Solstice Spell

It is the longest day of 2024, June 20th, in the northern hemisphere and, unexpectedly, I am back again on this small island, long ago called Taystayic, and now inhabited by painters, artists, musicians, natural lovers, and spiritual people. Among them, my beloved white headed-wrapped Kundalini yoga teachers.

“In honour of the Summer Solstice, we want to invite you all to a blissful 31-minute chanting meditation today, Thursday, June 20th, at 6:30 pm.” Such a normal invitation, and yet I know that once we are there, in their farm, at their yoga studio, the chanting will bring about its magic, as it always has:

‘Guru Guru Wha Hay Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru’

‘Guru Guru Wha Hay Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru’

‘Guru Guru Wha Hay Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru’

Literally: ‘Wise, wise is the One who serves Infinity’. As usual, as the meditation progresses, I feel like I am floating and my body vibrates, blending with the voices of everyone. My mind travels far, far away, thinks about my love, my partner for life, my swan as they say in Finland. Where are you now?

He is on the other side of the planet, celebrating Juhannus (Midsummer). “In this time of the year you can cast love spells”. I think he said. Really? “A young maiden puts seven flowers under her pillow on Midsummer night, resulting in her future fiancée appearing in her dreams.” My thought: “I don’t need a spell anymore – I found you!”

But wait, where was I a year ago? I was on this island, again, but I was lost, saying goodbye to a life that never belonged entirely to me. In my Canada-journal, the entry of last year reads: “As for the solstice, I love how much you get connected to the cycles of life, of the sun, of the planet. And yet, I still feel a bit lost - who am I?” Was I too focused on myself (concerned about surviving) that I ended up lost (not living)? “You’ll find him when you become in love with yourself,” my teachers said. Memories keep popping up in my head.

‘Guru Guru Wha Hay Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru’

‘Guru Guru Wha Hay Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru’

‘Guru Guru Wha Hay Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru’

Last year, I started healing when I stopped being self-centred (concerned about what was going to be there for me), and started flowing and doing what needed to be done: no witnesses, no records. Now I remember: these rides on my bike up and down the hill, all along the island back and forth to bring some food, to cook, to help, to clean.

I keep on chanting the mantra, listening to it (or maybe even more sensing it) over and over again. I can somehow feel how it is cleansing me as well and getting me ready for a new chapter, that would not be anymore in solitude, and yet without my conscious (and at times ridiculous) intervention.

“This meditation is being offered in the spirit of healing ourselves and the world at large.” Why is it important to heal ourselves, to heal the world? “The path of self-referencing is the path of suffering.” But when you’re busy with the world outside of you, (unexpectedly) you are just fine.

‘Guru Guru Wha Hay Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru’

‘Guru Guru Wha Hay Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru’

‘Guru Guru Wha Hay Guru, Guru Ram Das Guru’

“This mantra meditation brings a sense of comfort and wellbeing. It is said to create miracles.” Is it love that it brought to me? Or maybe it is love that I am turned into? Whatever the reason, it is clear that if I want us to succeed I have to see you as well as me, but not in the same way; and here comes the paradox: being focused on what is needed outside of me, while at the same time trying to fix the only thing that is up to me, i.e. me.

B.C., Canada, 2024