Starting Routines

"Why does you hair not dry in your sleep? That's sucky. Well, whatever. That means you listened to me yesterday and that makes me feel so powerful, girly! Let's do that obedience thing again okay? Good morning ho. Wake up. I don't have much time."

No one else but Carmine could be back at it again. By the tone of his voice, I could tell he's been yelling at me for what could've been the last ten minutes, or maybe more, but I didn't hear a single one of his rants, at least awake enough that I could remember.

For my entire life, I've slept huddled up in a ball wherever I passed out in my tiny space underground. Laying down in a bed was a luxury that I didn't expect to be able to live myself, but life sure does throw its curve balls, evidently.

Plot twists fall from the sky and it's only a matter of time before it bonks you on the head. But this was one that gave me the best nights sleep I've ever had. One where I can feel safe and secure, without worrying that it's a possibility that I won't see tomorrow if someone of the outside world laid their eyes on me. I'd just as well hibernate if it always felt this nice.

"Jeez, Idaho. Now! Seriously! I'm gonna be late. You owe it to me anyway. Did you know of every room in my house you had to choose mine?" He yanked at my wrist until the force was enough that I had to sit up, and his hands cupped my face. He smacked my cheeks with his fingers so I wouldn't dare lay back down and go back into my dream world. I swear it wouldn't have been enough, but the way he nicknamed me was becoming a pet peeve it's all I can pay attention to: Once the hair on my skin raised out of my anger, my brain wasn't tired anymore.

"Do you think about what state of America you're gonna call me the next time or is being a nerd of every place in this hell hole a hobby of yours?" I squinted my eyes at him, but he found it humorous.

"Awh. You're cute when you're mad. Not much of a morning person, are you?" He cooed, pinching one of cheeks to bring the teasing to a higher intensity. It's afterward that he brought himself to answer, but it's not out of the options I gave him. He couldn't be nice to me even if I was just starting my day. "I don't know what I do. If I study it or if it comes natural, you woke up because of it, so whose the real winner here?"

"I hate you." I said it simply, as I stood up. The wood floor was cold it sent chills to my spine. It's as if I could feel the nerves of my feet send a freeze to my brain, but as he tailed behind my route, I knew I couldn't let something like that stop me so easily. It couldn't be missed by the speed in my walk much further ahead of him — it indicated how much he pissed me off.

I turned into the living room to see the coffee table was full of several plastic bags. He really outdid himself when he went out for skin care last night.

"How adorable. I love you too, babe." He said it with the cutesy tone of a toddler. When I turned to him out of disbelief, I was were flabbergasted with what I saw, and not with what I heard. The bish has the audacity to blow me a kiss? After all this nonsense he's put me through? He's supposed to help me not get killed. Not make me wanna slit my own throat. I'm not the girl up for clichés, even if he is the Carmine Jung.

"Please, go back to calling me Idaho." I retorted sarcastically. I went through the bags before he asked me to, and for the first few moments he watched me from about a five feet distance, observing what I'd get out of it. The gap between us felt like a rope on fire that couldn't be put out.

"Alrighty then, Idaho. Listen up, before I run out of time. I literally need to be at the set in twenty minutes." The space that would've been so difficult for me to get used to was extinguished by a word from him. That's all it took. Rage filled my body for a few heartbeats because of his nickname choices, but I couldn't make much of a deal of this one. I asked for that.

He sat down on the floor where I was kneeling, tall enough to peer over my shoulder. "If you don't remember, mom said I need to give you ten minute formal lessons so you can protect yourself in this wicked world until it can change for the better. She's on my butt about it 24/7 and in case you didn't know, a happy mom means a happy family, so let's start."

I furrowed my eyebrows at him while I moved aside. I had no idea where he was going with this, but I could tell by how he moved he would've nudged me aside if I didn't scoot over myself. I crossed my legs on the fluffy carpet, clutching my fingers into the light color.

"Okay?" It's all I was able to say. It took that word and only it to show that I thought he was crazy. Or maybe that I was just lost at this point of what he was trying to make of this. I watched him line up four bottles of products along many across the floor, in different sizes and shapes. What more could I do, but watch?

"Take notes. Cleanser, peel off mask, toner, moisture essence thingy. Your skin will thank you." He pointed to each one too fast for me, an inexperienced woman in the land of self-care, to remember. "Try it out. They're made of flower petals, so every time you go through your routine you can think of me."

"You're being contradicting. So is it bad for my skin then?" I faked fright on my expression, and skimmed my cheeks lightly with the tips of my fingers like I feared he was wishing the worst for it. Sounds like something super Carmine to do. Absolutely ruin me.

"The heck? No! Are you doubting me? It's the most gentle thing ever. It's refreshing in a bottle." Like I expected, he was defensive, even if I was messing around. Fair I guess, since majority of the time, there is a level of truth in a joke.

"What about you is gentle? You seem pretty cruel to me." I bit my lip so I wouldn't start complaining further. Man, I can promise I can rant about this guy for an entire month straight, and I've known him personally how many hours?

He looked me in the eyes without a word for a good minute, but the face of that new moon emoji seemed to possess him. He didn't blink, he was so into portraying that type of role. "It depends what you mean, Nevada. If you're talking about my personality, I'm quite the gentle person. But if you're talking about when I book a hotel—."

"Shut up! I'm starting the routine. Let me concentrate." I yelled to block him from continuing on.

I didn't trust words to be enough, I had to put pressure on my ears and close my eyes. My vision and hearing abilities needed a break. Nothing could stop how hard he laughed though. I knew that regardless, just by the way the air felt he was dying of laughter. He'd be crying any second now. I wouldn't be surprised.

"I didn't even say anything! You thought it!" He barely got the words out. By a glance at him, I could see I was right. Tears were swelling up, not enough to fall down his cheeks.

I did my best to ignore him, and I went for the first thing I could remember he pointed to in the products he lined up. I followed the instructions on the back of the bottle, massaging them into my skin in circular motions, and dabbing it softly so it could be more absorbed or something? I don't know, I've never done this before, okay? No need for the judgment.

Of course, he thought there was. His laughter died down into nothing. It was hidden with an agitated look that he seemed to put extra effort in emphasizing. He almost looked offended, I guess I could say. He definitely didn't like what he was seeing.

"Give me that!" He shouted when he couldn't bear to watch any longer, and swiped it right out of my hands. "Have you never done this before?"

"Does a girl running away from the government all her life look like the kind of person who would know there's a proper way to rubbing liquids all over her face?"

"Touché." I almost had to smile after going off because of how quietly he said it. It was disappointing that I wouldn't have that on repeat, but he wasn't done. He doesn't give up without a fight, even when he knows I'm not wrong. "Just go wash off your face, and let me do step two. I'll actually do it properly so more rice doesn't pop up under you skin."

I glared at him, but let him take the control he was so badly longing for and obeyed with a sigh. With my face still soaked from the rinse, he waited for my return with a headband stretched in his two hands. He adjusted his position to have a better angle for whatever he needed to do, before the headband went down to my neck and back up to my forehead, all by his doing. It held my hair back and exposed my skin for its true condition.

It felt weird whenever he'd come so close to me. Was it that he was too close or that it was new to me? Or both? Or something else? I don't understand.

With a silicone brush, he spread an even layer of the peel off mask along my upper cheeks to start. I shut my eyes out of fear that his carelessness would get it into them, but when he went onto the forehead, the chin and other locations of my face, I didn't have faith in him enough that made me feel I should open my eyes back up.

"You do know that I'm not applying eyeshadow, right? You don't have to keep your eyes shut." He had to give me a hard time about it. I was expecting that he would; I was counting down the time for when he would start, but if came a lot sooner than I expected it to.

"I can't—." I stammered through a response. Because it came too soon, I didn't have an answer for him. I'd think of something to say later; that's how it always works. But for now, I had nothing.

"Just open them. It's strange looking at you with your eyes shut." He commanded. The brush rubbed against my face, as he evened out the layer some more.

"Fine." I gave in, allowing my eyes to flutter open. He was sitting in a position higher up than me that shoved his lips right into my eye level. The way he'd bite it when he was concentrating or the way he'd stick his tongue out so slightly when he was trying to focus, I couldn't miss it if I tried, and dang was it hot. I can't lie.

I know that every single person on this planet has those perfect luscious lips that I could only dream of having. They all have those typical kissable lips that are so irresistible with a charm it earned on its own. So I know very well that everyone has that dreamy set that make you admire and stare out of awe, but Carmine is something else. It's not about ranking 100. It's about the addiction my eyes jumped into once they ran into that beauty of creation with no way out.

He's always known how to drive me crazy, but to admit it in this way; that it's my infatuation and lust was what his lips demanded from me, I could never. It's not that I love him, the real him off screen. He irritates me at every second and having feelings for someone doesn't happen overnight. It's a process. But is he too perfect for his own good? I would say so. I know so. I'm certain of that.

"Michigan, I gotta get going. Peel it off in 15 minutes and head to step three. I'll see you this evening and I'll check for any improvements then."

I shook my head when he talked out of nowhere to plant my mind back on earth. He stood up, brushing himself off, as he headed toward the door. Thank God, he didn't notice anything. He turned back once to wave goodbye. How can a person be so pleasing to the eye, but so poisonous to the blood?

"Okay, Carmine. See you."