Subsistent Lies

How in the world mami got the money to buy me, Zaria, and Izzy new clothes for court I would probably never know. The dresses she bought were highly stylish which meant they were very expensive. “Mami where did you get the money to buy these dresses?” I asked as the servants assigned to me by Colin helped me into my dress.

“Don’t worry Gabby.” Mami said directing one of the servants on how to fix my hair.

“But mami how can I not worry after what has recently taken place in this family over money?” The room fell silent and I cursed myself.

“If it’ll make you feel better Gabby, I got the money from my dowry that your father thankfully didn’t touch and that the collectors didn’t find.” Mami said breaking the silence.

“But….

“Gabriella Fairavard! Just put the dress on and quit worrying!” Mami yelled turning away from the servant to look at me. “These dresses are fully paid for in an honest way. And if all goes as according to plan at court this family won’t have to worry about money ever again.” Mami finished telling the servant what to do with the rest of my preparation and then left.

I sighed and did as told. The servants looked at me in shock as they finished my preparations according to mami’s directions. I knew what they were thinking, the rebellious Gabby finally doing as she was told. Ever since papi’s death and what happened the day we moved in with Colin and Calib my reputation as the rebellious little hoyden of Anevia was slowly, but surely disappearing. I began to put my brains to better use and be more committed to my studies, I did my chores before I had to be told, helped cook dinner even though Colin and Calib said there were servants to do that, I was more respectful towards Zaria although things were still a little tense, and I began to be a better sister towards Izzy, but she still kept things to herself. I was starting to become the perfect lady to take for a wife. A part of me didn’t mind because if mami married me off to the right lord, I would be able to forgive myself for what happened because I would be able to sacrifice myself to help my family pay off the debt still standing. The other part of me was mad because I couldn’t be myself; I had to shape up while my sisters still got to be themselves. I guess it wasn’t right of me to be mad at them since it wasn’t them who had given mami and papi problems and put us in the position we were in.

When my preparations were done, I went down to the courtyard to await the carriage with mami, Zaria, and Izzy. “Why can’t I ride my horse mami?” I asked as I stared off towards the stables.

“Because a lady doesn’t ride a horse when she goes to be presented to the court.”

“What if I ride ladylike?”

“Gabby! No!”

“But mami, Epona will be restless without me near.” I whined. Since she didn’t say my full name, I thought I could change her mind.

Before she could answer, Colin came riding up on Epona, with Calib riding next to him on his horse, and the carriage following behind them. “That’s why I will be riding her up there.” Colin said halting a few inches away from us.

I lifted my skirts and ran to Epona. I stroked her mane and kissed her nose. She neighed happily. “Gabriella Fairavard. Be more careful, you could have ruined your dress.” Mami said getting into the carriage.

“Yes mami.” I said patting Epona and then walking towards the carriage. As I got in, I noticed armor by the driver’s side. “What’s the armor for?” I asked getting in.

Colin rode up beside us as the footmen shut the door. “Calib and I are participating in the tourney.”

I leaped up from my seat and hit my head on the roof. Sitting back down I held my head. “Over my dead body!” I yelled.

Mami gave me a stern look, but I ignored it. “Why Gabby I didn’t know you cared for my well-being.” Colin said placing a hand over his heart.

“Nay Colin it’s not your well-being I care for, it is Epona’s. If you think you’ll be entering the tourney with Epona you’re sadly mistaken.”

Colin’s face fell. “But she is the best horse for this kind of tourney.”

“I know she is and that is why I don’t want anything happening to her. Just because your horses are not up to Epona’s level and because she stays in your stable does not mean you can use her whenever you please.”

“Actually Gabby, when you and your family moved into our castle anything that we could sell for money to support you guys and that we wanted became ours; that included Epona.”

“You’re lying!” This time I opened the carriage door and was about leap out when mami held me back.

“Nay Gabby Colin tells the truth. The Gulliver’s were one of the people your father owed money to. When the King’s collectors took everything of value, and it became apparent to me that we wouldn’t be able to pay the rest of the debt your father owed to people and give King Arthur payment for living on the farm just by selling our goods, Lord Gavin said he would pay the rest of the people your father owed money to and we could take residence in his castle, until we could find somewhere else to live if I gave him everything that we had left that was of value.”

“Is papi’s debt repaid?”

“To everyone, but Lord Gavin.”

“How much do we owe him?”

Before mami could answer, Colin answered for her. “If I win this tourney your debt will be repaid to us and your horse will be returned to you because I know part of my winning will be due to your great training of Epona.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.” Colin said making a cross over his heart.

I settled in my seat and waited for the carriage to take off. Colin and Calib took each side of the carriage and in a few moments, we were off. Zaria and Izzy were staring at me with concern; I focused my gaze out the window. “Mami how much money do we have to our names”

“Only what’s left in my dowry.”

“How much is that?”

“Not that much.”

“So we have dropped from the wealthy to the poor.” Mami kept silent. “I see.”

As I stared out the window, I saw Colin ride by with Epona. Despite how well Epona was trained, I knew Colin would not be able to win the tourney. Even though he was trained by the best, he was an amateur. Somehow I had to get him to change his mind and if I couldn’t he would be very sorry.

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As the carriage reached its destination and the footmen helped us out, I went in search of Colin. I spotted him in the stables feeding Epona some oats. He must have heard me coming up behind him because without turning he said, “don’t try to change my mind Gabby it won’t work.”

“Colin be reasonable. Do you have any idea what you’re risking?”

Colin turned around to face me. “Are you talking about me or your precious horse?”

“Don’t be silly Colin of course I’m talking about you. If you go out on that field you will get seriously hurt and then where will that leave my family and me? Still indebted to your father and me without Epona.”

“You don’t care for me at all do you!?” Colin yelled making Epona prance uneasily. “You care only for the welfare of your horse and whether or not your family gets out of debt! To think I had thought you had changed about holding animals higher than humans on your list of things you cared about! Well thanks a lot for caring so much about me Gabby! I will consider your concern when I am on the field. You may go.” Colin turned his back towards me dismissing me.

“Colin.” I said putting a tentative hand on his shoulder.

“I said go!” Colin yelled shrugging my hand off his shoulder.

I turned ready to retreat, but then a part of the old Gabby returned to me. “I refuse to leave until you give me your word that you won’t step foot onto that field!” Colin turned to face me fury on his face ready to scold me for my disobedience. “Do you want to know how much I care for you Colin!?” Colin nodded at me wanting me to continue. “I care for you so much that I rather have you alive and whole, while mami marries me off to whatever rich lord she sees suitable so that I may pay off papi’s debt to your father!”

“What of my honor, Gabby? You would have my honor suffer more among people who ridicule the Gulliver name, so I won’t get hurt and so you may be married off to someone else that’s not me so your debt can be paid off.”

I didn’t take recognition of what he said because I was so intent on getting him to change his mind about stepping foot on that field. “Yes, if it means I don’t lose someone else I love.” I whispered in defeat.

Colin’s face softened. “You love me?”

“Of course I love you Colin.” I said placing a hand on his cheek. He placed his hand over mine. “You’ve been with me since childhood; you are like a brother to me.” Colin’s hand dropped from mine and his face showed despair for a brief moment. My hand dropped from his face and I kicked myself when what he said about marrying someone that was not him registered in my head. He wants to marry me, he really truly loves me, but my love for him is not the same love he has for me.

“You worry too much Gabby.” Colin said his tough guy expression overshadowing his grief about what I said as he turned to brush Epona.

I turned him around to face me. “I worry too much! These knights are among the Kings best and they do not give up easily! Especially not to someone of your rank! I do not want to see you hurt! I want to see you happily married and with children! I don’t see that possible if you are maimed!”

“Has anyone told you, you look cute when you are mad?” Colin said grabbing my shoulders and kissing me on the forehead. “You will make a great addition to the Gulliver family. When we have children, I hope our daughters have your beauty and spirit.”

“Colin! I’m not jesting!” I said getting out of his grasp.

“Neither am I. Win or lose you will get your horse back and your debt will be repaid.” Colin returned to brushing Epona.

I looked at him confused. “I don’t understand.”

“When you are presented at court, I will ask for your hand in marriage. Out of all your other suitors I am most positive your mother will favor me, especially if it means getting rid of your debt to my father.”

I stared at Colin shocked. Lord knows the thought of being married to anyone detested me, especially to my best friend. Although we were two peas in a pod, I meant what I said when I said I loved him as a brother. To be married to him would be like committing incest in my eyes. Better to marry a friend than some unknown lord that could turn out to be a tyrant. I guess in time I would learn to love him like a woman and not as a sister. I did say I would marry whoever offered that would fix my family’s problems so that I may forgive myself. If Colin was to be one of my suitors, I might as well start acting like a bride-to-be since more than likely it was his offer mami would force me to take. “Why risk it?” I asked taking the brush away from Colin and throwing it to the ground, making him turn to face me. “Give me your word and I’ll accept your offer here and now denying all other suitors.” I grabbed his arm and hung on to it as I tilted my face up so my eyes bore into his. “I will be yours now and forever. Just give me your word. Colin I beg of you.”

Colin cupped my chin in his hand. “You have no idea how tempting that sounds my lady.” But. I thought as he gave me a light kiss on my lips. “I wish I could grant you that wish, but I cannot, I have to prove myself.”

I wrenched my face from his grasp and let go of his arm stepping back into the wall of the stable. “Of what!? Who!? If it’s to prove yourself to me, don’t bother you are already worthy in my eyes! However, if you go through with this ridiculous plan I will only see you as a pigheaded boy who won’t listen to reason! Colin, don’t do it, please.” I whispered.

I felt tears in my eyes. I shifted my face to the side to let my tears drop onto my shoulders. Colin’s footsteps slowly approached me and I found myself staring at him with tears clouding his face. “I will return to you unharmed and a champion. Don’t worry, with the prospect of having you for a wife I will definitely make sure I come back to you unharmed so I will be able to consummate our wedding.” He bent his head to kiss me, but I looked away so he could only kiss my cheek.

Pulling away I said, “you have made an unwise decision and an enemy of your future wife my lord,” and then I left. On the way out, I spotted Zaria off to the side.