That One

"Why that one?" asked the Memory Master looking up from the birdbath-like basin. William Gains noted his sexless nudity, a shining light of radiance like a burning star. This new form was pain free, weightless, and the shape ever changing according to his feelings. The clouds at his feet felt like freshly moved dirt; soft and fluffy. He could feel no heartbeat nor felt the need to take a single breath. He was given temporary access to all his mortal life's memories, an access which would soon become finite.

"What is it with people holding onto these painful memories?" the Memory Master asked plainly. "You are about to take a step towards a new adventure, the greatest known to existence, and you want to enter it carrying baggage?" he asked.

William was confused by the resistance. The deal was he could keep any one memory from his previous life to hold onto it for the rest of eternity. "This memory is very important to me!" he insisted.

"Why? Because it paints you as a victim? You have the chance to exist burden-free, and yet roaming the universe with the memory of Daddy beating you brings you delight?" the Memory Master said. While his point was valid, William knew this memory was just too important to give up on.

"If I may ask, what memory did you choose?" William asked.

"Easy, the day of my daughter's wedding. Not only was it the proudest day of my life, but I can remember my daughter for the day that I get to welcome her into our bountiful kingdom." the master explained.

"That's just it! You speak of pride, but that memory also sparks pride for me. You see, the reason I was beaten and subsequently disowned by my bastard of a father was because it was the day I finally had the courage to come out openly as gay to him. The years of hiding the attraction to men, the fear I felt daily worried he would find out by himself... The pride I feel for standing up for my pride - I know no memory more powerful than that one." William explained.

The Memory Master waited for a long moment before answering. "If you want a memory reminding yourself of your gay pride, why not the first time you went to bed with another man, or even better, with your soulmate?" he asked finally.

"I never found my soulmate." William responded quickly.

"Your father was a bastard, but what about your mother? Any happy memories about her?" the Memory Master asked.

"Perhaps my sixth birthday, the last time we really shared a beautiful moment before she was gone by Christmas. But that's why I don't want that memory, I can't have one without the other." William replied.

The Memory Master sighed, he circled a finger around the water of the basin, blurring the images. "Listen to me very carefully. If you wander the universe and beyond with nothing but that memory, you will believe your life was nothing but pain and hardship. You will wander aimlessly in a fate worse than hell. You will be angry, and the other souls trying to show you compassion will distance themselves from you when they come to find you are an entity of despair. Does that sound appealing to you? Is that really what you want?" For a moment, William almost felt like his body heat was rising, that his heart was palpitating, but this was all an illusion. The Memory Master made an excellent point, to wander for an eternity with nothing but a constant reminder that his father was his own personal boogeyman? All for what? Just to remind himself of his sexuality? Does sexuality even matter in the great beyond?

William Gains looked down into the basin one more time, cycling through major life events with crystalline perfection. He watched the beating one more time at the hands of his father, then the night he drank a pint with his first love Charlie, then finally that sixth birthday with his mother, blowing out the candles in a single breath, wishing mom and dad could settle their differences. He looked up at the Memory Master, and the intention of a smile turned his aura a shade of pink.

The End