Sick

I wake up in a panic, gasping for air; the oxygen burns my throat as if I was breathing in salt water. My body hurts, I correct my mind. This. This body hurts. I push away the past, erase the life that I was just living. Martha, and Cam. I push their face to the back of my mind where I keep the rest of them.

I’m afraid to open my eyes, what is waiting for me here. Where am I? who am I?

“Ma'am?” The voice forces me to reality faster than I would like.

Sunlight stings my eyes, their eyes. a tall man, in white stands in front of me“ Ma’am,” he says again. “ Are you okay? Can I get you anything?” I smile at him. Taking a look around me trying to piece together my surroundings in the few seconds I have.

I’m sitting at a table, on the patio of a restaurant. “ I'm fine, can I just get a glass of water?” the waiter nods leaving me at the table alone. I now take notice, there are other people sitting around the patio, enjoying their afternoon, none of them aware that a life that was just here is gone, taken by another.

I reach my hand to my neck, fondling the accessory I know will be there, it always is. The locket is warm. It brings me a sense of relief, I have no idea who I am, but a heart shaped locket that won’t even open brings me comfort. I feel my eyes prickle, but I'll take comfort where I can.

The waiter brings my water, I gulp it greedily; I'm always so thirsty after a change. I pull out a twenty, from the bag next to me and leave it on the table.

I don't know where I’m going, but she does. They always do. On our way I feel the eyes of the sick eyeing me from behind the line.

I admire her, this body i'm occupying, no one walks anywhere. Not with the sick outside.

We arrive at a brownstone half a block from the end of the line. I open the door to a well lit home. White walls broken with a few accents of green and pink. It smells like vanilla and I spot the incense sitting on a shelf surrounded by pictures.

There are many people in the pictures, some clearly family members. But there is one woman occupying every one. I wonder is that me now?

In a few pictures she is wearing scrubs, she was a doctor then. Not surprising since she wasn’t uncomfortable being around the sick. Even with the laws prohibiting anyone from having contact.

I'm hit with a sudden wave of exhaustion, my locket practically beating with warmth against my chest. I should have gone straight to bed the moment I walked in. I know how this works. I run up the stairs opening the first door I find, thankfully there is a bed, I collapse onto it. Darkness consumes me.

Reset it! send her back in.

I’m trying, I wasn't expecting her to fight sleep so long . Are you sure she can take being forced back in so soon?

She’ll take it for as long as I say. Don’t you dare try and tell me differently.

sending her back now.

I wake up to the sound of water falling. blankets cradling me in my own warmth. The water suddenly stops, and my heart freezes. I’ve always hated this part. Meeting the people who made their life whole. I had hoped that she had no one. That just once I would be allowed the comfort of solitude. A door opens and I feel steam escape the bathroom door.

should I lie to myself a bit longer? pretend I can hide in sleep forever. “Paige, are you awake?” a male voice whispers into my ear. Paige at least I have a name now. I stretch my arms acting like his words woke me up. The moment I see his face her brain connects it. “Marshall?” he smiles, his wet hair dripping on my cheek, as he bends down a bit further to kissing the place where it fell. “ Are you feeling okay? It’s not like you to nap.” he places the back of his hand to my head, “ a little warm, but not too bad.”

“Just tired.” he smiles again.

“Are you feeling up to going to the meeting tonight? It won't be the same without you, but Dust and the others will understand.”

My mood brightens at the idea of not having to deal with learning her life today, but I've learned there is no running from it. “No, I'm fine, give me a second and I'll be up.”

“Okay hurry we leave in five.”

Marshall seems to have the same feelings about the sick as Paige, Walking next to the line separating the sick as if one touch wouldn’t condemn him to the other side.

“Hey, beautiful night isn’t it?” Marshall asks a guard as we pass him. “ Sure is Marshall; Paige, nice to see you.” I nod in response. “Make sure you guys are inside by curfew, and Marshall remember our talk. don't get too close to the line.”

“Don’t even worry about it, I know the laws.” Marshall grabs my hand and we continue our walk down the road.

Turning the corner, Marshall stops again. looking around, making sure no one is watching. “Paige I put it in your bag.” I reach inside the bag at my side pulling out a brown lunch sack. I hand it to him, and he walks to the edge of the line pushing a plank of wood aside revealing a small entrance, he crawls under, Paige’s body is quick to react. I can’t help the fear that erupts in me. What is he doing, what were they doing if, caught we would be stuck back here rotting with the rest of them. I’m suddenly assaulted by the smell of unwashed molding flesh. If Marshall is affected by it he doesn’t acknowledge it for a second.

I'm about to stand up, when a dirty hand filled with purple blisters extends out to me. Paige immediately reaches for it, I try to pull back. But I snap out of it, and let my hand grasp his. Holding back the disgust that courses through my body. He pulls me up into his arms. “Paigey I missed you.” He pulls back and my mind places him. “Ive missed you too dad.”

“Dust says we have a special guest tonight. Head of the committee.” he places his hand on my back and leads me further past the line. Marshall is in front of us, Handing sandwiches from the brown bag to some of the sick.

“You found a good one Paige, it makes me feel better knowing that while I'm stuck here. I know the field you were in before makes you guys feel obligated to take care of the slack, to help change things back to the way they used to be. Just promise me Paige you will be careful?” I nod my head. And he pulls me to him pecking my cheek with his blistered lips.

We turn down an alley, and Marshall knocks on a metal door. A second passes before the door opens, and Marshall goes in. we follow quickly.

It looks like an old bar. A stage is lit by candles. There is a table of people handing out food to the sick standing in a line.

Paiges’ dad places a hand on my shoulder. “I’m going to get in line, your mother didn’t feel strong enough to make it but I want to ask Dust if I can bring her a plate. My heart clenches at the mention of her mom.

“Hey, how is your Dad?” Marshall asks now standing next to me. “He’s doing good.” I say smiling at him. He pulls me into his side. “ Dust says Melanie Stewart will be here any minute. The name sounds so familiar to me, but if Paige knows her, her brain doesn’t connect it. “It’s about time right, now this sector can be a part of the fight.” I nod at him.

Fight? What fight? What is The committee?

“Welcome everyone”, dust yells from the stage. “Take what you need from the food tables. happy to finally introduce someone who has not settled for what the government tells us about the sick, The head of the committee Melanie Stewart. The crowd filled with sick and well alike erupts into cheers.

A woman with long brown hair pulled into a ponytail walks to the front of the stage. I know her, recognition is at the tip of my memory, but I can’t recall just how I know her.

“Thank you all for coming here today. For all of you who refuse to believe what the government tells us. That society is unfixable that the sick are inhuman and that a mere touch will result in a sickness incurable and fatal. But, How many of you have touched the sick, spent hours with them and here you stand completely fine.

I look around the room at everyone nodding along to her words. What is she talking about? Is it all a lie?

“How many of you tried to change things, stood up for the weak? Were in positions of power? How many of you were rewarded for these things with an injection, making you sick and weak; left behind the line for death? Well today I stand here. To confirm your fears, the sickness is fake, created by the emperor to take down the strong and control the weak. And I’m here to welcome each of you to the committee. Never stop fighting!”

The room erupts in agreement.

Could it be true, everything the government tells us, can it all be a lie?

I see Mealnie leave the stage, meeting people all the way down. “ You need to meet her!” Marshall says walking over to her. I'm so confused, but behind the confusion I feel so much hope, maybe in this life I can make a difference.

“This is Paige.”

“Nice to meet you” Melanie reaches her hand out to me; I meet her blue eyes, lifting my hand into hers, a shock of recognition hits my body, as I fall into darkness my gaze travels down to her neck where my heart shaped locket rests.

I burst out of the water, gasping for air. “Restrain her!” someone yells “ you should have been ready, you knew she was about to come out of it.

“Get her under control, get that evidence down to the judge. Get the next target pulled up and get her ready to start back up.”

I'm injected with something that disables my whole body. “Alright Melanie, here we go.” I feel a tear roll down my face.

We failed.

“Alright, sending evidence against Paige and Marshal Dean. Down for final sentencing.”

“Alright Melanie, keep doing good work.” Cruel grins spread across the faces of the people around me. As I'm lowered back under the water.

I wake up in a panic, gasping for air; the oxygen burns my throat as if I was breathing in salt water. My body hurts, I correct my mind. This. This body hurts. I push away the past, erase the life that I was just living. Marshall, Paige, I push their faces to the back of my mind where I keep the rest of them.