Success at Failure

Often, the hardest pill to swallow, the one that sticks in your throat and causes you to nearly choke, is the one that teaches you the best lesson. That was the case for Ol' Albie, a good friend of my parents when I was growing up. He was a success at everything in life. Had a great job, was considered the best in his field, had an amazing car, beautiful wife and three exceptional kids, one of which was my best friend at the time. My father always claimed that Albie was matchless, special and whatnot. I wasn't so sure and felt he was just talking pish.

My dad talked a lot of pish in his time. It was one of those known things about him. Like..."my mum is a great cook" or "my dad is quick-witted". Except, "my dad talks a lot of pish" really wasn't the best boast.

Albie was no different from any other man I came across. He just had luck on his side or whatever unknown force of accidental glory you want to attribute to it. Some people seem to be in the right place at the right time. That's all. Often there was no rhyme or reason. You could say "positive thinking", "manifesting" and "speaking to the universe" were responsible and perhaps I am a little cynical. I prefer to see myself as a realist and pragmatic, though.

As much as it pains me to have concrete proof my dad was indeed full of pish... it's true and I must share the truth of the matter. Albie was a success in everything, other than failing.

That's not to say he didn't fail; he was a big failure, like Trump. In fact, I swear, if they were to play Top Trumps, they'd be neck in neck in the crap they'd managed to pull themselves out of because they were rich and had friends in high places.

Albie didn't know what it was like to fail. That was really his downfall. He did not like the word "no" and would find ways to turn any stuck-in-the-mud "no" that crossed his path into a fervent "yes". As you can imagine, if you are not completely oblivious or naive, this involved many different methods...not always 100% legal or morally sound, I would add.

However. One day, as is the way of these things, he learned a valuable lesson. Albie had been putting so much time and effort into his need for success he had not banked on his wife getting tired of his, let's say... pish. While he was riding the highest of highs, dining at the swankiest of swanky with a silent sprivate member's clubs and getting invited to all the galas, you know...posh pish, his wife had been slowly drawing away from him.

She had found solace and friendship in my dad of all people, so the story goes. I knew he was up to something... when he kept sneaking out while we kids were asleep. Mother had passed away a long time ago, but he obviously felt it might besmirch her memory if we knew he was up to his eyeballs in... well, I am not about to finish that sentence, not even for a book deal. Sorry Penguin's.

I mean, aside from him sleeping with my best friend's mother, and his best friend's wife, I was...I guess happy for the pish-talker. Eventually... Ol' Albie's wife, Janice her name was, left and stayed in a hotel before the divorce was finalised. Then she moved in with us. She was a good woman, really. I admired her ability to put up with the amount of pish Dad spoke on a daily basis. She seemed to find it charming or something.

What about Ol' Albie, you may be wondering? Well...he had to face the fact that one of the best things that had ever happened to him, besides his kids, was out of his life. He had failed. For the first time, his money, power and influence couldn't help him avoid failure. He had lost to a man who could talk pish for Scotland, England and Wales. Maybe not Northern Ireland...but, you get the picture.

What about a valuable lesson? Are you still sitting there reading? Crikey, you're keen. Well...he spent some time on his own, working on himself, even met up with Janice a few times, who was gracious enough and kind enough to explain what it was really like being married to "the man who never failed".

He had to eat a whole batch of humble pie on more than a dozen occasions at the very least. Eventually he moved on, though, and realised that failure had taught him a valuable lesson. Rather than just trying to use his wealth and power to get what he wanted...he could use his innate ability to talk pish. Though, not quite as well as my Dad.

That's a lesson, right?

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Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: This is my slightly humorous take on Mike's challenge, which you can find out more about following the link below.

FYI - pish = piss in Scottish/Glaswegian slang.

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