Tell us about your new book

Penny P: Good evening and welcome to BBC Poetry Matters. I'm Penny Precious and our first guest tonight is Beckenham-based author Raymond G. Taylor... Raymond, welcome to the show, it is a pleasure to have you with us.

Ray T: Thanks for having me, it's great to be here and talk about my new book of collected poetry... [waving the book in front of the microphone]

Penny P: [whispers] Er... you're on radio, Ray, the listeners can't see the book.

Ray T: [whispering back] Oh, yeah, 'course...

Penny P: Firstly, Ray, would you like to share the central themes of your poems... what is the message you are trying to convey?

Ray T: Well, I can't say that there is a central theme or message, really, the book is more of a collection of random poetry that I thought up when I was sitting at my computer thinking up poetry. There is the usual stuff about love and death but there are also quite a lot of quirky poems about everyday things like coffee cups, chips and orange peel.

Penny P: There's a poem about a coffee cup in your collection?

Ray T: Yes... well... more of an ode really. I like to add a fun element to my verse. After all, poetry about love and death can get a bit boring and depressing. Would you like me to read you the coffee cup poem?

Penny P: Er... perhaps later. Moving on, what inspired you to write these sometimes boring, sometimes quirky poems?

Ray T: Well, I guess life in general really. The love and death ones were inspired by, well... love and death. My ode "Cheap as chips" was inspired by a memory of buying a bag of chips for sixpence as a young boy.

Penny P: A bag of chips for six pee? Really? How long ago was that?

Ray T: How long ago? Must have been 1970 or thereabouts. And it was sixpence in old money, before decimalisation, so that's 6d, not 6p, or approximately 2.5p in decimal.

Penny P: 1970? BeFORE decimalisation? That must make you pretty old.

Ray T: Well I'm 64, if that makes any difference.

Penny P: So you're 64 and you have only just published your first book of poetry?

Ray T: We’ll yeah. I only started writing poetry last year.

Penny P: What made you want to start writing poetry at 63 years old?

Ray T: I belong to this online writing community called Vocal Media and they do these prize challenges. I never think I can write poetry but whenever I give it a go, I find I can. Just goes to show anyone can be a poet, they might just not know it.

Penny P: And how many prizes have you won for your poems so far.

Ray T: Well... Er… none. But I did win runner up for a 50-word book review and another for a pasta recipe using walnuts.

Penny P: Hmm interesting… now let’s move on to our next guest who is a real author who has published lots of books about a cosy bunch of amateur detectives who meet on a Thursday. He’s also been on telly. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm (but not pointless) welcome to Richard Osman.... Now, Richard, tell us about your new book The Friday Murder Club.

Richard O: Hi! The Friday Murder club is a bit like The Thursday Murder Club except that they meet on Fridays instead of Thursdays...

For readers who haven’t yet realised it, this interview is entirely fictional. Yes, it's a spoof. That is apart from the bit about publishing my first book of verse.

Will it Fall on my Head is published by Park Langley Editions and is available in Kindle, priced at: $0.99 / £0.80

Paperback edition to follow

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From amazon.co.uk: Will it Fall on my Head

From amazon.com: Will it Fall on my Head