard was his Great Great Uncle. He had a little bump that hung down in front of his nose. Instead of his parents giving him a pirate’s name like Jack or Blackbeard Jr., they simply named him Booger Nose.

Cap’n Booger Nose was the Captain of his own sloop; her name was Princess Anne’s Revenge. Onboard with him was his annoying talking parrot, Bird Brain, who repeated everything twice. He wore a patch over his right eye. Booger Nose also had a turtle named Turtle Head. He wore a hanky and gold earring. Cap'n Booger Nose, Bird Brain, and Turtle Head had been best friends since the first time he laid eye on them. Having a turtle was an unusual pet for a pirate. But Cap’n Booger Nose had fallen in love with Turtle Head from the moment he saw him. Turtle Head was lying on a sandy beach on a far-off island. Turtle Head was waving a flag that said, “Save the Turtles!” Booger Nose being the softy, he was stopped. Then quickly scooped up Turtle Head and headed for the ship. Turtlehead was the last thing Booger Nose looted. The three had been inseparable ever since. Like all Pirates, Booger Nose wore a patch over his eye, a pirate’s hat and slept on a hammock on the deck of his ship. Cap’n Booger Nose drank his mead and walked on a peg leg after losing his leg in battle.

Cap’n Booger Nose and his landlubber’s set sail on Princess Anne’s Revenge. The Captain’s sloop was waving a black flag for an island far away. There were no other hands-on-deck besides Booger Nose, Turtle Head, and Bird Brain. The brig was ready for any disruptive mates along the way. Booger Nose went in search of his Great Great Uncle Blackbeard’s hideout. In hopes of finding some long-lost booty left behind. He had his treasure map and shovel handy.

Cap’n Booger Nose peered through his spyglass. He saw the approaching storm rolling in.” Shiver me timbers!” he hollered. Then “Batten down the hatches, boom about, boom about he yelled! ““Aye aye Cap’n, Aye-aye Cap’n,” said the red parrot Bird Brain twice. Turtle Head moved slowly, wearing his gold earring and bandana toward the ship's mast to do as his Captain ordered.

The storm was a fierce one. The sloop managed to stay afloat, booming about in the waters. It crashed landed on the shore of some sandy beach in the middle of nowhere. The jolt of the sloop had rattled Booger Nose and his tiny crew. The Captain’s hat sat crooked on top of his head. Turtlehead wore his eye patch over his nose. Bird Brain looked like a bank robber. The friendly crew had trouble regaining their land legs as they wobbled off the deck. On the sandy beach, they waddled. Leaving Turtle Head flipped upside down on his shell. Cap’n Booger Nose feared they would be marooned till he and his crew could repair the sloop. But in the meantime, search for hidden treasure.

The island appeared deserted. The tall coconut tree’s swayed in the wind. There lying on the beach, were remains of emptied half-buried treasure chests. Bones and skulls left behind that were of opponents who were given no quarter. Dead men tell no tales. Other ship parts had crashed into the island sand. Booger Nose hoped that they had left some booty behind still to be uncovered. He was determined to find it.

The Cap’n and his crew were hungry and set up camp on the shore. Booger Nose fired up a hearty supper of some bunny grub, poor john, and a hardtack. The crew ate to their fill. Then sleepy-eyed, they took a long caulk. Upon awaking, Cap’n Booger Nose, Bird Brain, and Turtle Head ventured out for their first island walk. “Yo Ho Ho, Ye Scallywag’s, It’s time to hunt for Booty!” Booger Nose yelled to Turtle Head and Bird Brain. Bird Brain was riding on the back of Turtle Head shouted, “Hunt for booty, hunt for booty!” And off the three went. Turtle Head was moving slower than a week at school.

As they moved through the jungle of the beautiful island, Booger Nose took out his spyglass. Took a long look around and said, shocked, “Shiver me timbers, blow me down!” Was he seeing things? Cap’n Booger Nose had made it a point to never sail a sloop under the dazzle of grog. He hadn’t been hitting the grog. Not when the crew was looking anyway. In his spyglass, he saw sitting unburied in front of a cave opening the most giant booty ever! Booger Nose had never seen this kind of loot in the wide-open before. “Sink me, it ain't even been buried!” He hollered as he quickly headed in the direction as fast as his peg leg could carry him. Turtle Head and Bird Brain moving slowly behind him. He had learned long ago to follow Booger Nose’s peg print in the sands.

Soon the crew approached the opening of the cave where the unburied booty was. “Blimey, let the plundering began!” He was so excited he started to whistle a little chantey. Singing Yo Ho Ho me hearties! Booger Nose was so busy pillaging and plundering and singing and didn’t stop till he felt the sharp end of the cutlass piercing his side. “Arrrrrghhhh!” he moaned. He turned and looked. “A wench, a wench! “Bird Brain shouted out from his shoulder. Turtle Head’s eyes popped out of its sockets. “Blow me down!” Booger Nose said.

Booger Nose had never seen a wench pirate before. He had only read about them. She was a good-looking wench. Booger Nose stared in disbelief and softly said the words, “Ahoy Matey!”

“Heave to. Savvy? I’ll keelhaul Ye?” She said it like she meant it. The wench gave a threatening glare into their eyes. Booger Nose, Bird Brain, and Turtle Head froze in their places while pieces of eight fell from their pockets, shells, and wings. The looting had begun. Booger Nose stood up and listened to her threatening responses. “Are Ye trying to hornswoggle me? This booty is all mine?!” the wench said with a scowl. “Now now, no need to hang the jib,” replied Booger Nose. He was an old softy, not like his old Uncle Blackbeard. Blackbeard had the reputation of being the scourge of the 7 seas. A natural scurvy dog.

“No prey, no pay Cap'n Booger Nose said softly.” He started to retreat and put back the loot. “I’ve seen the likes of you scurvy dogs before,” the wench said. “Seen you before, seen you before,” hollered Bird Brain.

“Well, dead men tell no tales,” she said. Suddenly Bird Brain shouted, “Blow the man down, blow the man down!” “Quiet Bird Brain, it’s a nice wench!” said Booger Nose. He turned towards the wench and smiled real friendly-like. Showing off his missing tooth, and continued returning the loot.

Seeing Booger Nose return, the booty softened the wench. There would be no battle to defend her treasure. She returned the cutlass to its sheath. Also, seeing the only hands with him was this annoying parrot and silent turtle. A single pirate who traveled with a bird and turtle puzzled her. The wench realized they were not much of a threat. She decided to skip the flogging. Allowing Booger Nose, Bird Brain, and Turtle Head to leave without turning them into shark bait. The crew moved away slowly and dared not to look back. Booger Nose wondered about the wench. What was she doing here on a remote island all alone? How long had she been here? He feared others would show up just in a matter of time.

Her name was Annabelle. She had passed 1000 moons since being marooned on the island. Annabelle had been a lonely wench. It was nice to see a pirate again. It was nice to see a wench the Cap’n thought but felt it best to keep a safe distance for the next few days. When he decided to spy on her through his spyglass, he saw a frightening sight. “Shiver me timbers!” he suddenly shouted. The wench was in trouble. There was a pack of hungry giant seabirds attacking her. Annabelle was trying her best to fight them off. There were more than she could take alone. Annabelle was outnumbered and was losing the battle. Booger Nose ran to the canon at the ship's bow and shouted to his crew, “Fire in the hole! “Pointing and firing the cannon in the direction of the seabirds. It let off a loud BOOM! Suddenly out came a massive puff of black smoke from the canon’s end. It nearly shook the whole island. It frightened the hungry pack of seabirds away. Bird Brain, Turtle Head and Booger Nose all choked and coughed. Covered in soot, they all looked like their shadows. Annabelle knew the Old Salt and his crew had saved her. She was grateful.

That evening Annabelle invited Cap;n Booger Nose, Bird Brain, and Turtle Head to dinner serving up some hearty grub of dog’s body, cackle fruit, and some spirits. Grateful for Cap’n Booger Nose and his annoying parrot and pet turtle. They turned out to be her keepers.

The next day Booger Nose repaired the sloop and loaded up the booty. Annabelle didn’t seem to mind. Booger Nose looked into Annabelle’s deadlights and said,” Me heart, me soul, me good wench.” Annabelle smiled and bid fair winds to the island. Booger Nose thought to himself a double island surprise, a wench, and a booty. He grinned at the thought.

Along with Bird Brain and Turtle Head, the four of them sailed away from that deserted isle. That night on deck, Bird Brain stood on Turtle Heads back and listened to Booger Nose and Annabelle sing chanteys in the light of the silvery moon. Cap’n Booger Nose and Annabelle set sail to another swaggy they could loot together. New adventures awaited them all.

Yo Me Hearty’s, Ye can’t be a pirate if you don’t know the lingo!

Check out the glossary below!

PIRATE GLOSSARY TERMS:

Landlubbers- having no real sea experience

Sloop- a smaller than average ship

Monoculars- single-lens spyglass/telescope

Batten down the hatches- secure the ship for a coming storm

Aye Aye- Yes Yes will do promptly

Shimmer me timbers-shocked

Boom About- tossed by the rough seas

No quarter given- no chance of survival

A long caulk- Nap

Matey- a friend

Scallywag- a name for a younger person sometimes used tenderly

Booty- Treasure

Yo Ho Ho- an expression of good feeling

Blow me down- shocked or amazed

Plunder- to take or steal belongings

Loot- Stolen money or property

Blimey- Expression of surprise

Me hearties- my friend

Arrrrghhhh- pain or disgust expression

Ahoy- Hello

Hornswaggle- to be cheated out of money or property

Scurvy dog- name-calling insult

PIRATE GLOSSARY TERMS CONTD.

Wench- a woman or young girl

Old-Salt- experienced pirate

Heave to-stop

Hang the jib- frown

Blow me down- Surprise

Blow the man down- Kill the man

Grub- food

Spirits- good drink

Flogging – to beat with a whip

Hardtack- hard dried biscuit or bread

Cackle fruit- eggs

Dogsbody- hardtack soaked in water and sugar

Poor john- fish

Marooned- left alone on a deserted island

Grog- liquor diluted with water

Deadlights- eyes

Fair Winds- goodbye and good luck

Swaggy- ship intent on looting