Tender Buttons

I ran across the street toward the gym. Lately, the gym has been a safe space for me to relax and stretch out. I look at my flesh in the locker room mirror. Droopy eyes with fish lips and big elephant ears. If some cartoonist drew me, I would look exactly like Lip Service, that one character on Spongebob. I’ve been working out for the past month because I have a wedding coming up. I have no date, so I need something to talk about to avoid all those awkward conversations of… “How’s work?” or “Are you dating anyone?” Now if those questions come up, I will just counter-question that question with, “I’ve been working out” or “I can do five pull-ups.” I can’t actually do any pull-ups, not even one, so I’m hoping there isn’t a pull-up bar at the wedding.

I plopped down at the lat pull-down machine. I got a few reps in and then this woman sat down next to me. I’ve seen her before. I wouldn’t say that she’s my “gym crush” because I don’t have one, but she is very beautiful and busty. I looked up at her and she looked away. We did this for what seemed like thirty minutes. I didn’t move from my spot. Finally, she got up.

“You dropped your-”

“What?”

“I was just saying, you dropped your phone.” she strolled into the locker room while I was picking up my phone that I didn’t remember dropping.

I didn’t remember working out either, but I felt wet and out of breath as I trudged into the locker room. I saw her again, this time she was taking pictures of her bare breasts in the mirror. I wondered who the lucky person was to receive those photos of her. To stare and stare until that’s all they see when they close their eyes. I have never been sent a nude except for this one time that my aunt sent me one by accident. In fact, I’ve never even seen boobs except for the ones that are on my chest. Those saggy little motherfuckers will never see the light of day, I keep them hidden deep down inside me. Before I could leave, we made eye contact once more. This time she gazed down at my phone that was now in my right hand. On the phone were the nude pictures that she took in the mirror. I didn’t know what to say, so I just gave her a thumbs-up. She slowly walked toward me. She took my phone and put it into my pocket.

“Hi.” She said. On her shirt was the name, lululemon. Was her name Lulu?

“Hi.” I stared into Lulu’s eyes. She started to kiss my neck. She put my hands on her breasts. I squeezed and squeezed. Lulu seemed to like this cause she started to suck on my neck and chin. I touched her nipples. She bit my neck. Her nipples started to turn red and then into a blueish purple. I loosened up my grip.

“Keep going, please, I’m so close.” She whimpered. I squeezed as hard as I could. Her nipples turned black and then a liquid came shooting out of them. It got into my mouth, it was a sweet, but sour, but hot, but cold, but tangy substance.

“Thank you, beautiful.” She stated as she pulled her shirt down and stepped out of the locker room. I repeated what she just said in my head, “beautiful.” “beautiful.” “beautiffffullll.” I am beautiful.