SHATTERED DREAMS

Who is it?

Mr. Cooper, your mailman.

Come in, Mr. Cooper. Do you want a glass of cold, sweet tea?

That would be nice. Here is your mail.

You can put it on the kitchen table with the other mail. Have a seat.

I was worried about you. I haven’t seen you in days.

I’m alright. I’ve been sitting here reading old letters from the past. This letter is so old the words are fading. It was the last letter I got from Sam who was killed in the war. He did not live to see our baby daughter. I named her, Samantha. It wasn’t easy raising a daughter as a single woman. Now, she is a grown married woman with four- year-old twin daughters, which I have only seen only on pictures. Samantha named them Sarah and Lilly after my grandma and mama.

That was thoughtful of her.

She and the girls were coming to visit me, but they haven’t gotten here. I hope she will keep her promise. Mr. Cooper. Do you have a family?

I’m all alone like you. I know what loneliness feels like. Miss Iris, you’re the last person on my route. No one is waiting for me at home. If you would like to tell me about your younger years, I’m a good listener.

Mr. Cooper, this story is going to take a while. Let me refill your tea glass before I begin.

It started right here in Cross Town, Georgia, where I was born. My family and I lived on lane Street. I can see that old house as if it were yesterday. There were two beds in each corner of the one bedroom, and a small table where a kerosene lamp set. There was also a dresser, a fireplace, and a rocking chair. In one bed, my grandmother, Sarah, and aunt Rose slept. In the other bed I slept alone, because my mother Lilly had found a live-in housekeeping job out of town. One cold, dark night in bed alone, I whispered to my Aunt Rose:

Aunt Rose!

What?

I hear a ghost.

It is only rats in the loft.

Can I sleep with you and Mama.

It is not enough room for three people.

Please let me sleep with you all.

We are right over here.

Please!

I’ll do it this time, but don’s ask again. When your daddy lived here, we were not scared.

Do I have a daddy?

You did have a daddy. After you were born, he packed his things and left. He may be dead. I don’t know.

Tomorrow, I’ll tell you more, when Mama is at work. Now go to sleep!

When I woke up early the next morning, my grandmother, Sarah, had already left for work. Aunt Rose was sitting in the rocking chair by the fireplace. I jumped out of bed and went into the cold kitchen and used the pee can before going to sit next to Rose.

What did Rose tell you, Miss Iris?

Hold your horses, Mr. Cooper. I’m going to tell you every word of our conversation.

Iris, did you pee on yourself?

I made it in time.

I thought you were never going to wake up. That brown bag over there is for you. It is from your mama.

What is in it?

I don’t know! Look and see.

It’s a blue dress, white socks, and a little doll with blonde hair.

Are you going to name the doll?

I’m going to call her Miss Ann.

That is a good name for a doll.

Aunt Rose, how did I get a daddy?

You don’t need to know.

You promised.

His name is George. He was from Texas. He lived with us until you were born and then he disappeared. He was rat. A dirty rat. That is the whole story. Eat your sweet potatoes. I’m going back to bed until Mama brings us our dinner.

It’s cold in here!

Mama will be here soon. She’ll get the fire started, again. That is her now! I hear her walking across the porch. Open the door for your grandmother!

I brought y’all some food. Rose, after you finish eating, I want you to help me clean the bedroom across the hall. The town is building a new school just up the street from us. Mayor Berry was in the grocery store today. He was looking for a family to board two men that will be working on the construction of the school. I volunteered to let them board with us. We could use the extra money.

I thought you weren’t going to board anymore boarders ever again.

This will be different. Where did that blonde hair doll come from that Iris is playing with?

She was in that bag of hand-me-downs that Lilly sent Iris.

I named her Miss Ann.

That is a good name for a doll.

Mama, is it going to be like the last time?

Rose, this time will be different.

Iris, I guest it’s time for me to teach you about playing with doodlebugs under the house.

What are doodlebugs?

I will tell you later. Mama is coming with some logs for the fire.

What are you two giggling about?

Aunt Rose said my daddy was a rat.

He was a rat.

Iris, take your doll and go to bed. Rose and I will be across the hall.

That was the way it ended. Rose and Mama cleaned the extra room.

Did the boarders come to live with you all?

They did. It was Mr. Joe Fish and Mr. John Jones. There was only one bed in the extra room, so, they sleep together. Every Friday, Mr. Jones caught the greyhound bus home to his wife and kids, but Mr. Fish stayed in Cross Town, drinking and spending his hard- earned money on the women in Town.

When Mr. Jones left the house for the weekend, Sarah would give Rose a sack with four tea cakes. Two for Rose and two for me.

Rose, I want you and Iris to go play outside in the back yard, sit under the chinaberry tree and eat your teacakes. Don’t come back inside until I call you. Mr. Fish and I are going to talk grown-up stuff while I clean the kitchen.

Come on Iris, while we are outside playing, I want to show you what a doodlebug looks like.

The next day, Rose and I were on the porch. I was brushing Miss Ann's hair.

Let’s go inside! These mosquitoes are eating me up!

I want to stay out here and wait for Mama.

Stay out here and get eaten alive by mosquitoes? I am going inside and take a nap. I’ll be back out here before Mama gets off from work. Mama would kill me if she knew I left you alone. Don’t you leave this swing. Iris, do you hear me?

Miss Ann and I will be right here when you wake up.

Okay.

Hello Iris.

Hi.

Where is Rose?

In the house, sleeping.

Where is your grand Mama?

At work.

Do you want to go inside with me?

Aunt Rose told me to not leave the porch.

Come on!

No! I am going to tell my grandmother.

I don’t care. I’ll be done packing and on the next train. You or your crazy family will never see me again!

Thank goodness, I woke before Mama got home. Have you been crying?

No.

Yes, you are. I am looking right at you. Did something happen while I was asleep?

Mr. Fish tried to make me go with him to his room, but I didn’t go.

Iris, please don’t tell Mama that I left you out here alone, or what Mr. Fish tried to get you to do. I bet you won’t see him again. Let’s wait for Mama. She is coming now! Remember, Iris don’t tell Mama anything about Mr. Fish?

Rose, have you seen Mr. Fish?

No Ma’am.

Have you Iris?

No Ma’am.

My friend, Wade, said he saw Joe Fish hoping on a boxcar and skipping town.

He hasn’t given me my rent money! Iris, why are you looking so sad? I bet I know. You’re worried about starting school tomorrow.

Yes Ma’am.

I have a surprise for you. Those folks Lilly work for gave her the day off. She’ll be here early in the morning to walk you to school. You feel better now?

Yes Ma’am.

Girls, come with me to Fish’s room. I want to see if his stuff is gone.

I don’t want to go!

Rose, you stay here with Iris. I’ll go.

Let’s sit in the swing until mama comes back.

Joe Fish is gone! His closet and dresser draws are empty. May he burn in Hell!”

More tea, Mr. Cooper?

Just one more glass. Tell me more, Mrs. Iris, you got a very interesting history.

I graduated from Miss Cora Mae’s finishing school and went to college. You are talking to an educated woman, Mr. Cooper.

You don’t have to tell me. I can see that for myself. Please tell me more.

My best friend and classmate, Annie, was Mrs. Cora Mae’s granddaughter. We were friends until I stayed overnight at her house.

What happened?

My grandmother finally said I could spend the night with Annie.

Annie and I caught lightning bugs in her grandmother’s backyard until Miss Cora Mae called us to come and eat supper and get ready for school, the next day. After eating supper, we completed our school assignments and went to bed. We quietly watched the lighting bugs as they flew from wall to wall in the dark room.

Annie, let’s go to the same college. You’re just as smart as I am. We both can become teachers and teach school here in Cross Town. I want to get married and have lots of children.

Iris, I don’t want to go to college. I don’t want to be a teacher or marry and have a bunch of children. Once I leave, I don’t want to come back to Cross Town. I hate this place and the people. All they do is gossip. If I could, I would leave Cross Town, Georgia, tonight!

Where would you go?

Detroit.

Who would you live with?

I’d live with my Aunt Evelyn and get a job in one of those factories that she’s always writing about. She worked in one and made a lot of money. Now she owns a beauty parlor. I want to do what Aunt Evelyn did and open my own beauty shop. Once I leave from here, I’ll never return to this town or the South again! I don’t feel about boys like most girls, I am different. I love you, Iris. Don’t you love me?

I have heard about people like you. I am not like you. We can still be friends.

If you don’t love me like I love you, I don’t want you as my friend anymore.

You girls go to sleep. Tomorrow is a school day. My room is across the hall and I don’t want to hear any talking or giggling.

Yes, Ma’am.

Iris that goes for you, too.

Yes, Ma’am.

Goodnight.

The next morning, I awoke to find Annie gone. I could hear her and Mrs. Cora Mae talking in the kitchen. I sat up in bed and listened. In a tearful voice, Annie lied to her grandmother about what happened last night, while we slept together. She said I didn’t want to be her friend anymore!”

That heifer! Shame on Iris!

I don’t ever want to see Iris again! Can I go and live with Aunt Evelyn? I can work in her beauty parlor. She can teach me how to be a beautician. Aunt Evelyn said I was always welcome to come and live with her. Please, Grandma, can I go?

Annie, are you sure?

I’m sure, Grandma!

If that’s what you want. You pack your things and I will see if I can get you a ticket to Detroit, today. But if you ever change your mind, you can always come home.

Thank you, Grandma!

Annie, go to my room. I want to talk to Iris.

Yes, Ma’am.

Iris!

Yes Ma’am?

Are you dressed?

No, Ma’am.

Get dressed. Come and eat your breakfast and I want to talk to you.

I’m not hungry.

Come and eat your breakfast, now!

Yes Ma’am.

Raise your head and eat your breakfast!

Iris told me what happened last night.

I did nothing to Annie! She lied on me!

Don’t sass me young lady! You sit right here until I get dressed. I’m not opening the school today. I am going to help Annie pack. She’s going to Detroit to live with her Aunt Evelyn. And, let me tell you this, Missy, if you want to continue attending my school, don’t tell Sarah what was said between you and Annie last night. You just tell Sarah that I had some important business to attend to downtown. I’ll see you back at school tomorrow. You hear me?

Yes, Ma’am. I won’t tell.

Come and eat your breakfast, Annie. I’ll be right back.

Annie, why did you lie on me about last night? I wasn’t going to tell anyone. I still want us to be friends. If you leave, I want have any friends. I’ll be all alone. Please don’t go.

Iris, we can’t be friends anymore. I don’t ever want to see you again!

I’ll always love you, Annie.

I will always love you too, But, your love for me is different than mine.

Come on, Iris, I’m ready to go!

Goodbye Annie. I’m glad you got your wish.

Mrs. Cora Mae and I parted ways at the fork of the road. I walked toward home, and she toward town. When I got home…

What happened? I am sorry Miss Iris. I’ll try not to interrupt you again. Go ahead.

I found the house quiet and dark. I checked to see if Rose was asleep in our bedroom. I heard Mr. Charlie Sweet and Rose’s voices coming from his bedroom. Mr. Charlie Sweet was Sarah’s last boarder. I opened Mr. Sweet’s bedroom door and found Rose and him naked in bed together. I just stood there and stared at them until Rose and Charlie saw me. Mr. Charlie jumped up, grabbed his clothes and shoes off the floor, shielding himself with them, and ran out of the room. Rose, pulled the covers up around her head.

Why are you home?

Mrs. Cora Mae had some business to take care of downtown. I saw what y’all were doing.

We weren’t doing anything but talking.

You think I don’t know what’s going on between you and Mr. Charlie Sweet. If Mama finds out that Mr. Charlie is romancing you, she will kill him!

Please don’t tell Mama before we do! Charlie and I are planning to tell her tonight that he and I are getting married.

Too late.

Rose! Why are you in Charlie’s bed? You are naked! You’d better have a good reason for shaming me, or I’m going to whip you and kill Charlie Sweet with my bare hands!

Charlie! Mama’s home! We’d better talk to her now! Tell her, Charlie!

Rose, you better tell her.

Somebody had better start talking!

Miss Sarah, Rose and I are getting married and she is having our baby. We hope you’ll give us your blessing.

Before Mr. Sweet realized what was happening, Mama pinned him against the wall and began choking the life out of him. And she would have if Rose hadn’t begun screaming and gotten between them.

Mama, please don’t kill Charlie! I love him!

I’m sorry, Miss Jackson. I didn’t mean for you to find out about Rose and me this way. I love Rose. You’ve got to believe me!

I’m sorry, Mama!

My sweet Rose. How could you lie with the likes of Charlie Sweet?

Charlie and I love each other, Mama. I’m going to have his baby. We didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did.

I love Rose, too, Miss Jackson. You got to believe me!

Charlie Sweet, I want you out of my house right now and never come back.

Miss Sarah, I’ll leave your house, but Rose is coming with me.

The hell she is!

Mama, my bag is packed. I was going to tell you tomorrow. I guess today is just as good. When Charlie goes, I’m going with him.

If you leave with this trash, don’t you come back!

Iris, please take care of yourself and Mama and tell Lilly goodbye for me.

Aunt Rose, please don’t go. Mama didn’t mean it. I love you.

I love you and Mama, but I also love Charlie. One day, you’ll understand when you fall in love, and no matter what Mama says, I promise I’ll see y’all again.

Miss Jackson, I will love and care for Rose and your grandchild for the rest of my life.

I guess this is goodbye. I love you, Mama.

I’m sorry, Rose! I didn’t mean what I said. I’ll help you raise your baby. Please don’t go! Come back!

Iris, will we see her again?

We will see her again.

Did you see Rose again?

No, we didn’t. Mr. Cooper, this is the way my life has gone. All of my loved ones have died or forgotten me. Now I sit here in my kitchen, boring you with my sad past, and there is a lot more to tell.

Miss Iris, can I visit again?

That would be nice. I’ll cook dinner for us both.

Come on in. The door is open! You should know that by now. I made blueberry pie.

You are not Mr. Cooper!