Tasteless Tones

I lay on one end of the bed waiting for you to call my phone to say, "baby, I'm done with the guys can you pick me up? But still, I stare at the ceiling wrapped in my feelings, wondering what is it that you are searching for outside this home. Maybe I am overthinking as usual.

(glass breaking)

(heart racing) I flung the sheets over and reached under the nightstand to grab my .380 keeping my eyes positioned underneath the door. I glance at the cuckoo clock on the wall 3:38 am I start towards the window to glance and check for any unknown vehicles. Nothing, not a person in sight. I continue stepping to the door gun pointed asking God for forgiveness before I send this soul because only a fool would think they could take mine. I eased the door open and crept down the hall feeling my heart squeeze my chest tighter letting me know danger is near. Anxiety can really be a brat but this wasn't the time for that. I shook it and kept tip-toeing through the house I finally made it to the kitchen to see the glass shattered all over the floor, and still no one to blame. I begin to lower my weapon and come to maybe I am overreacting to turn and get a glimpse of a shadow. I flipped the lights on quickly and repositioned my gun and turned on my beam aiming for the target's skull.

"Hey Danii, you missed me? (hiccup) Baby I tried calling, but you didn't answer so so so I tried my luck to see if you were (hiccup) home, I used my key he slurred standing with an already-prepped sandwich on the plate with a bite missing. With a smile on his face, he chugged the bottle of Gin in the air, SURPRISE! I'M HOME!

Staring at him with several emotions encountered at once I watched him sway back and forth as he carried on I could smell the alcohol as if it had already bathed him mixed with kerosene and cigarettes. I stood in agony watching his performance with the gun still ready for fire looking at him and asking myself if I should take advantage and continue the breaking-in entry scenario that he began. You know put him out of his misery of being a foolish soul.

"Baby, I got a movie I want us to watch come on".

It truly irritated me how comfortable he was even as an intruder in my home with a gun aimed at him he still showed so much control over the situation. I shook my head, lowered my gun, and watched as he bounced back and forth off the walls toward the bedroom. "How did I let it get this far", I mumbled to myself placing my gun on the counter to crouch down and clean up the mess of glass he left for me.

After tidying up the kitchen and scanning through the house I went to lock up the doors luckily I did he left his keys still plunged in the knob awaiting the next uninvited guest on cue as I hit the porch light and begin to step back inside I watched a red Yukon with tinted windows and busted right tail light cut the corner. Puzzled I never saw the vehicle before, was someone watching my house or him? Or as usual, I let my thoughts get the best of me and create my own conclusions.

I scurried back down the hall to use the bathroom exhausted from the headache waiting on me in the room I just took a moment to breathe and really think how did I let this get this far? I mean things between my once lover weren't always found at the bottom of the bottle. His smile use to ignite this flame in my soul, his voice could perch an ear just because he was speaking all eyes were on him, even more, when he walked a tone was set no matter what room he stood in. I remembered it like it was yesterday how he approached me with his dark chocolate skin, and pretty whites, he held out his hand as a gentleman to kiss mine and ask what brought me to his side of town. Oh, how like a school girl I swayed my face away to blush while informing him I just relocated to this area and was just taking in the neighborhood. From that day forward he had me, nose wide open.

I begin to dismantle those thoughts cause those were the days but now I stand in reality and sometimes you may not be ready to unmask the monster. I wished he kept his on and continued hiding but he had to let his pain, suffering, and hurt bleed on me. I finally took my last sigh wiped and flushed the toilet looked into the mirror while washing my hands I could see the scar that will forever decorate my face I could almost be the next potter. Fighting for my position as his woman, I flipped my hair back over the memory, well wasn't that very immature of me? He never even made it to me. No call or show. Just waited until the streets updated him. I crawled back in bed leaning to place my .380 back in its nesting place without disturbing the lifeless drunk snoring on the other side of my bed. I settled back into my space I took one more look at him, "God just give him a piece of mind."

(whistling) (Al Green playing in the distance) (grease popping)

I open my mouth to yawn and lean over to check my clock it's 8:03 am. I lay there still, frozen in despair. Wondering what he wants from me? It wasn't enough to barge in late, but to disturb my morning too was just outrageous. I stretched and grabbed my robe and slippers and made my way to the kitchen following the scent of what I like to refer to as a southern throwdown. I peeped in watching him be in his own world dancing to the music and prepping two plates with grits, eggs, bacon, and even pancakes. I ushered myself to the fridge without giving any acknowledgment of his presence.

"Hey baby, I'm sorry for last night this is my way to let you know I am fixing myself up. I just wanted to celebrate with you" Unbothered and annoyed by the same routine I nodded in agreement and went to fix myself a cup of OJ. "Danielle did you hear me, I've changed." "Not today I'm just not in the mood for the shenanigans". "If you want to have breakfast I can do that and we can go from there but whatever else you have going on let's leave it where it's at". I pulled out my chair to sit down and bless the food......my heart started to race. Don't you just hate anxiety?

(smack) I flung out of my seat, I could feel my face burning, my ear ringing, and my heart plunging out of my chest all at once as I tried to gather myself off the floor still in shock. "How come when I try to may things right you have to go and make it a situation", he asked. I felt blood trickle as I leaned over the chair for support still in a daze. He locked a handful of my hair into his fist prompting my head back he straddled his tongue in my mouth kissing the blood making eye contact as my tears surfaced. I could taste the mint-flavored crest and even felt it as it burned my new cut. He grabbed me by my forearm and elbow and helped me back to my feet, I could feel a migraine taking over. "Go get yourself cleaned up and come sit down and have a wonderful breakfast with your husband".

I stumbled for a second and got back balanced. I walked towards the bathroom and cut toward the bedroom this will be the last abuse I encounter from this bastard. As I rushed to my nightstand I noticed my drawer cracked open and I went to feel....nothing. He planned this out. Quickly I grabbed my purse....nothing. No pepper spray, mace, not even my pocket knife. Frustrated I begin to think about going out the window fleeing to start over this thing I call life. While opening the curtains...

(doorbell rings)

"I got it, Danii, just finish getting yourself together before coming to join.

"Okay baby", I responded.

I open the curtains to try and get a grasp of who was at my door this time in the morning, but I saw no one. I heard the door open I got up towards the bedroom door to eavesdrop. "How did you know I was here, you and her uniting against me or something"? No, I heard a woman's voice answer. "Then what"? On edge heated and ready to flip I begin to turn the knob to see who was this mystery woman in my home.

(pop, pop, pop)

Frozen. Almost glued in space and time I stood shocked. Unable to process what just happened I felt my knees buckle. I snatched open the door and ran into the living room...baffled. I wanted to scream but somehow my throat had this huge bulge that wouldn't allow me to budge. Not a single sound. As he lay in his puddle of blood, eyes open, stiff no movement the man that once stood in my home with life is in front of me lifeless now. I watched his blood start to outline his position and cradle him. I wanted to grab him and wake him but the two bullet holes in his chest and one in his head made me know that was not an option.

Eeeeek. I listened as the screen door shut I froze on the outside but my heart began to race and almost ripped its way out my chest, I suddenly realized I had my back towards the front door, leaving the mystery woman never to enter my sight. Once I saw the body I lost focus I slowly put my hands in the air, "Tell me what it is you want"? Tears began to flow like a river because any woman he had been dealing with to kill him I knew I was destined for the same. I mean ten years we been on this rodeo but never did I think it would end like this. Nothing, not a sound. I heard an engine I turned to see no one in the doorway, I ran out the door and jumped in mid-air to the sidewalk...

I watched the red Yukon with the tinted windows and busted right tail light creep down the road and once again cut the corner only this time I caught a glimpse of the license plate read "LOYAL1".

(CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO!)

Startled by my alarm I reached underneath the clock to disarm any more cuckoos. On the inside, I hated that clock but it did its job and I believe my grandmother is attached to it somehow. Crazy how she always knew when to show up even now. I gently laid back in bed and returned to my warm snuggled space. I relaxed my hand upon his chest and smiled at the 18-carat solitaire round-cut gold rose engagement ring, closed my eyes, and begin to drift back off. Hmph, I see dreams do come true.