So Many Commemorations, So Few Days
January 19: Day 19 of Story-a-Day Challenge
January 19 is National Popcorn Day, National Gun Appreciation Day, and New Friends Day.
True, these are the product of self-promotion on the part of, as examples, The Popcornhusker State, PopNebraska; the gun lobby, who feels we should appreciate how guns — VERY easily — put extra holes in people; and — perhaps — your old friends who think it might be time to get some new friends.
Who has authority to make these national days? Is there a National Day Committee?
May I be so bold to, officially, under my assumed power and authority, designate other observances for today, January 19? No slouch in the self-promotion sphere, I can. Take me to court, otherwise, but wait until NATIONAL TAKE-ME-TO-COURT DAY.
NATIONAL OXYMORON DAY
Not what you think. This day celebrates a tendency for morons to gather in four pairs. There are couples who qualify as romantic and morons and, strangely enough, they seem to further couple in groupings of four couples. Most serious investigators think it has something to do with valence and empty orbital shells, of which any one oxymoron has many. When more than eight morons bond together, the whole thing, chemically, becomes unstable and decays into a mob. Think political party, movement, or even some congregations who speak for God.
NATIONAL HYPOCRISY DAY
This celebrates those who either combine Pro-choice positions while condemning capital punishment; or who are Pro-life but have no issues with capital punishment. Both quintessential liberals and conservatives, respectively, argue the day belongs to them.
NATIONAL KICK SOMEONE'S ASS DAY
You've seen those handwritten stickies on people's backs saying, "KICK ME!" That gives permission to kick someone's ass at any time. (Hey, who hasn't, right?) But on this day, you don't need a note. You don't need permission. There are those who sorely need that podiatric reminder: it is usually an emergency. Do it right and do it hard.
NATIONAL "I FORGOT" DAY
Get away with anything today. When called on it, simply offer, "I forgot." It's easier to be labeled stupid than to face justice.
And don't forget tomorrow — NATIONAL "TOMORROW'S TODAY" DAY. Bend your space-time reality, but do it yesterday.
About the Creator
Gerard DiLeo
Retired, not tired. Hippocampus, behave!
Make me rich! https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/
My substrack at https://substack.com/@drdileo
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My First Week On Slimming World It’s my first week on Slimming World’s new plan and I’ve lost a fantastic four pounds. I’ve been eating lots of fruit and veg, even though veg really isn’t my thing, along with chicken, meat and fish, and still enjoying a little treat using my sins, now called Swips. It feels balanced, doable, and I don’t feel deprived. Four pounds off in week one feels amazing and has really spurred me on. Next Christmas, I will be happy. Please give me a like and a comment to cheer me on, it honestly means so much ♥️♦️♥️
By Marie381Uk 6 days ago in Fiction
Comments (2)
Now i have to go make up some days myself. National make up a day day. Hmmm! Ideas are forthcoming.
Excellent. I love the idea but unfortunately, for me, something like would have to wait until after April. My job is from November to April each year and that doesn't really give me time to write. However ..... your prompts have given me some GREAT ideas. Thank you for writing this. It's awesome.