So Beautiful

The lake shimmered in the setting sun. Tones of gold and orange flecked across the rippling water. The woman, slight of build, sat on the edge of the long wooden dock. She shivered and pulled her shawl closer around her shoulders. Sighing, she watched as spirals of autumn leaves twirled across the lake. It was beautiful, she thought. Watching the last of the light disappear beyond the horizon the harsh neon sign light lit up behind her. She turned and stared at it, wishing it would blow its billboard lights and stop the constant humming.

WELCOME TO BEAUTIFUL LAKE CATHIE.

STOCKED WITH FISH SO YOU CAN STOCK YOUR FRIDGE.

Scoffing, she turned back to the dark waters. The light from the sign reflected in the waters.

Almost time, she thought with a sense of anticipation. Her heart started racing a little faster, her senses became more aware and she pulled the shawl closer.

“Come on dad, hurry up!”

“Hold up honey. The fish aren’t going anywhere.”

The man's hair was starting to grey. Beside him a young girl dressed in light blue jeans and a tartan shirt, slightly too big, raced down past the woman. She plonked herself down on the edge of the jetty. The woman smiled at the girl. The man started to unpack the fishing gear.

“You know, this place used to be hidden. No one ever came to the lake. Not until they started to advertise it. Used to be a lot more fish here when I was a kid.”

The girl smiled. “Back in your day-”

“Hey, my day wasn’t so long ago...”

The woman smiled at the exchange. She felt warm despite the breeze.

“Well I hope we catch lots of fish. Mum loves a good fry up”.

“That she does my darling” the man replied, reaching and hugging his daughter as the moon hung low in the sky.

The woman watched as they fished. The girl was ecstatic when she landed her first large trout and her father jumped with joy, whooping and lifting her to the sky when she had landed her fourth.

The woman's breath was forming pale shapes in the darkness now. She wrapped her arms around her bony ribs as tight as they would go. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks.

“What’s that out there?” the young girl questioned, her arm outstretched to a shape in the middle of the lake.

“It’s probably just a tree branch”

“Dad, look out there” the girl pleaded.

The shape looked ghostly in the moonlight. The man squinted his eyes, trying to make out what was floating in the lake. He noticed that with the breeze, the large shape was slowly making its way towards them.

“I think it’s an animal sweetheart. Trust me, you don’t want to see a bloated carcass. And if it hits the pier it might burst.”

He started to pack up the fishing gear. But the girl was intrigued. She didn’t know what it was that made her look down, but something pulled her eyes towards the edge of the pier at something floating in the water.

“Dad,” she whispered. “Dad look” and she reached into the water to pull out the floating thing.

She turned slowly around and the man saw his daughter, illuminated by the neon sign, holding a shawl. He looked back at the floating shape, dropped the fishing gear, and dived into the water.

It was so beautiful she thought. Nothing bad could happen here. Not at her lake. Not with her dad.

She watched with fear as she saw her dad struggling with the shape. In the dark, it looked like tendrils were grasping and pulling him under.

“Dad,'' she screamed into the night. But the only sound was the hum of the giant billboard. And then it flickered and the light disappeared. She was on the edge of the dark lake, her heart pounding and her whole body shaking.

“Dad,” she screamed again. She could still see him out in the lake struggling. Taking a deep breath the girl plunged into the water.

“Wait” screamed the woman and she tore after the girl. But the girl took no notice and started to swim out to her father, hoping to rescue him from the long tendrils dragging him under.

The woman fell to her knees and started to pound the sand with her closed fists. She then tore at her face with her nails, cutting into her smooth skin. She screamed, cursing God until her voice was hoarse. She curled up in the shadow of the neon sign as it started to flicker. She looked up and scoffed at the word ‘WELCOME’. It was the only word to illuminate the dark. With hesitation, she looked at her arms, bloodied and scratched by her nails. She moved closer to the water and looked at her reflection. Blood stained her cheeks where her nails had dug into her skin. She stared at her wrists and broke into sobs. Her fingers traced the long lines that cut themselves into her skin. Broken, she lay in the flickering light of the neon billboard waiting for the night to end.

Sunlight forced its way across the top of the water and the woman hissed. Only in the night was she allowed to live. To re-watch her husband and daughter fishing and laughing. Only in the night could she look into their faces again and wish she could change it all. She thought living was the hardest thing to do. She was wrong.

Pulling her shawl close, she slowly walked into the lake finally drowning out the incessant humming from the billboard. Her long black hair floated on the surface whilst cold fingers reached out to find nothing but regret and sorrow. She looked up towards the shafts of morning light filtering down through the water and thought Yes, it is beautiful as the lake water filled her mouth and her body merged into the darkness.

So beautiful.