SoulMate

Greetings Reader,

This is probably going to be hard to understand, but I feel like I need to represent myself and express things that you may need to have knowledge of. When you have been in existence for as long as I have, you come to the understanding that all things are fluid. Memories are fluid. Names, dates and places are constantly changing. Time is relative. For me, the one singular thing that remains constant and solid and has never changed is my Energy, my Consciousness of Being. My Consciousness grows and stretches as I gain knowledge through experiences, but the Core Being that is me, is still here and has always been here and has not changed. Without getting too far into the deep end of the philosophy of it all, allow me to explain what I mean.

My name is Rachel. It's a funny thing about names. Everything has to have a label. A flat rectangular surface with a long peg attached to each corner is called a “TABLE”, right? Everybody knows that. It can be made from a dozen different materials like wood, metal or plastic. It can come in a multitude of sizes or heights. It can be indoor or outdoor. Even if you say it in different languages, like Mesa, Tableau, Asztal, or Itafula; it still comes out to reference the rectangular thing with four legs.

My point is, Rachel is the label I most often choose to go by, but that is not my “name”. Throughout my existence, throughout my conscious memory, I have taken many forms and gone by many different names. Some humans only sense me. Feel me. A tickle down the spine, or maybe a “cold spot”. I could pontificate for eons about this topic, names and labels. For people that have seen or sensed me, the labels I experience most often are Ghost, Spirit, Energy, Entity, some people call me an Alien, some an Angel. But from my perspective, it matters not. I really don't care what label is assigned to me. Labels do not change the core essence of my Being. As I said before the one thing that remains constant and solid and has never changed is my Core. You could call me Male, Female, Black, White, Young, Old, Rich, or Poor. But the truth is I DO NOT have gender, or race, or age, or economic status. But for your ease and comfort, so that you have a label to assign to me, call me Rachel.

If, at this point, you remain interested, Dear Reader, you may be wondering “What is the point?”, “Why?”, “Why are you choosing to express yourself now through the medium of writing?” The answer to that question is because I feel like it's time. That's another subject matter you don't really need to ask me about. I could also spend eons talking about the concept of “TIME”. It's strange how “time” works on my side of the clock. It flows differently. Mainly, I guess the best way it explain it in a way you could understand is to just say, we don't use labels of time. We don't count seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years. Your experience is just your experience. One week is the same equivalent of time as one year, one second is the same as a century. Generally, our existence is one, solid, unit of infinity that changes, stretches and grows.

As I said, Your Core Consciousness is the only solid constant in this flowing fluid. There are other Beings around me. I can sense them, see them, feel them. We don't always connect with other, or are in close proximity to each other, but there is always an awareness that there is one. THE ONE. Humans seem to think if you are on my side of existence that you have all the answers to the universe and all its mysteries. That is simply not the case. I understand few things, but as my Consciousness expands, more things are revealed and become clear. Again, having to refer back to human labels, you might call it “Reincarnation”. My first memory is just “being”. Being there, being in existence, kinda floating in nothingness. Not moving or doing anything. But I felt this pull, this urge, this desire to find something. Or someone. That there was a piece of my Energy that was missing. True Energy can never be extinguished or depleted. Energy just changes forms, or shapes. But, from my point of view, Reincarnation doesn't exactly touch the truth of my experience of how my Energy flows and forms.

I have a new mission, a urge, a purpose that I have given to myself. I have been human many times. But there is always something, OR SOMEONE, somewhere that I feel I need to find. So now, I feel the need to go back. I think about my situation as “repositioning”. I get to be given a purpose here or there in different bodies, different lives, different circumstances. I once heard a human had said “The human soul remembers every life its ever lived”. Whoever said that, I agree 100%. But, this ties into what I said before, time flows differently from my perspective. A Human Life, from a Human perspective, may last 80 years. A Human Life, from my Consciousness perspective, may last the blink of an eye. I can move backwards and forwards. I can go back to another time and experience it again. The Human word for this, I suppose, would be Memory. Humans can recall memories at any time by simply concentrating on an important event in their lives. For me, recalling memories can mean I relive it. I can go back in time and relive the scenarios that I am remembering.

My point on going on this journey, the entire reason I'm putting myself through this is to find THEM. The one that I am supposed to find. The piece of me that is missing, and has always been missing. Why it is missing, or how it came to be missing in the first place, I'm not sure. I really don't know. I just know I have to find it and it has to be reattached, reabsorbed, renewed into myself for me to be complete and whole. I would like to take you on this journey and hopefully your own Consciousness can grow through my experiences.