She lived!

Looking at her luggage, she smiled as she sat by the side of the boat. It was gigantic, cargo-style, so enormous that she seemed as tiny as an ant. It was her long wait and a dream, a freedom she felt she couldn't express but celebrate within. 

It has been two months after her husband's demise, and she waited to be out in the air. She wanted to run from the rituals and shenanigans of the family around. Because she couldn't feel her belonging in these tantrums, she felt more suffocated and strangulated to live around faces who only looked for a sorrowful eye. She had to cry, and sometimes, she had to force herself to bring tears so that the public remained calm. She sat through all her rituals but never felt connected with her husband. That was her truth.

Five years passed, yet she thought she was just there in her husband's home with the label of a wife and the attached responsibilities and duties. Married at twenty, the condition of the parents, a kid by the following year, the condition of the mother-in-law in the community, and now a widow. She wondered if that was her condition. The life of an easy-going, happy girl turned upside down with a marriage on her way. She was abused and ill-treated for infertility issues. She tolerated hasty comments and faced unfortunate outcomes from every end. Of course, she raised her voice but never heard. Her every move was disapproved, scrutinized under the weight of her husband's family and her own. The life decisions were taken authoritatively by the horoscopes. She learned that striving for life was a mistake. Behind the door, the concept of happiness was discouraged. Instead, an unhappy life was encouraged and considered expected and normal. Absolute loneliness is what she befriended, her striving emotion. Unconsciously, she welcomed a life of sadness, which then became a habit. But now, she felt relief as if her cage had opened and her rope untied, but she couldn't speak about it to anyone. She kept everything to herself and became accustomed to the duties of being a widow.

But one day, out of the blue, she saw her mother visiting her and asking permission to take her daughter home for a few days. With granted approval, they started their ride, but at a random stop, her mom got down, shushed her, held out a cruise ticket and a packed backpack to her daughter, and said, "Just go, enjoy the water."

She was shocked by her mother's move. Her mother remembered her once-mentioned desire to be alone in the ocean. She had shared this desire with her mother over a fight on the topic, Why did her mother get her married? Later, eased over a warm cup of chai—the rare conversations about uncomfortable issues, as her mother mentioned. That was not a conversation she could forget but cherish. She leaped in delight, kissed her mother,  and continued without fear as she held on to her mother's courage through the ride of emotional memories of the past.

As she arrived at the pier, she was astounded by the size of the cruise. This layout was beyond her imagination. Her eyes couldn't own the journey she was going to harbor. She sat on a bench nearby, by the side of the cruise. She smiled as she watched groups of people, romantic couples, families of four, older people, and friends walking towards the cruise for boarding. She was jealous of what she saw. With the announcements of the cruise door closing, she didn't seem to leave her place but sat on the bench watching the cruise leave the port. It was as if she was waiting for someone to join, but she sat there the whole time admiring the beauty of the showdown. Once the pavement was clear, she stood up and walked towards a small boat hiding behind the cruise ship's scenes, which had gotten her attention.

A smooth and silent entry, and there she was with a tiny dimple by her cheeks as she sat beside him. She comfortably eased in others' eyes but fought her fear of water deep down. Irony as she saw herself swallowed by the sea. She sensed a strange insight in the middle of nowhere, alone with a few strangers, as the boat hit the high tide. She looked at the backpack her mother had packed. Suspiciously, she opened her bag and saw her photo, documents, and passport. She still dug deep and, at the bottom, a small, empty elixir bottle. She instantly threw her backpack beneath her legs and sat in fear. Feeling a pit in her stomach and sea sickness surrounded by the enormous ocean, her thoughts started to send panic signals to her body. Troubling her breath over the rough sea and the toppling boat, she wondered whether she would survive or whether she wanted to survive.

Looking at the extensive ocean while patiently waiting, she thought no one would even know if she went missing. She felt like the sea was calling her, inviting her to be absorbed. She walked to the end of the boat and held the rope to step into the water, but she couldn't. Frightened by the dark, dense water waiting to consume her, she stepped back and grabbed the rail, but an irresistible urge to jump remained. She let go of herself as the boat plunged over the rough wave, slid to a degree to the side,

and she fell into the ocean.

Splash! She saw herself fighting, her childhood drowning memory, gasping for breath. Yet the fierce water pushed her out and let her calm down. She drifted and eventually floated on the bluish coating, astonished at the vast sea and sky. She was soaked in the sunlight, surrounded by the majestic ocean, and her heartbeat was the only sound she could absorb. She wasn't frightened anymore, but the waves swayed her, taking her far away from the boat off the mark, and a red ring, the lifesaver, was thrown to her. She didn't want to hold it. She wanted to flow, but her body signed for help, and he dived, caved to the relentless waves, and owned her.

When she got back, she was surprised to realize that she hadn't even noticed the signs and boards that had been there from the start. Still, she signed for help beyond her sense and control. She couldn't recollect her mind in those moments in the sea but a new life reflecting over the ocean. She cried, moaned, and grieved as she sat through the entire journey.

When the boat arrived at the pier, he looked into her eyes and said, "Don't you dare cry once you step out of the boat, drop everything in here, and live. It's a new life." And she stayed through the night, and he waited outside, holding her backpack.

A morning dream that made him stay back from boarding as he saw her sitting on a bench nearby, by the side of the cruise.